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Original poster

Ive made a mistake

179 replies

Bigfluffybear · 03/02/2017 21:31

Years ago i had an affair with a married man. He recently got in touch again to meet but i decided against it. Today he turned up at my workplace and we ended up going home after work and had sex. He left about 8pm. Ive made a mistake

OP posts:
Violetcharlotte · 04/02/2017 20:12

I haven't ignored the back story, I've read the other threads. This is just my view obviously and may be totally wrong (as we all may be as we don't know the OP and are making a judgement based on posts on an online forum).

In her posts the OP comes across as being very needy (constant posting, seeking assurance). She met the new guy a couple of weeks ago and slept with him pretty soon after. She then slept with her ex who she had an affair. (Not judging, this is what happened, right?)

The OP says she can't talk to anyone IRL about this.

This all strikes me as someone who lacks confidence and self esteem, is pretty lonely and doesn't have any proper friends she can open up to.

There's normally an underlying reason why people behave the way they do. Harsh criticism and judgment is rarely helpful

AnyFucker · 04/02/2017 20:18

Op, do you have any good female friends ?

If you were mine in RL I would telling you to sort the fuck out of yourself

onlyslightlyinterested · 04/02/2017 20:31

How old are you? Your posts seem childlike. I'm guessing 19....

SparklyMagpie · 04/02/2017 21:01

OP yet again, that was not what I was asking, I wasn't asking where your son was tonight/this weekend, it's where he was when you was shagging your ex.

Violetcharlotte I'm a single mum and would I fuck put myself in a situation like this! My son comes before anyone, not saying OP doesn't deserve a life but I would not be shagging two men when I have bigger fish to fry! I'm not even arsed now if I'm being harsh.

Don't you think you should tackle one problem you've caused before another?!

I'm all for single parents to get out there, have a life 100% but this situation, I'm sorry no! This new guy may not be your boyfriend yet but you've already shagged someone else,who was married. You claimed was a mistake but 10 years later you've made the same mistake.

Nahhh sorry for all the posters on OP's side,I have no sympathy and she's setting herself up for an even bigger fall, I doubt she even knows what she really wants

SparklyMagpie · 04/02/2017 21:03

Oh and OP "If you're asking do i introduce him to men then the answer is definitely not"

OK so you're passing your friend off as his dad an had a hole post about whether you should tell the truth

You start shagging a married man for 2 years, go on holiday with him and your son and didn't correct anyone when they assumed he was your son's father

Yeah ok OP Hmm

AnyFucker · 04/02/2017 21:13

For anyone still thinking this op is getting a hard time....

Her son is 12 and she continues to let him think a sleazy married men who shags about is his father when she knows he is not

Go figure

RacoonBandit · 04/02/2017 21:15

Oh hell. I commented on that paternity thread. I didnt clock the name and did not realise it was the same OP.

Pretty scummy behaviour all round really Hmm

SparklyMagpie · 04/02/2017 21:21

AnyFucker hello again Grin just double checking, you know it's not the married man she's passing off as her sons father? It's a friend who lives in another country who is due to come over soon and she'll have a talk to decide whether they tell her son?

Apologies if wrong

BingoBingoBingoBango · 04/02/2017 21:28

But she hasn't slept with this friend either! And I'm sure I spotted somewhere she shagged her boss to get a promotion. Hmm which is lovely and earns you so much respect.

BingoBingoBingoBango · 04/02/2017 21:29

Apologies if wrong.

SparklyMagpie · 04/02/2017 21:32

BingoBingoBingoBango as far as I can remember, she's not slept with the ' friend ' who they pass off as her sons dad? Not sure about the other you have mentioned but it's not a good track record is it

I don't care what anyone gets up to, but when her son is the main focus it just bothers me, and you'd think you'd focus on that rather than shagging around. But that's just me

SparklyMagpie · 04/02/2017 21:33

I actually don't believe any of this, because nobody in there right mind would prioritise fucking about before their children, but what do I know?

Violetcharlotte · 04/02/2017 21:40

Wow - some people are so judgmental. Have you honestly never made a mistake and done something stupid that you're ashamed off?

Fluffybear I do think you need to try and work on getting to a place where you're not getting in these situations as you're really not helping yourself.
But I would think twice before posting this type of stuff on here, so many sanctimonious types who just love to pass judgement.

I hope you manage to work things out .

sameoldsameoldthing · 04/02/2017 21:44

You don't seem to know what you want. You have been on a few dates with this new 'boyfriend' but by the sound of things had this meeting with the ex set up in parallel with that. I don't think its fair to start seeing someone while you've got this other situation lurking in the background. If you want to keep your options open then you should at least be upfront about that before involving someone else.

SparklyMagpie · 04/02/2017 21:45

No I can honestly say I've never made these mistakes or anything similar, I've have self respect and a duty to my child Violetcharlotte issues concerning my child come first before a shag

RacoonBandit · 04/02/2017 21:45

Erm i have never mistakenly named a man as my childs father for 12 years when i know full well he isnt and lied to my child.
I have never mistakenly shagged a married man for 2 years.
I have never mistakenly let strangers believe said married man was my childs father.
I have never mistakenly shagged another man while dating another.
Hmm
I have mistakenly forgotten an inset day at school but that is no comparison.

FellOutOfBed2wice · 04/02/2017 21:50

I'd say just forget it. It's not been long with the new guy, you haven't talked about being exclusive. Forget it and move on but never ever see the ex again. He's clearly a wrong un and you clearly can't control yourself around him. If you don't want to be with him then dont have sex with him.

BingoBingoBingoBango · 04/02/2017 21:50

The OP has previously admitted she uses her looks to get what she wants so I don't believe for a second she just ends up in these situations.

RacoonBandit · 04/02/2017 21:52

Ewww really Bingo? Thats nasty Sad

AnyFucker · 04/02/2017 21:54

The married man and the pretendy father of the 12yo are not the same bloke ?

Curiouser and curiouser...

RacoonBandit · 04/02/2017 21:58

Nope. Hes just a friend as op has no idea who the baby daddy is.

Violetcharlotte · 04/02/2017 22:01

Sparklymagpie Racoon good for you! It must be nice to feel so morally superior Hmm

I've made loads of mistakes with men in the past. One of my friends slept with a married man. Another cheated on her husband. I don't think any less of either of them. They're both lovely women who adore their kids. They were just in a bad place at the time. Shit happens, it's called real life.

RacoonBandit · 04/02/2017 22:07

I think morals matter in this instance Violet i dont know anyone who has made as many mistakes as the OP has.....maybe I just have a better class of friends.

The fact that your moral compass is so low is concerning.

SparklyMagpie · 04/02/2017 22:18

AnyFucker ,no as RacoonBandit said, two different blokes.

Violetcharlotte how many married men have had an affair with you?
How many men have you passed off or not corrected as your son's father?

How many relationships new/old have you had where you've gone am slept with your ex you've not seen in 7+ years?

not your friends,YOU?

SparklyMagpie · 04/02/2017 22:20

And for the record VioletCharlotte you have NO idea on my past thank you very much, I'm not sat up there feeling superior, but you can bet you last dollar me doing anything like OP has when she has responsibilities, and bigger priorities.

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