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Original poster

What kind of men use prostitutes?

999 replies

Snugglepalace · 08/02/2017 09:51

Dh has an outside job which involves spending time on various roads within towns and villages.
A couple of weeks ago he was working on a street in our local town. An everyday street with semi detached homes.
After a day or so Dh and his work colleagues noticed one particular house had a lot of 'visitors'. All the visitors were well dressed men arriving in nice cars. It averaged around 4 men per hour!
At lunchtime a car pulled up (the driver had pizzas) and the door was opened,there was an older woman in the hallway and several younger looking women loitering in the hallway also.

Dh and workmates are convinced it was a brothel. Over the weeks that they were working there they would glare at the men going in and said some of them looked very embarrassed once they realised they had been noticed, one even parked in a nearby supermarket and tried to get in the back way.
I know these things go on but what got me was the thought that surely, several, if not most of these men must have (oblivious?!) partners etc.

OP posts:
CaraAspen · 09/02/2017 10:32

"NotTheFordType

My clients come from every walk of life. I have guys who work in high flying city jobs, and guys who stack shelves in Aldi. I've got quite a few students, whose parents have no idea what they're spending their rent money on!

The vast majority of them are nice and I'm happy for them to be repeat customers. Some of them are arseholes. But not in any greater proportion than in any population sample.

Please stop repeating hurtful stereotypes about sex workers. We're not hardened criminals FFS. We're not abuse victims hmm or drug addicts or running away from a shitty home. The vast majority of us have chosen this job because a) we enjoy it and b) it's incredibly lucrative.

Yes there is trafficking and that needs tackling but it's a very small proportion of the overall industry."

It sounds as if you live a wonderfully fragrant life.

CaraAspen · 09/02/2017 10:34

It's not a profession, it's rough trade. Ick

TheSparrowhawk · 09/02/2017 10:56

Most people would agree that when people are rude to you while you're working, it's pretty demoralising and stressful. If someone swears at you or is aggressive, it can make you feel pretty shit and that's in a situation where you have managers, you're working among other people, there is a health and safety policy etc. Repeated rudeness can make you start to feel depressed - not getting respect and appreciation in a job can seriously damage your mental health.

So are prostitutes exempt from that? Are they somehow ok with working in stressful and dangerous situations where the potential for rudeness/abuse/assault is very very high and where they have little or no help if the situation gets serious? Of course they're not, they're human beings. They want respect and safety as much as anybody else. But the fact is that people who defend prostitution don't really see prostitutes as human beings who deserve the same safety and respect as other people and that unfortunately as far as I can see goes for many prostitutes themselves.

jojo2916 · 09/02/2017 11:00

Definitely agree with cara aspen that this is the reality in many cases, any man professional or otherwise, married (I imagine many are married) or single who for whatever reason do not get to enjoy a good sex life otherwise. In the case of trafficking , slavery etc obviously that's very different but if they freely choose to do this, are safe and earn very well from it then it's up to them, I doubt there's ever a shortage of customers and I suspect many clients would be the type others would least suspect of doing this.

DianaMemorialJam · 09/02/2017 11:05

jojo where did cara say anything to do with what you just said? Confused

TheSparrowhawk · 09/02/2017 11:09

'If they freely choose to do this, are safe and earn very well from it'

That's a very very big if. Even women who choose to be prostitutes can't ever guarantee that their next client will be a decent person. At any time a man could come along want to hurt her, wanting to infect her with an illness (and yes there are men who deliberately infect women with diseases, including HIV), wanting to do something she's not comfortable with.

PleaseStopTalkingAtMe · 09/02/2017 12:00

I was single for two years once. At no point did it ever occur to me that I still ought to be able to get my sexual needs met, despite not having anyone willing to meet them.

Guess what? I just didn't have sex. I survived.

No idea why men's sexual desires are so much more important that they need a whole industry devoted to them.

Offred · 09/02/2017 12:11

Because it is not about sex.

It is about having power and control.

Like rape.

NotTheFordType · 09/02/2017 12:16

Sashh
If you could make exactly the same amount of money for stacking shelves or babysitting or typing would you still chose the sex work?

Are you kidding me. Would I rather be paid for having sex, or be paid the same amount for doing backbreaking and dull manual work? Yeah I think I'll stick with the sex work thanks Hmm

whoputthecatout · 09/02/2017 12:36

That sounds as if it is the sort of job for a lazy person who wants good money without too much effort but also has a low boredom threshold. Smile

Atenco · 09/02/2017 12:46

That sounds as if it is the sort of job for a lazy person who wants good money without too much effort but also has a low boredom threshold

I also loved "Never on a Sunday", just wish it were true.

TheSparrowhawk · 09/02/2017 12:52

Who would want to get well paid to do a boring but safe job with proper employment protection when they could get paid to risk their life and health being a fucktoy for emotionally immature men? No contest!

CaraAspen · 09/02/2017 12:56

"NotTheFordType

Sashh
If you could make exactly the same amount of money for stacking shelves or babysitting or typing would you still chose the sex work?

Are you kidding me. Would I rather be paid for having sex, or be paid the same amount for doing backbreaking and dull manual work? Yeah I think I'll stick with the sex work thanks hmm"

One job (the shelf-stacking type, just to make that clear) is a perfectly respectable and dignified job; the other is grim and not even the most desperate women - or men - would touch it.

HorridHenryrule · 09/02/2017 12:59

I think it's the judgemental nature of the thread towards women who does this type of work. Everyone knows about female trafficking and prostitution what happens to them they are sexually abused and drugged on a daily basis. These bastards have to be caught. When a woman decides to do it herself with no force or pressure from another person she is looked at judged and condemned. This type of work is not a job for life they have to get older. The one thing I noticed on this thread that only a couple of posts is showing any support towards these women. Why don't you re-skill or go to university instead you laugh and take the piss "the fact you call them 'clients' is funny". This work is only short term and when someone opens up to you about the best way to react is show support.
Iused not all men are like that you judge men because of your own experience. Most men don't give a shit what you did before and they can be very understanding. I wouldn't close yourself off you might let the good guy walk away.

AssassinatedBeauty · 09/02/2017 13:03

HorridHenry the women posting here who are prostitutes say they are happy doing that to make money. I'm not sure they'd appreciate advice to re-skill or go to university. I don't think I've laughed at or denigrated them at all.

HelenDenver · 09/02/2017 13:05

Cara is the only poster saying denigrating things, I think. I disagree with her.

HorridHenryrule · 09/02/2017 13:10

Oh I am so sorry of course they don't want to hear that. That's why you have not posted it. I will always support other women and give positive advice it's in my nature. It's not a job for life.

AssassinatedBeauty · 09/02/2017 13:11

Good for you HorridHenry.

CaraAspen · 09/02/2017 13:12

Most of them would not have the skills to go to university.

HorridHenryrule · 09/02/2017 13:15

Oh really I read a few years back that a law student from a wealthy back ground turned to escorting. What about that then.

NotTheFordType · 09/02/2017 13:16

Cara.
One job (the shelf-stacking type, just to make that clear) is a perfectly respectable and dignified job; the other is grim and not even the most desperate women - or men - would touch it.

I think that's a very unfair thing to say about babysitting.

ShoutOutToMyEx · 09/02/2017 13:17

Cara, do you enjoy being on MN? Genuine question.

NotTheFordType · 09/02/2017 13:17

Whorephobia! Get your whorephobia fresh and hot right here!

ShoutOutToMyEx · 09/02/2017 13:20

I definitely don't judge sex workers. I judge the men who use them and the society which tells them, however implicitly, that men's rights overrule theirs.

Sex workers are responding to a demand, I just think in a perfect world that demand wouldn't exist.

CaraAspen · 09/02/2017 13:23

Everyone knows about the odd weirdo student.
rolls eyes

A few exceptions do not make the rule.
Most students are relatively bright, are relatively normal and are not prostitutes.

Clearer?