What kind of men use prostitutes?

[Snugglepalace]

Dh has an outside job which involves spending time on various roads within towns and villages.
A couple of weeks ago he was working on a street in our local town. An everyday street with semi detached homes.
After a day or so Dh and his work colleagues noticed one particular house had a lot of 'visitors'. All the visitors were well dressed men arriving in nice cars. It averaged around 4 men per hour!
At lunchtime a car pulled up (the driver had pizzas) and the door was opened,there was an older woman in the hallway and several younger looking women loitering in the hallway also.

Dh and workmates are convinced it was a brothel. Over the weeks that they were working there they would glare at the men going in and said some of them looked very embarrassed once they realised they had been noticed, one even parked in a nearby supermarket and tried to get in the back way.
I know these things go on but what got me was the thought that surely, several, if not most of these men must have (oblivious?!) partners etc.

Cara, Most of them would not have the skills to go to university.

For what it's worth, I'm currently on my second stint at university now. First one was a joint History and Philosophy Ma, second one is a Bsc in Earth Science.

To be fair though, I did quit the first degree after its second year when I realised it would only really lead to more soul destroying admin work or, potentially, teaching.

There are a lot of very bright, well-educated and driven women in the sex industry.

Some women use escorting to pay for university. Know one has to know. Some men are lonely and it's not only men seeing escorts it's also women and couples how do you feel about them.

Cara and you think you sound normal

I don't judge sex workers but I do judge sex workers who would want their daughters to do what they do, because that shows an abnormal lack of love and care for their own child.

I definitely judge men who go to prostitutes. I think they must be at the very least seriously pathetic losers and at the worst rapists/sexual sadists who know how not to get caught (ie pay her and then you can do what you like)

Plenty of women are lonely/in unhappy marriages/ rubbish at relationships, but the majority of them don't resort to trying to buy time with a man's penis.

Ah but apparently, men can't control their urges.
They can't help it. Poor things.
We have obviously evolved more

Women and couples use female escorts as well let's not leave them out please. Does this poster have children do you think she may have said it as a defence thing?

Most of them would not have the skills to go to university.

Cara, a lot of the "I enjoy it, chose it and am paid well" sex workers have been doing it to, eg, fund a PhD. A high proportion of the small number of women at the relatively privileged end of the prostitution industry are very well-educated, middle class women.

Which is another reason why I object to the ongoing narrative that these women are entirely typical of prostitution, and should speak for (and over) other women in prostitution. They are not. They have choices. A lot of other women do not.

You are talking about kidnapping, sexual assault and drug abuse. The women who are posting are talking about escorting which is entirely different. All discussions should be heard and not dismissed.

Sorry but I think the voices of the most vulnerable should always be the loudest.

No one, in this whole thread, has ever said it's not possible for individuals to enjoy doing sex work. Just that that's not the experience of the majority, and that it's not a reason to advocate sex work on a wider scale.

I really don't know how else to put this so it's clearer.

My BIL ex who he has children with she came from a well off background. She was kidnapped, sexually abused and drugged daily. She was sold for sex. I don't know how long she was their but I think it was a couple years but how she escaped poor woman. She has mental health issues now her parents brought up her children. I've seen her kids on facebook and they look beautiful but troubled. They are adults now.

What these women choose to do is up to them they are not hurting anyone. We might as well blame the porn industry while we are at it.

They are not hurting anyone but themselves. But hey they're not worth much anyway eh? If money's changing hands it's just fine.

I'm pretty sure many posters here do blame the porn industry. I don't know why you think it's a leap from having issues with prostitution. They are pretty much one and the same as far as damage to all women goes.

People's actions don't exist in a vacuum. Participating in prostitution promotes the idea that women's bodies are a commodity to be bought, and affects the attitudes of men towards women.

And yes, porn is a problem too.

People should be more focussed on these sick bastards who kidnap these women. It's them you should be angry with.

What about the sick bastards who have sex with them? Rape them, in other words.

Obviously

Some of them are probably NottheFord's and Brazen's "clients"

Imagine if someone came on MN saying their job involved working alone with no supervision with strange men who wanted sex, that they were exposed to bodily fluids without any proper protection on a regular basis, that the chance of rape and sexual assault was astronomically high. Would everyone be saying 'that sounds like a good job, at least the pay is good,' or would they be saying 'get the hell out of there!'

There is just no justifying a situation where a woman feels that a sensible option for her is to put her life, safety and physical and mental health at risk. We don't allow it with any other job and prostitution shouldn't be exempt.

You are not doing women any favours by judging those escorts. Escorting and brothels are different. Escorting is about getting the girlfriend experience. Brothels is only about one thing and that's sex. I think brothels should be banned because it can hide a lot of abuse. There was a programme about women running a brothel they weren't abused or drugged. They looked like they enjoyed it and their boyfriends accepted it. It was an eye opener.

I did post earlier that I would encourage a woman doing it to use that money to educate or re-skill. You can not change or stop people from what they choose to do. All you can do is try to navigate them. You can't be judgmental because that will never help.

I'm not judging the escorts. They are making money, good luck to them. But their experience is not the reality for the vast majority of women in prostitution worldwide.

I'm judging the men, and I'd like the UK to adopt the Nordic model where buying sex is illegal.

That will make it more dangerous for women thats why they legalised it to protect them.

whats my point was AGAINST the the men agreeing with sparrow. Why have you twisted it?

The point I was making was that people have come on the thread saying 'oh the men are lonely etc' but plenty of women are lonely and don't resort to paying for sex.

We might as well blame the porn industry while we are at it.

Well, er, yes. I do.