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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Brave Babes - reconvene here!!!

999 replies

dementedma · 31/01/2017 21:12

Hi all
We seem to have finished the last thread but no-one has done a new one. Don't get lost! Gather here until we can sort it out.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
ThoroughlyModernFlora · 25/02/2017 07:37

Morning! Friday's a tough day. Thinking of those of us who were in the sidecar yesterday and didn't want to be. Today is brand new!

Elba, I wonder if we're going to be in the same place on Sunday? Is your half at a seaside location?

I will likely be in the sidecar tonight, but I'm ok with it. We're visiting friends. It's not going to be a disastrous one because we'll all be getting an early night before heading off to support my husband in the aforementioned seaside half marathon on Sunday.

ma, thinking on it I actually know someone who looks like Mrs Perfect. She's a good friend and a lovely person. Tall, slim, blonde, pretty, well-turned-out, swanky tastes, great job, nice husband, huge fancy house. And a history of eating disorders and alcohol abuse. And an extended family that belongs in a soap opera. You wouldn't know unless you knew her well. I'm not sure anyone 'has it all' . . .

ThoroughlyModernFlora · 25/02/2017 07:49

pickle I so feel for you. I've been there and probably will be again.

The things that work for me:
Getting rid of crappy influences in my life. After decades of emotional abuse I cut off contact with my mother. A week after I did, I was suddenly able to have AF nights. It's not a quick fix, it's tough, but it has made a hell of a difference.

Exercise that I love. Not that I dread. Dance and yoga lift me mentally as well as physically. They make me happy. Plus classes are around my trigger time, 6pm.

Focusing on the good. Lovely sleep. Lowered anxiety. Trusting my own feelings. Energy.

Thinking about the thing that's going to happen after the time I want to drink. So, when my mind settles on 'I'm gagging for a glass of wine at 6', I consciously lift it and settle it on 'I'm going to dance class tomorrow morning and I'm going to feel great' instead. Lengthen the future.

You've probably heard all this before, apologies. But I wanted to hold out a hand.

ThoroughlyModernFlora · 25/02/2017 07:52

Though reading back, perhaps you mean 'What do I do right now', rather than long term. So not much help!

Anyway, hope you're ok this morning.

Margie32 · 25/02/2017 08:51

All very good advice Flora - I'm going to probably need to read that back tonight when the WW comes calling!

Pickle, most of us lost contact with our "off switch" a long time ago, if we ever had one, hence the reason that we're on this bus. You're not alone. I don't have the solution I'm afraid, I get myself into big drunken messes on a regular basis, but even just writing about it here helps me to move on and makes me want to get better.

Bottles, you ok? What triggered the drink?

Happy Saturday to all babes. Waves to Spanna, Ma, Lux, Dubh, Elba, Guggs, Venus, Fox, Joey, 42, Mouse and everyone else I've forgotten.

dementedma · 25/02/2017 09:03

Morning all. Weather vile here and today's thrilling plans include taking DD to the bus, taking shit to the dump, buying a tyre to replace the bald one ( after paying £182 yesterday for a repair to a broken what not), watching rugby then evening at friend's house. Living on the edge.

OP posts:
DavetheCat2001 · 25/02/2017 09:23

Morning guys..haven't posted for a bit.

Opened a bottle of prosecco we've had in our fridge since before Xmas, drank half of it and stopped myself. Feel like crap this morning.

Off to my first pilates class in a couple of hours. Wish I'd laid off the booze last night now so I didn't feel so unmotivated.

aliasjoey · 25/02/2017 11:44

Morning Babes! I think we ought to park the Bus up for a bit, as there are so many of us in the sidecar plus it's too windy to drive.

Inarightpickleandchutney · 25/02/2017 12:06

God I feel horrendous. Again.
Right! That's it!

I think enough is enough. I'm on the bus.

No ejector seat for me.

I resolve to post here every day before opening a bottle. If I write down beforehand surely I'll see how ridiculous I'm being!!!

ThoroughlyModernFlora · 25/02/2017 12:28
Inarightpickleandchutney · 25/02/2017 12:36
theansweris42 · 25/02/2017 13:00

hee. Well done pickle
Happy weekend all.
I'm on day 5 but it's really bcos DS1 is in a show with Beavers and we don't get home til 10, and then DS2 coughing all night needs looking after.
Still I feel calmer for a few days AF.
Although I now know these are real feelings and not just hangover feelings...
Hope all are okay Brew

LuxuryWoman2017 · 25/02/2017 16:38

Afternoon all lovely babes,
Hope everyone is well. Saturday evening approaches which is of course a tricky one for many. I have the most horrendous headache, so couldn't even contemplate alcohol, In fact I feel monstrously hungover which is extremely unfair as I haven't had anything to drink so Flora you can turn that racket down please and replace Dre with something soothing if you would.

Have a good evening, please know my quick post includes everybabe, and I know some are struggling right now. Do your best & remember wine solves fuck all Flowers

Oh, and I expect like me some of you read todays blog, only a few weeks ago I would have found it funny and nodded along (and she is a great writer, don't get me me wrong) but today...it kind of proves what I have recently realised about the 'booze is great' message that is everywhere.

Perhaps I'll start my own - 'Hurrah for tea!' whaddya reckon? Smile

dementedma · 25/02/2017 16:58

Hey lux and everyone. Well, I will be drinking tonight as am going to a friends for DVD,take away and booze then sleeping over. But I am formulating a plan which I intend to put in place next week and which I hope will work for me. Mostly low carb but not as rigid as the one on the thread as it just sets me up to fail. Going to start the Race for Life training again. Hearing that one of best friends has a recurrence of cancer for the THIRD fucking time has been one of the factors in my falling off the wagon, but it gives me a reason ( in a horrible way) to count my blessings and do something about my health.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 25/02/2017 17:17

Hello you loonie lot! I love the fact that we now have MrsPerfect on the bus to give us all something to make fun of aspire to Grin

Lux I saw this picture today and thought of you (hehe) and the rest of the luxury babes. Btw where is Ladame and her famous veg patch?

Also, quick shout out to Dubs, made and LaLa who've not been around for a while either.

What a motley crew we are. We rock!

Brave Babes - reconvene here!!!
guggenheim · 25/02/2017 19:34

Checking in and parking arse on board the bus- first af night in fecking ages. Have had some fever tree lemonade and looking forward to watching that nice young man in "taboo"

You lot have cheered me up and inspired me to stay away from the ww. Ds is flipping hard work but being hungover won't help any. I went to bed very early last night and got 9 + hours sleep.bliss.

Love to all x

Inarightpickleandchutney · 25/02/2017 20:01

So it's Saturday night and I'm still on the bus, trying to remember the hideous feeling of this morning

theansweris42 · 25/02/2017 20:17

I'm here too
AF tonight. Sitting with DS watching film, don't need booze...

guggenheim · 25/02/2017 20:22

We can share the smock of smug tomorrow if you like.: )

carteblah · 25/02/2017 20:58

Hey all. Thanks for the coffee recommendation, Flora! I'll give it a look. Absolutely wiped out over here- slept for a few hours in the afternoon and I still feel ready to conk out at any moment. Actually manged to eat a decent dinner for the first time in a while though, usually I end up just snacking on crisps and chocolate and having something really carby.

Hoping the grouchy stage will wear off soon. I'm sick of my own head right now. And I hope everyone's doing okay tonight.

Elba84 · 25/02/2017 21:03

Also AF tonight for the first time in ages.

Trying very hard not to totally freak out though. Having a wisdom tooth out next wednesday (been putting it off for way too long) and snapped half the bloody thing off this morning (on a fish finger Hmm). It's not too much more sore than it was but don't know if it will stay that way. There was already talk of possibly having to remove jaw bone to get it so think that will definitely be the case now.

Hopefully doing my half marathon tomorrow but have a horrible feeling I'm going to wake up in agony. And I'm a total wimp with teeth stuff (hence having got myself into this situation in the first place) Sad

theansweris42 · 25/02/2017 21:04

I wouldn't dare Smile

madein1995 · 25/02/2017 21:37

Argh, I feel like a kick in the arse for doing a disappearing act again! So sorry babes Smile Have had a rough few weeks/month - job wasn't at all what I expected, so busy and hard work, daily abuse and to top it off I was assaulted (not physically but held to a wall with a lit cigarette an inch from my face), boss is useless, have to go to court soon and I reckon defence will tear me apart. I've had to leave the job, and seriously it's a wonder I've not been sweating vodka the amount I've been going at it Blush

Enough of me! I hope everyone is ok, sorry for neglecting you all but back now (feel free to give me a slap with barry for disappearing again)

spanna41 · 25/02/2017 22:22

Hello you lovely looney lot!

Nuff love the pic, my leg hair isn't much shorter Blush another Lux I need to get into my self care Grin

42 good job, when you wake up you'll be on Day 6 very nearly a whole week. Yep the real feelings that we sink into the Pinot. Clear honest feelings can be very raw and hurtful and emotionally draining but I can assure you, you are much stronger than you may think you are. You've got alot going on and I don't think that you'll regret not picking up that first drink Smile

Ma have a fab time at your friends sound like a good evening. I have it on good authority that Mrs Perfect has a continuous bout of bacterial vaginosis, she hums Grin

Elba lovely one Smile hopefully you've dosed yourself up with painkillers, sorry to hear about your tooth, is it at the bottom? they are a bugger. Do your best honey, we'll all be waving the pompoms and cheering for you Flowers

Carte welcome, be kind to yourself, eat some lovely food, nice cooked breakfast in the morning, get in some treats, you'll feel so much better after some more sleep Smile

pickle hope you're doing ok, keep going, tomorrow is a new day, you'll wake up with no hangover and your day won't have that cloud of post alcohol haze Smile

Guggs Envy so much sleep. Well done for being AF tonight, you'll feel great tomorrow x

Flora ejector seats Shock how cool is that Grin Welcome to our lovely bus, you've come to the right place for support. We all 'get it' and a good majority of us have no 'off' button well I certainly don't

Margie me old mucker Grin I hope you're having a good weekend Smile I so got what you said recently about celebration drinking, happy drinking, sad drinking, it's sunny so let's have a drink, my family are the same there was always a reason to drink Sad I grew up with booze (mostly wine or fizz. My Dad mixed a 'mean' gin & tonic, I can taste it now Blush) in the background all of my life, then dived into the 'pub/club' culture, worked for 20 years in an industry where we entertained clients over a boozy lunch, it went on and on.....

I'm a much nicer person sober

spanna41 · 25/02/2017 22:28

Made sorry xpost took me so long to type my last one Grin Welcome back! Barrie is not to slap disappearing Babes Smile come and have a seat at the back I've got some green opal fruits stashed, ssshhhh don't tell Ma Hmm I'm so sorry to hear about that incident fuck you were lucky. Glad you made decision to leave, what are your plans now? Good to see you x

madein1995 · 25/02/2017 22:36

Thanks spanna ooh sweets, don't mind if I do Smile I'm back on the jobhunting and have two interviews next week Grin I also have a new haircut and have got it cut quite short - would post a pic but what with how threads have been ending up in the DM, I don't want to chance it - lovely as it is, I don't want to see my face in the nationals haha Smile One interview is with an agency but in refuges across my area (so what I really enjoy doing) and the other is for a job with the DWP

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