Brave Babes - reconvene here!!!

[dementedma]

Hi all
We seem to have finished the last thread but no-one has done a new one. Don't get lost! Gather here until we can sort it out.

Morning BBs.
I'm currently laid up on the sofa with this rotten virus again! It's been hanging around since mid December and I'm thoroughly fed up of it!
Went out to dinner last night and didn't drink. It's fast becoming a way of life now. I can't wait for the elderflower to come into bloom so I can stock up on cordial. I'm so addicted to it and chai latte right
now. 😁☕
Today's luxury will be a moisture bomb and trying on my new eBay haul of dresses.

Morning all, glorious sunshine after the rain yesterday which means I have not excuse not to start clearing the garden. Fecking hate doing that. Hope struggling babes re ok. Dh just gone out to split up a catfight...Sounds like Gerry is having a dust up with the cat next door!!

Morning all,
Mint sorry to hear you feel rough,, but how brilliant you are managing to stay AF, high fives and hugs! Enjoy your bomb and dresses, I am going to enjoy a lazy morning fuelled with good coffee as my luxury, small pleasures.

TelephonicSuper looks like everyone had gone to bed when you posted, did you have a tricky night? Join us of you like, you'd be very welcome.

Hello to everyone else, still stiff and sore today, not sure if it's best to rest up or keep moving - perhaps a combination of both is best for a bad back.

Have a good day everybody, like you Pure Sunday has always been a drinking day but I have so far managed to kick that habit and feel so much better on Monday.

Telephonic hello and welcome
Aww mint hugs and kisses, you poor thing!
Tiger hope you’re ok?
I’ve got a very boring/uneventful day ahead. Mams on nights so will be in bed all day. Planning to watch NCIS series 13 this afternoon, then perhaps take the dog for a walk at 3/4pm provided the weather stays dry. I’ve got to wash my hair tonight grr. Mams at work tonight and dad’s going out to the club so just me and the dog. Plan to spend it re watching episodes of NCIS (for some reason, I’ve seen S1-9 numerous times but only seen 10-13 once) so am going to watch s10-13 then watch right from s1

Ok... so here goes with some (very) potted wisdom(ish), gleaned from my past 17 days of sobriety (obvs with many caveats about early days etc etc and I don't in any way profess to have all the answers!)

1. Detox is the best thing I've ever done, and also the scariest. The Librium they give you sorts out the anxiety and other symptoms of alcohol withdrawal. I thought I was in the wrong place. Heck, THEY thought I was in the wrong place: when I arrived with my suitcase, one of the staff members asked me if I knew where I was going and when I said no she apologised and said "sorry, I thought you were a client, not staff" .
2. I wasn't in the wrong place. There are many many degrees of alcohol dependence.
3. Day 3 I went into withdrawal "proper" - shakes and sweats. I guess breaking free of c. 140 units a week will do that to a girl.
4. (Yes - I have kept my high-powered job, and lovely home, and two gorgeous children, and lovely marriage in spite of no 3 above - I binge drank to blackout every night and couldn't stop. But everything was "naice" [sic] on the surface. Totally easy to be in denial in these circs...)
5. There are two books I think everyone struggling with alcohol should read - and give themselves a break. Alcohol is an addictive substance, end of. The more you use, the more you will want to use. First book (already recommended on here) is "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace. This book owes a huge debt to both Jason Vale and Allen Carr - both also worth a read. The second book I highly recommend is "Alcohol: Explained", by William Porter. Both of these books will help you to stop beating yourself up about the baffling, cunning, foe that is alcohol.
6. AA is weird - and the whole "powerlessness" thing irritates me hugely - but I am still going because (a) I get "me" time, (b) there are so so many similarities in all our stories, from whatever background and (c) I don't want to underestimate the mental and emotional power of long-term addiction. While it helps me, I will keep going.

I feel odd. Well - in some ways, feeling ANYTHING feels odd. I have spent my life avoiding most feelings. So I feel kind of "new". I got very down yesterday and couldn't understand why. Then my daughter (11 !) suggested (wisely) that I have a nap. I slept for three hours straight. Blimey.

So... I will be back with more... but I hope some of this helps someone at least a bit. I totally totally get it. I have battled this for YEARS and finally have a little peace, even if (as the cliche goes) it's "one day at a time". That will do for me.

Time for a name change Elf - WiseOldElf ? I think you are marvellous to have done this, long may your feeling of peace last.
Strange how we all manage to hold our lives together, run homes, appear 'fine' and yet under the surface we have this battle raging on, and it is so common.
I've said before the image of the dishevelled, slurred voiced, shaky drinker, imbibing cheap cider at breakfast is a strong one to shake, the woman in the make-up, taking her kids to classes and having a responsible job can't have an issue surely?

Have a lovely afternoon made and everyone else.

Just had a bit of bad news to end the weekend so will be tied up for the rest of the day I have no intention of drinking though, it won't help.

Hi lux sorry about bad news. It doesn't help does it?
I'm continuing in getting things sorted here, the phrase redefining my life keeps coming into my head over and over again.
So, into the garden and have made a start on the overgrown soggy mess. Hauled out a huge clump of brown dead stuff and found a lovely clump of lilac crocuses as a reward. I'm enjoying the positive things .

Lux

Elf awesome post, thank you so much for your frank and inspirational words.
I read Allen Carr when I stopped smoking. I found his words uber helpful, made such good sense.

Completely unhelpful, self-centred post but am so bloomin' angry
Someone who still works at the place I left just rang me, to tell me that boss has been badmouthing me, telling children that if he were in charge he wouldn't have hired me (grr) and also there have been threats made against me (by the child)! So angry with boss speaking about me like that, part of me wants to punch him and part of me wants a drink (because I'm stressed) and more work for me to do as I'll have to ring my Witness Support officer in the morning now. Urgh, I could do without this. And could do with punching smug ex boss right in the nose (not going to, don't worry)

He's an unprofessional turd. Badmouthing you to the children, what sort of behaviour is that? I'm sorry, madein. He's an extra large prick with a side order of twattiness. You're a hell of a lot better than him.

That just made me laugh carte so thank you , he is definitely a prick with a side order of twat and I'm going to complain to the CSSIW in the morning I think

Sorry made he sounds like a right shit!

I have been lurking on this thread for a while and eventually got up the courage to post.

I have a problem with alcohol- well specifically with wine. It has been getting worse over the past few years, but in recent months I have been drinking about a bottle a night in the week (after work only). But starting at midday (or earlier) on both a Saturday and Sunday and drinking at least 2 bottles each day....so 9 bottles of wine a week.

And no hangover - and functioning well at work. But pretty crap at being a mum as completed zoned out in the evenings and weekends.

No excuses, but marriage also falling apart.

But I felt poorly all this week at work- eventually throwing up Friday after work. Headache and ache all over still after 2 days in bed. Keep going hot and cold and can barely stay awake.

I am guessing that I have a virus, but also thinking that the shakiness and racing heart maybe due to no alcohol?

And most importantly, I have not drunk anything for 3 whole days....so any tips from you lovely ladies on how to keep off the booze once I start to feel better?

OK, let me plunge in the deep end.

I started a thread on Chat and was directed over here.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I will not be at all suprised if I am diagnosed with cirrosis after a blood test. I have been a heavy drinker for many years.

I know I ill have to give up or I will end up killing myself through self inflicted abuse.

I want to know what others have drunk instead of alcohol. I like to swig drinks rather that sip them, and I think my body rather expects that now.

I am not really a babe, but a 56 year old male. I know most, if not all the other posters are female, I hope you do not mind if I join you (I promise not to mansplain anything)

Welcome kid and book. This first step is the hardest.
Kid well done on 3 days. You do feel shit at first as your body withdraws from the alcohol. Staying dry is hard and some of the more successful Babes than I will have sage advice - talk to Venus and faire amongst others. But don't give up! 3 days is good.
Book male babes are very welcome. Some of us oldies will remember MIFLAW who was with us a while back. His name stood for Man I Feel Like a Woman!
If you like to swig, alcohol free beers might be a good call? Beck's blue for example. Or shandy to start with if you would rather reduce than go cold turkey?

Demented - thanks. Its hard to know how much of how crap I feel is viral and how much alcohol withdrawal. By this time on a Sunday I would have had at least one bottle of wine. I could probably get up and about now, but am staying in bed as the longer I can be poorly the longer I will resist. I have drunk 2 litres of lucazade today though!

Thing is I have to go to work tomorrow and am meeting a colleague for a drink after work. So my first test will be to order a soft drink rather than a large glass of chardonnay!

Kid Hello big well done on 3 days AF. I remember that in the begining I felt like crap too, but you're doing something amazing so keep at it
Book hi maybe J20's/Britvic 55's in the bottles could be good for swigging?

Is breathlessness a withdrawal symptom? I feel like I can't breath deeply enough? And chest a little tight, but no cough and don't get asthma.

Mostly awful head and so sleepy

Hi to all the newcomers!

We are going to need another thread in a minute. Mouse are you there?

Thank you, all, for your lovely welcome.

Alcohol has been such a large part of my life since I was about 16 (40 years). TBH I am suprised it has taken this long for my body to protest!

Ok, we are going to run out of space on this thread. I will try and do a new one with a link...Bear with..

D'argh!!! Have started a thread but can't do the link...Can anyone help. New thread is "Brave Babes boinging into Spring"

Brave Babes are boinging into Spring..Join us here!

By Jove, she did it! Well done ma, just in the nick of time. See you on the other side...