Brave Babes - reconvene here!!!

[dementedma]

Hi all
We seem to have finished the last thread but no-one has done a new one. Don't get lost! Gather here until we can sort it out.

Dhs birthday and AF tonight. Day 1 of redesigning my life. I like that phrase. Dh is slumped on the sofa asleep "watching" football. He's only in his fifties but like an old man. So fucking boring!

ma I know that feeling!
Think drinking is my go to distraction from boredom and me feeling that life is sometimes a bit beige...

I hear you pickle. That is exactly my problem, then coupled with resentment that other people's life seems more exciting...So I might as well have a drink....

Yep, it's madness! Alcohol is clearly a depressant which makes things more beige not less, then there's the guilt.
I am only on day 3, and I know I need to stop, but despite kicking much worse addictions this one is proving hard.

Morning babes
Still mulling over the resentment thing
My bastard keyboard has decided to go all sticky and I can't get to the bits which have commas and full stops. Arrrgh!

Had an af night which was good since it was another five am start

Worked out how much money I saved by not drinking in Jan and the few af days in Feb and it was a shocking amount
I pretended that I buy expensive bottles which I don't just to see how much I could potentially save and it would certainly cover the many goodies which I claim to not be able to afford

I will not be drinking today and hope that I can keep this streak of af going for a bit
Dry Jan has made a big difference to me It's made me rethink some of my drinking habits

Morning all.
Just checking in. Had couple (large) wines Sun and Mon.
AF today and then onwards but ODAAT.
H has ended it. Says he cannot do it anymore.
By this he means discuss our problems and make the adjustments he agreed to.
Sad for what could have been.
But am not going to sink into drinks, going to focus on myself and DC in as mindful a way as I can.
Sorry for selfish post
Hope everyone has a good day

Morning All

42 not selfish at all

Guggs AF today with you babe x

I've been going over the 'should haves' 'could haves' 'would haves' and it's a brain fuck so I must stop !!!

Lux hope you're ok - took me nail varnish off last night so I don't look like a slut today

I've got a last day with a colleague who's leaving today. I boarder on hating this person - not like me at all but she has ground me down over the past 18 months and I can't stand the bitch. My mantra today is - only one more day to get through, be calm, it's nearly over. I just need to keep my gob shut!

Sweet hello lovely hope you're ok lovely x

And breathe, all will be fine, all will be fine......

Have a good day all x

42 babe be kind to yourself you're going through so much and concentrating on you and DC is the way forward. Try and give yourself a treat for yourself every day.

42 your situation sounds so difficult I don't know your story, but I'm guessing that being AF is a struggle so not drinking today, under those circumstances, is something to be very proud of. What's ODAAT?

pickle I also drink because I'm bored. It turns off the frustration of being stuck. Not that I am generally, but being a mum is bloody boring a lot of the time. I am sick of watching Room on the Broom and cleaning bogs. My recent slip was because my husband was ill and we'd been in the house all weekend with a toddler and I just felt like my brain would explode.

Spanna, thank you - it was tough with my mum but it's so much better now.

Lux my dad is a functioning alcoholic. One of the things that motivates me in combating the booze is not ending up like him. He's a walking exemplar of alcoholic behaviours (though he's not and never was violent). I recognise some of my own drinking behaviours in there. I don't want to be like that.

I'm so sorry about your family losses. We lost a friend last year and it was horrible, I can't begin to imagine what losing beloved family is like.

I am being a bit luxury and have ordered myself some Zumba clothes and booked a haircut on Saturday. Not drinking tonight. I have done 18/28 this month, reckon I can do better next time!

I wish they'd remove that 'labia glue for periods' headline from the 'in the news' sidebar. It's not a good collection of words.

Morning babes, 42 reading through this thread you've been through so much, and you are being so strong.

Really thinking day 4 today will be hard. DD has an after school activity so won't be home til 5.15.

My usual time is those couple of hours chilling at home after work but before the usual routine resumes...

Morning lovelies,
42 you are going through it, I wish you much strength through this horrible time.
Flora Labia glue makes me wince, although my OH might argue I already use it (sorry, sorry ) my interest in that department is zilch. ODAAT is one day at a time, simple but useful mantra.

I am hardly keep up with the thread, but am reading and wishing everyone well through the various struggles.

I just realised our Elf will be back soon.

Will try to catch up properly soon, but it whizzes by and soon be time for a new thread.

Trashy TV? Good TV? Hot chocolate? Treaty food? I know it's not great diet-wise but sometimes you need every weapon at your disposal.

Or if it helps being active you could get out cycling/jogging/gardening then follow it with a nice hot shower and the abovementioned treats. The endorphins help.

Or spend the time buying something nice for yourself online? Lots of the clothes shops do free returns for online shopping.

Or put on some really loud music and do some manic dancing?

Strong cravings usually only last half an hour or so. If you can power through that, flicking the WW the bird, it will just subside.

I find I need to fix on a reward very clearly quite early on in the day on bad days. A particular show I'm going to watch, what tea I'll drink. Then when the 'I deserve a break' feelings kick in, I have an image ready before the WW can slip in and plant her crappy temptations.

I hope some of that's useful. I am no expert but I know what it's like to dread your trigger time

X-post! Last one was for pickle.

lux

thanks for the translation!

Hey lovely ladies, just checking in, hope everyone's ok.

I'm officially out of the side car!! Took painkillers last night instead of wine and feel so much better (should say not just for the craic, I had the coil fitted and it hurt like hell... plus side no more babies for a bit) so I'm feeling fresh, blitzed the cleaning and I'm waiting for her ladyship to wake up so we can make outfits for the boys world book day.

Not sure how I'll cope tonight, have our mortgage thing tomorrow as our offer got accepted on a house. Trying not to get too excited in case everything falls through but could potentially not have to hear my neighbours having loud sex at 5 in the morning for much longer.

Trying to maintain that a bottle of wine is part of bunks for the boys or a nice light fitting, hopefully that works

Morning all,
Today is not going well, I've just had to take one of our much loved guinea pigs to the vet to be put to sleep :(
Not sure how DD is going to take the news, I am certainly not taking it well.

42 that sounds hard. I guess that the will it / won't it happen is exhausting too. There are lots of hands here ready for you to hold on the bus.

spanna just count down the minutes. Did you write 'fuck off' in her leaving card? 😀 Some people use work as a place to act out all their frustrations or weird power fantasies-give her a big cheery wave as she leaves.

That's really exciting that elf will be back soon-I'm very keen to find out what she has learned.

Right baby is awake.check in later

Grumpy sorry to hear that, our pets become so much part of the family don't they?

Flora really hope you get the mortgage offer, I think it's lovely when moving to have a few new bits and pieces, just think every £5 not spent on wine is a pack of new tea towels, every £10 is a scented candle (or whatever)

Right, must get on, good day babes.

flowery I think Lux's mortgage message was for you we are both floral.

Best of luck with the house purchase. Having good (or at least inaudible) neighbours makes a massive difference to your quality of life.

Our old neighbours used to play Bob Marley at 20,000 decibels and throw used nappies out of the back door rather than binning them. Now we have lovely neighbours who pop round for drinks and dote on our little daughter. I hope your meeting goes well!

thank you for your kind words babes.
guggs you're right, at least we know now. Even though am disappointed. Am also having the "did I wreck it?" thoughts....but I only asked him to actually do actions towards what we'd agreed.
He's protecting his addiction. He's immature.
I, on the other hand, am perfect

Guggs she's leaving on Friday - it's my last day working with the back stabbing bitch 😜 3pm can't come soon enough - yay!!!! There will be no leaving card from me

Thanks flora and lux. Just hope it all goes through, 3 dcs in a 2 bed is starting to get a bit much.

There's like 6 folk living in the flat upstairs and it's constant parties and annoying loud techno. They're European so have no manners or care for neighbours, my dad's the same and he's from Europe so it must be a there thing.

42 I just read your post, hope you're ok. Me and dh split cause of the same type of thing, he wasn't willing to make the changes I needed him to. We ended up lasting 6 months doing this and got back together so there's hope. I was the one that ended it in that case and went off the rails with booze. Just focus on yourself and the dcs self care is a must. Lux is my hero for the self care with masks etc. Big hugs though

Of course flowery with the house, my old eyes !

grumpy I'm really sorry about your guinea pig. It's awful having to make that call.

Flowery I've had similar neighbours in the past and the rage and frustration was beyond description. Unless someone's dealt with it before it's hard to explain how much it wears on you. Crossing my fingers and hoping you get the mortgage sorted and can be out of there soon.

42 I'm sorry about your situation. If he'd rather end things then follow through on what he promised then that's on him. I feel like it's impossible to negotiate with someone in that frame of mind

Lent tomorrow. Despite not being religious myself I still find it's ingrained in me from school. Wondering what to give up: all junk food? Just chocolate? My diet is rubbish. I don't want to aim too big in case I get overwhelmed and give up entirely, but on the other hand it has to be a bit of a challenge...

Hi carte instead of thinking of something as giving it up, how about spinning it to 'giving yourself the gift* of healthier eating or whatever. I'm a big fan of rethinking things in that way.