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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What kind of men use prostitutes?

999 replies

Snugglepalace · 08/02/2017 09:51

Dh has an outside job which involves spending time on various roads within towns and villages.
A couple of weeks ago he was working on a street in our local town. An everyday street with semi detached homes.
After a day or so Dh and his work colleagues noticed one particular house had a lot of 'visitors'. All the visitors were well dressed men arriving in nice cars. It averaged around 4 men per hour!
At lunchtime a car pulled up (the driver had pizzas) and the door was opened,there was an older woman in the hallway and several younger looking women loitering in the hallway also.

Dh and workmates are convinced it was a brothel. Over the weeks that they were working there they would glare at the men going in and said some of them looked very embarrassed once they realised they had been noticed, one even parked in a nearby supermarket and tried to get in the back way.
I know these things go on but what got me was the thought that surely, several, if not most of these men must have (oblivious?!) partners etc.

OP posts:
thequeenoftarts · 08/02/2017 20:21

I too, am an escort/ sex worker/prostitute, call it what you will. In between working a totally different professional job. I do both my jobs because I enjoy doing them. I am also registered as a sex worker and pay tax on my income from both jobs. I am also female :)

I have never been threatened, forced or persuaded to do a single service I do not wish to. I am not trafficked nor do I work from a brothel or on the streets. I am a strong woman who takes no nonsense from any man or woman. I do not take drugs either.

Sex work is most definitely a job to me, once I close the bedroom door, I forget about the job, until the next booking. There are also jobs I could not do, such as carer, cleaner,undertaker, mortician. They would totally freak me out. However I respect anyone's choice to do whatever job they choose and I have no right to criticize them for their choices.

I practise safe sex totally, condoms are used with every service, no CIM is allowed, clean towels, bedding for each client and all MUST shower at my place before they get any service on offer.I supply shower gels, mouthwashes, deodorants. If a client refuses they can leave, without a refund as they have read my profile and know what to expect.

I get blood tests, mouth, throat swabs and gynae swabs done monthly and the clinic knows exactly what I do for a living. The gynae swabs are just for my own peace of mind, they are not needed if you don't practise unprotected sex. I keep a list and number for all my clients on the date they arrived, any issues are noted and I refuse to see them again, if I am in any way unhappy.

There are men who come to me that are married, single, divorced, clergy, police, doctors, accountants, students, young and old - wrinkly included lol and all inbetween. I only see white males, and yes this is highly racist but no foreigners as they are the worst for not respecting your boundaries and disrespecting you. They also prefer unprotected sex.

My rules are simple - I demand and get respect and a clean body to work on..It is not all about the sex either, some men are brutal in bed, some amazing, some want to learn new things ( if I offer them that is), some want to talk, some just need to escape for an hour from whatever is troubling them.
The body image is not one I am concerned about, they can be fat, slim, chubby, fit, athletic, wrinkly, there is no body I have not seen, and no body that bothers me either. And once you have seen a penis, sure they all look very alike lol.
I have had many many satisfying encounters with clients and many disappointing ones also with both clients and partners. I am not a perfect model sized body and never will be, I have lumps, bumps, saggy boobs, cellulite and so do many of my clients. I am a normal human being, and so are they.

However yes, I do agree that anyone being trafficked, forced or coerced into doing this job against their wills should be helped escape and their captors or pimps should be jailed for many many years. No one should benefit on the backs of others by forcing them to do a job.
Please don't judge us because we have made up our minds to be sex workers of our own free will, however by all means help us to help the ladies/girls who actually need our help to escape a world they do not wish to be part of...Do not confuse the two,otherwise lines get blurred and people slip between the gaps when they require assistance.

My family and friends all know what I work as - in both jobs.
As for whether my daughter would want to do this job, like myself she is a strong minded individual adult, and if she said she wanted to escort, than I would give her all the advice she needed to be safe and decide if the job was for her. If it was, then that is totally her choice, if not I too would respect her decision.

But having worked in a profession ( other job) where women are treated like shit by so called professional men, just because they class us as lesser beings, then I know which job I prefer doing.

I will be very honest and say yes I do this mostly for the money, but I also get a kick out of meeting strangers, putting them at their ease, making them laugh and making both them and I happy.

I would far prefer my partner, when I have one, to see an escort over having an affair with the barmaid from the local pub, or some girl he met in a bar.
For starters, there is no emotional entanglement, there is less risk of catching a disease as most escorts practise safe sex and there is next to no risk of an escort following him home and attempting to blackmail him, or tell his wife about his night of fun....

One thing I say to all my clients in the bedroom - this is an hour of fun, it is not meant to leave you with any unwanted diseases or destroy anyone lives, be it their's, a partner's or mine. I want them to leave with only happy memories and I will never contact anyone outside of a booking unless they contact me first.

Brazenhussy0 · 08/02/2017 20:21

Archery There definitely are many women in the sex industry who shouldn't be. Completely acknowledge that we're at the privileged end of the spectrum.
But those at the less fortunate end tend to have other issues which may lead to the sex industry, but aren't caused by the sex industry e.g. childhood abuse, drug addiction, alcoholism, poverty... These are the issues that need tackling.
Fix those problems, and the numbers of vulnerable women entering sex work would naturally decline.

Brazenhussy0 · 08/02/2017 20:23

thequeenoftarts Love your username Grin and great post as well.

KarlosKKrinkelbeim · 08/02/2017 20:24

"Sex workers register" who maintains that then? Companies house?
I smell BS

DianaMemorialJam · 08/02/2017 20:25

I don't think anyone is judging prositutes.

My concern is for the addicts/trafficked women, and the wives/girlfriends and families of the men who degrade themselves by paying for sex. Finding out your husband is a scumbag must be heartbreaking.

HelenDenver · 08/02/2017 20:25

"wreck unsuspecting women's lives?!"

Nope. That would be the punters. It is not the responsibility of the prostitute to protect the relationships of punters.

I support the Nordic model and would like punters criminalised. But your comments are off beam.

ShoutOutToMyEx · 08/02/2017 20:26

I am a strong woman who takes no nonsense from any man or woman

Oh here we go. So if you do end up being raped, beaten or given diseases by a punter, you're just a bit weak.

DianaMemorialJam · 08/02/2017 20:27

Helen if no wine sold their bodies, men wouldn't be able to pay for it. And at the end of the day they ARE complicit because they are providing a service for married men to have extra marital sex. Why would you do that to another woman? What happened to the fucking sisterhood?

DianaMemorialJam · 08/02/2017 20:28

No one*

Ftlofg · 08/02/2017 20:29

But those at the less fortunate end tend to have other issues which may lead to the sex industry, but aren't caused by the sex industry e.g. childhood abuse, drug addiction, alcoholism, poverty... These are the issues that need tackling.
Fix those problems, and the numbers of vulnerable women entering sex work would naturally decline.
This 100%

KarlosKKrinkelbeim · 08/02/2017 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

venusinscorpio · 08/02/2017 20:32

Yes, that's easy peasy, isn't it?

HelenDenver · 08/02/2017 20:33

No, diana.

They are having sex with men for money. Not specifically targeting married men etc.

I don't think consent is a commodity, so I consider punters are paying to rape sex workers. It's ridiculous to blame prostitutes for men's actions.

venusinscorpio · 08/02/2017 20:33

I agree Helen.

DianaMemorialJam · 08/02/2017 20:34

I'm not blaming them at all. I've mad it extremely clear that I think the men that do this are shitty and awful. What I'm saying is that the prostitutes on this thread are aware of their customers relationship status and they don't seem to care. I think that's fucked up.

DianaMemorialJam · 08/02/2017 20:35

Made*

DianaMemorialJam · 08/02/2017 20:35

You know what now that I've read that second bit of your comment again it's made me have a rethink. That has honestly stopped me in my tracks.

AssassinatedBeauty · 08/02/2017 20:36

Prostitution is not just a job. It cannot be given the nature of what is being done. Prostitutes who enjoy or don't mind what they do might regard it as a job or work, but that doesn't mean it is "just a job".

I get annoyed by the implication that being anti-prostitution means that somehow you're anti-sex or against whatever consensual sex two adults want to have (that doesn't harm anyone or involves bought consent). I don't think prostitutes are sluts for example. I don't think any woman is a slut. I wish that we could get to a world where no woman (or man) sold themselves and no man would dream of buying access to women. I think prostitution is harmful to all women and specifically to the most vulnerable women and girls.

thequeenoftarts · 08/02/2017 20:45

KarlosKKrinkelbeim - No BS around here, unless you are standing in it yourself...

I am registered as a self employed sex worker with Revenue, I keep a diary of my clients and my accountant does my accounts each year and I pay what I owe. I am not a tax defrauder and I will not allow you to call me a liar and imply I am one. I also pay PAYE on my regular job.

Shout Out To My Ex - not at all. I can't take responsibility for anyone else apart from myself. I have huge empathy for anyone, sex worker or not who is attacked or beaten or raped. It must be a truly horrible thing to happen to someone. However in my experience, the stronger and more sure you are of yourself you appear to be, the less likely you are to have someone trying it on with you. While it is not impossible to contract an STI while engaging in sex work, especially when I don't practise risky sex, it is more likely to happen when you have a one night stand with "Fred" from the local pub.

DianaMemorialJam - I totally agree with you regarding trafficked girls. I pity each and every one of them and I truly hope one day they can all be free and safe. It is my choice to do what I do, I can't imagine what it must be like to have no choice and no voice, it's totally heartbreaking to even think what it must be like for them.

But men would find a way regardless to have sex, they have been doing it since time began. I can't be held responsible for their choices, anymore than you going out and killing someone would be my fault?

Atenco · 08/02/2017 20:45

if no wine sold their bodies, men wouldn't be able to pay for it

You make it sound all totally voluntarily, whereas I would like to know where the thousands upon thousands of young girls (in Mexico alone) who have been kidnapped and/tricked into prostitution fit in with your idea?

thequeenoftarts · 08/02/2017 20:47

Brazenhussy0 Thank you :)

thequeenoftarts · 08/02/2017 20:47

KarlosKKrinkelbeim Wed 08-Feb-17 20:32:34
I wouldn't bother debating with these posters. It is clear they are not genuine. God knows why people bother with this time wasting 💩

KArlos why are we not genuine? Please explain your reasons for that statement?

DianaMemorialJam · 08/02/2017 20:48

Atenco please read my pp about trafficked women. That post was clearly aimed at the so called 'privileged few' and also I just read Helens post and found it very eye opening. RTFT I think they say? Smile

thequeenoftarts · 08/02/2017 20:50

Atenco

They don't fit in at all with our ideas, very simply...Not one of us agree with trafficking and kidnapping and forcing young girls/ladies/women/men into the sex industry and I for one call for the maximum penalty for any person forcing another person to do this.

AssassinatedBeauty · 08/02/2017 20:52

thequeenoftarts the comment about being stronger and more confident does sound to me like you think women can avoid rape by changing their behaviour. That seems somewhat victim blaming to me.

If we ever got to the point where no man wanted to pay to use your body (or anyone else's), what would you do instead?

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