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Original poster

Ive made a mistake

179 replies

Bigfluffybear · 03/02/2017 21:31

Years ago i had an affair with a married man. He recently got in touch again to meet but i decided against it. Today he turned up at my workplace and we ended up going home after work and had sex. He left about 8pm. Ive made a mistake

OP posts:
tribpot · 04/02/2017 09:37

Well i cant tell anyone in real life can i?

Why not? It strikes me that you don't feel you are accountable for your actions, even to yourself. You want to make a go of it with this new guy but you "ended up" back at your house with the ex. How did that happen, magic? No - you chose to go out for drinks with him when he turned up despite you telling him not to. You chose to go home with him despite wanting to make a go of things with someone else. You have made choices. Until you start owning them, you will keep making bad choices.

So I would tell people in real life. Not the new guy (I don't know enough about modern dating etiquette to know if you're really an item yet, although I wonder how you'd feel if he had done the same thing yesterday). But your friends. Admit it, admit that you've done things you're ashamed of. Listen to what they have to say.

SparklyMagpie · 04/02/2017 09:39

Haha I remember saying on your other thread that I'd look forward to seeing your next post that you'd met up with him...and here you are

Original poster
Bigfluffybear · 04/02/2017 10:44

In not saying im not to blame here. I really like the guy ive been seeing and i can see it developing. Im not going to tell anyone it happened as its no one elses business

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 04/02/2017 11:24

Who cares so you slept with him and regret it. Put it behind you. Nc with the ex and crack on with the new guy who isn't even a bf yet!

SparklyMagpie · 04/02/2017 11:31

If you could see it developing you wouldn't have slept with your ex.

TheStoic · 04/02/2017 11:35

So you're absolutely not going to have any more contact with the ex, presumably?

OnionKnight · 04/02/2017 11:38

I really like the guy ive been seeing and i can see it developing.

Why fuck the ex then? Hmm

TheNaze73 · 04/02/2017 13:33

Don't minimise what has happened as a mistake. You clearly knew full well, what was going to happen. As Onion has just said, why did you fuck the ex???

picklemepopcorn · 04/02/2017 13:39

From where I am sitting, you haven't really done anything wrong. You can move on. What is worrying though, is that you don't sound very 'in control'. It sounds as though you just drift into things a bit.

Do you need a long hard think about what you want, and how to make it happen? So that you have fewer regrets and make fewer mistakes?

Original poster
Bigfluffybear · 04/02/2017 13:52

Im going out with new guy tonight. I wont speak to my ex again he texted me last night and today but i ignored them. I really like this guy we get on really well so i would like to give it a good go.

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 04/02/2017 14:13

OK but can I just say one thing, I read another of your threads before and didn't realise you was the same OP, but please focus on your son in regards of the other issue.

The fact you let people believe your ex was the dad, the situation with the friend...if something becomes a relationship with this new guy, please don't let this happen again.

I think you need to take some time out tbh if this new guy wasn't on the scene would you be meeting with the ex again?

Sounds like you really need to think about things properly, if I had strong feelings for someone and could see a possible future, I would not be shagging an ex especially knowing the situation last time.

And please keep this guy and your son separate, sounds like you have form for jumping in where your son's concerned

OliviaStabler · 04/02/2017 14:24

I wont speak to my ex again he texted me last night and today but i ignored them.

I am sorry but I don't believe you.

SparklyMagpie · 04/02/2017 14:47

OliviaStabler I agree with you, OP has said all this before. An as I said on the last thread that I'll wait for her next posts about it ( which is now this one) I'll wait for the next post about her new potential boyfriend leaving and her sleeping with her ex again

Ellisandra · 04/02/2017 14:49

OK, well if you like this new guy - how about you show that by not screwing around behind his back again?

For all those saying he's not a boyfriend yet, what would be your reaction if you had been seeing someone for two weeks, in a bit of a flush of "I like him!" and he said - just so you know, I slept with my ex last night, not planning to again though. Would you honestly think "fair enough, we just met". Bet if you posted it here, some would say that, but the majority would say "that's not a good sign".

Greta84 · 04/02/2017 15:11

Issues

SparklyMagpie · 04/02/2017 15:20

Ellisandra mhmm agree with you, she likes him so much that she snagged her ex. If I was the boyfriend I'd walk from that personally,or a guy who I was potentially seeing something with did this to me I would definitely walk. Would show how much they did think of me. I understand everyone's not the same, but even considering the background her an her ex have I just couldn't be fine with that

OliviaStabler · 04/02/2017 15:28

SparklyMagpie I agree.

Surely if you have a new man in your life and you think it is 'going places', you don't have the desire to bang someone you've not seen in 10 years.

SleepingTiger · 04/02/2017 15:31

This style of posting appears its head again.

AnyFucker · 04/02/2017 15:37

Posts for "advice"

Takes no fucking notice and does the one stupid thing she was advised not to

Rinse and repeat

BingoBingoBingoBango · 04/02/2017 15:39

You'll shag him again. You could block his number, but you won't.

PaterPower · 04/02/2017 15:41

I'll repeat my earlier question OP - were you using a condom with the married guy? If not, you owe it to the "BF" to get tested and cleared before you sleep with him.

AnyFucker · 04/02/2017 15:47

No doubt there will be a surprise pregnancy in a couple of weeks...

And who will be the daddy?

flumpybear · 04/02/2017 15:48

Draw a line under it and walk away. If you think there's a chance you could be pregnant take the MAP and move on with your new relationship

SparklyMagpie · 04/02/2017 16:30

Maybe it's just me, but I don't get how you could just sleep with someone you've not heard from for like 7/10 years, who you apparently have no feelings for? Especially when there's a new guy on the scene that you really like? It's just not fair.

Someone who apparently was a good friend but can't get Intouch for 7+ years, you meet up and have a shag! No thanks, especially when you have bigger issues to sort out like being truthful to who your son's father is

Sorry OP, but the fact I spoke about this on your last thread, how upset your child was after you left this man; and you shouldn't have him walk into your lives again, I know it's your life and your decisions but it's like you're wanting the drama

You definitely have bigger things to be thinking about. Do both blokes a favour and walk away and focus on the bigger matters in your life

It's pretty ridiculous an I can see where this is going to end up

AnyFucker · 04/02/2017 16:45

I'd like to know where these women find all these blokes.

I have some lovely single female friends that despair of ever finding a bloke. Then bloody empty heads like this one here have two on the go.

Perhaps their standards are much, much higher. And that is a good thing. The specimens on Jeremy Kyle never seem to short of a shag, that's for sure.