What kind of men use prostitutes?

[Snugglepalace]

Dh has an outside job which involves spending time on various roads within towns and villages.
A couple of weeks ago he was working on a street in our local town. An everyday street with semi detached homes.
After a day or so Dh and his work colleagues noticed one particular house had a lot of 'visitors'. All the visitors were well dressed men arriving in nice cars. It averaged around 4 men per hour!
At lunchtime a car pulled up (the driver had pizzas) and the door was opened,there was an older woman in the hallway and several younger looking women loitering in the hallway also.

Dh and workmates are convinced it was a brothel. Over the weeks that they were working there they would glare at the men going in and said some of them looked very embarrassed once they realised they had been noticed, one even parked in a nearby supermarket and tried to get in the back way.
I know these things go on but what got me was the thought that surely, several, if not most of these men must have (oblivious?!) partners etc.

What kind of men use prostitutes?

Perhaps it's the kind that think woman are free to do what they want with their own body. dare I say feminists

I think trying to define a largely prejoritive term such as prostitute is the problem. Men who use women who are trafficked, forced, coerced, etc are monsters. I am sure we all agree, But as some PP's have articulated, some women choose to work in the sex trade, entirely of their own free will. This may go against the intrinsic bias of MN, but as it seems to be true. Therefore trying to lump all people including women who use the services of sex workers, into one bucket is a waste of time.

I should also say this is a very British discussion (meaning the general tone of it). I work throughout Europe and as an example the attitude of the Dutch or Sweden is very different to the tone on here and they both have better track records of equality for women than the UK just a thought

Agree with charlestrenet

The number of women who freely choose prostitution as a career is tiny.

Men don't like getting caught kerb crawling so like going to discreet brothels were they can get what they want (age, looks, services) no questions asked.

The Netherlands has its own problems with trafficking of adults and children.

DrMorbius, the fact that a woman might choose to do the job makes zero difference. Would you want your daughter choosing to get paid for men to use her vagina, mouth and anus?

Apart from.the ethical side of it, I would see it as betrayal. I wouldn't have a one night stand with another man (paid or not) because it would feel like cheating, surely having sex with a prostitute is cheating, lying and betraying (assuming the wife/girlfriend doesn't know and would be unhappy about it).

Iused - you highlighted a very important point, which is that while men might want to use prostitutes (and 'use' is the right word) many of them would be put off at the idea of marrying a prostitute. There is respect involved in the whole situation.

Iused you have nothing to be ashamed of. But I understand your reservations.

*What kind of men use prostitutes?

Perhaps it's the kind that think woman are free to do what they want with their own body. dare I say feminists*

Ha! Are you a john per chance DrMorbius?

That should say there is no respect.

Please stop repeating hurtful stereotypes about sex workers. We're not hardened criminals FFS. We're not abuse victims hmm or drug addicts or running away from a shitty home. The vast majority of us have chosen this job because a) we enjoy it and b) it's incredibly lucrative.

OK, question for you.

If you could make exactly the same amount of money for stacking shelves or babysitting or typing would you still chose the sex work?

Maybe those other European countries have a more liberal tone because women's sexuality is not as repressed as in the UK? It's often seen as fine here for men to have had a large number of sexual partners, not so much for women (although this is changing). A more relaxed attitude to sexual equality would also lead to a more relaxed attitude about other matters? (expressed badly, but I hope yswim?)

I do think the Swedish position is more enlightened, DrM:

The laws on prostitution in Sweden make it illegal to buy sexual services but not to sell them. Pimping, procuring and operating a brothel are also illegal.

Criminalise punters and pimps. Much better plan.

Yes I agree.

And it's not unheard of for young women to be with older men. Otherwise Mick Jagger wouldn't be a new father again would he?

ffs.
a) he's famous
b) he's rich.

So it's not okay for a prostitute to engage in sex with an old man (who could be rich) for a short period, and an exchange of money.

But it is okay for a younger woman to engage in sex on a longer basis with an old man for money and notoriety?

I never thought of it from the way of 'buying consent'. It has completely changed my way of thinking on this.

How CAN you buy someone's consent?!

I don't want to have sex with you.

I will give you £150?

Mmmm ok then.

Horrible, isn't it, Diana?

It's made me feel a bit sick tbh Helen.

Everyday is a school day eh.

It's also interesting when we get the odd punter post on here, and he recoils in revulsion at the idea of, say, sucking off another guy for money, because "he's not gay"

Well, sunshine, those women you put your dick into? They don't fancy you either. It's the same thing.

So, is our consent not real consent then? Just because a condition of our consent is payment?

Believe me when I say I consent wholeheartedly with my clients. If I didn't, they'd be out the door without service.

Implying that our consent isn't real consent is an absolute insult. It implies we don't know our own minds enough to decide who we want to fuck and why.

Brazen they're paying you. You're not fucking them because you want to. Don't insult OUR intelligence by suggesting otherwise.

Brazen would you do what you do with your punters if they hadn't paid you? I suspect in most cases not, so no, that isn't freely given consent. Of course you know your own mind, and you are not concerned about paid-for consent, which is your choice to make. Again though, that doesn't change my opinion on whether bought consent is a good thing to promote or encourage.

Brazen

I do not believe consent is a purchasable commodity, no. This is not an insult to you, any more than me not believing in god is an insult to Christians.

I don't believe people should be able to pay others for blood or bone marrow and I don't believe punters should be able to buy consent.

You obviously think differently, and that's fine. I don't take your opinion as an insult to me. It would be helpful if you extended the same courtesy.

So payment in exchange for consent isn't acceptable to you on a moral basis?
Why?

What are morally acceptable reasons for consent?

And no, as much as I enjoy my job of course I wouldn't do it for free.
Would you merrily do your job without getting paid for it Assassinated?