margie I hope you're OK. Would you like to be AF tonight with me? We can flip Friday the bird.
42 you have iron will. Respect.
lux you as well! I totally get the pride at drinking normally. It feels good to know you can look after yourself.
made well done on the interview, and thank you for your kind words. You are right about looking at the positives. I stopped at 2/3 bottle, didn't pour myself another, didn't move on to spirits (both things the WW was encouraging). I had a big glass of water and went to bed on time.
Five years ago, abstaining for three days of the week was my goal. Now it's my starting point. That perspective helps me not get too down on myself when I have a bad drinking night.
That may be part of the problem with Thursdays. My 'OK to drink' days used to be Thurs-Sun (though in fact, I often drank all the time and Thurs-Sun were just the days I felt less guilty about it). Thursday's got a residual 'start of the weekend' feel. Also I was so bloody tired yesterday, and the playdate was predictably hectic. I thought I'd conquered the cravings after a good rest at lunchtime, but then my dad rang wanting to arrange a visit and it just . . . tipped me that little bit over the edge.
I can deal with my dad (unlike my mum) but he is very difficult to talk to. He's the incarnation of 'alcohol fosters inertia'. His house (the house I grew up in) is squalid, he has almost no friends, his health is poor but he refuses to address it, he does very little all round apart from work. He's lonely, because he keeps everyone at arm's length by being superior and criticising everything, which makes him difficult to like. He's racist and misogynist.
He's always wanting to come and see us, which I understand, but when he's here he's equally as grumpy and superior as at home. He just doesn't seem to enjoy himself. And I feel this constant need from him, this loneliness and resentment, like there's something I should be doing for him but I'm not, and it drives me potty. Plus he insists on coming for at least two days because of the distance he has to travel, and for us that's two days that are killed stone dead. I don't have the heart to cut it down to any less than that because I know he's lonely and he's coming a long way, but I dread the visits.
So. Me drinking last night was not my dad's fault, but I know what the factors were. Not binge drinking when my dad is here is also going to be a huge challenge. 1. he'll binge drink, and 2. my frustration and boredom levels will be through the roof. I managed not to drink at all last time he visited, but it took superhuman levels of effort and on Day 2 I actually had to go up to my room for an hour and have a frustration cry.
This post is getting way too long so I'll go now. Good luck all AF babes, and everyone who's planning to moderate tonight!