Brave Babes - reconvene here!!!

[dementedma]

Hi all
We seem to have finished the last thread but no-one has done a new one. Don't get lost! Gather here until we can sort it out.

Welcome to the bus Pickle - blurt away

Good luck Elf, this is the first day of the rest of your life x

Lux your influence is spreading. My 17 year old ds and his gf nicked borrowed the last two face bombs for some pampering yesterday

welcome pickle
Good luck elf

ma are you okay today?

sweets how are you doing? To answer your question, I'm not so concerned about the late-night munchies, especially since dubh said that Cornish Yarg was so much more refined than guzzling down a kebab. 😀

I always end up feeling guilty about going to bed late, and I'm knackered the next day. It's partly habit. I have insomnia, and sometimes feel it's better to stay up, and guarantee going straight to sleep. But my insomnia has improved, and I'm too old to mess about online surfing the internet.

Also, I think I've an addictive personality, I get sucked into watching YouTube or iPlayer. (Can't shut off the iPad because I use a hypnosis app to help me sleep.) There is a 'nighttime setting' but that just slightly fades the screen;, you can still watch 18 episodes of Nurse Jackie , a 1940s public information film on how to get yourself a husband, and several videos of giraffes giving birth.

I managed an early night yesterday, but slept badly (kept being woken by hiccups, and this morning DH wanted my foundation to cover a spot on his nose! Excuse me, that has been colour-matched to MY personal shade, it's not going to help conceal a bloody great boil!)

Tonight will be the test, can my willpower hold strong after a couple of glasses of wine? I think so, I've been on this Bus for 5 years and I know a trick or two!

Hungover this morning and deservedly so.
Am tired and pretty fed up with everything and I have the absolute rage with everything and everyone!

Ok, I definitely have some kind of addictive personality and having had loads of
Counselling over the years I think I know why, but I can't seem to get a handle on it. There's always something.

I gave up all the drugs I was taking for many years (I was a full on Coke addict), gave up smoking (I was a 20 a day,full time smoker) and was never bothered about drinking I could take it or leave it.

This last 12 months I have ended up having a bottle or so give or take at least 4-5 nights a week, increasing sharply over last 3 months.

So 9 months of maybe a glass or
Two, recently a bottle.

This has to stop and I've fought many battles with myself but this stuff is just so AVAILABLE. All the time. Drugs involved work to get, cigs were very expensive, wine is cheap and at the end
Of my road.

Any suggestions?

Thanks for the welcome it's lovely you've been so nice

It's like I always need to rebel in some way, and can't just let it go and do what's best for me.

Don't have the answers pickle but you are right. Booze is readily available and a very acceptable drug socially. I think k it's the hardest one to deal with.

Right ma what do you need? Cosy PJs and a face pack? A giant bar of Cadburys fruit n' nut? A smelly, hairy cat on your lap? Tell us and we'll sort it.

I cannot even tell you how much I would devour a fruit and nut if I had one right now!! Id inhale it!

Thanks joey
Had the wine, had the chocolate, had a row with the people on the bootcamp thread....
Tomorrow is another day.

Ok a self destruct mission tonight it seems. Surely if I know this then I have no excuse/can control it/should be fine. Don't get it. Might as well take a blade to my arm (done both in the past- similar effects on feelings), maybe I don't have alcohol issues just self harm ones???? Why drink when you don't want to otherwise. Either way its totally totally fucked up

Oh elba that's awful for you, how you feeling now?

Oh so many babes need help tonight...

Elba, don't do it...god you've come so far...you are wonderful and funny and lovely and sensitive and people love you and want you to be their kids' godmother. In RL and on this bus you mean so much to everyone. It is fucked up and we're all trying to get our heads around it but we're in this together and there are huge ups and downs. I get it, I really do. Wish I could just come over and hug you. Put down the drink and go to bed...please.

don't put yourself in harms way tonight, elba I love the sprinkles and don't mind hoovering up later!

morning all
elba I hope the blackness has lifted when you awake.
maybe drinking when you don't want to is a way of self harm, but whether or not, you are every day finding insights.
You are working hard at looking after yourself and learning to drink less.
There are days when you do better/don't drink and feel more positive. Days when you have a glass then stop and surprise yourself by it being doable.
Days when you give to others at work or to your friends lovely twinnies - who will grow up loving you and loving having YOU in their life.
When I feel low I genuinely think those in my life would be better off if I weren't here, when mood improves I know that's not true, because even though I am imperfect and have my struggles, they see much more my positives and they love me. It is the same for you.
sending love and light

ma hope you are OK.
can you try and do something you really enjoy today even for half an hour?
just write off the the diet breaking that has gone before.
I have to admit I smiled at you having a row with the bootcamp thread
do you know what the rage is about? is it hormonal?
are you trying to deal with the anger with choc and wine (like me)?
gah. it's so tricky. have a

welcome pickle sounds like you have already overcome a lot.
The spike in the last 3 months is interesting , does it go along with any life events?
I had a similar spike in Autumn after moving house/away from H. And I found this bus and I have support and help. You've found a GOOD place.
I was also a recreational drug user in the past. Booze IS readily available but those highs were different and we didn't care about the trouble taken to get it or the cost really - for me the effort was more but the effect was more too.
I too wish booze wasn't flaming 5 mins walk away and cheap - but it is and I am trying to work out ways of managing it anyway.
As for me, went out last night with moderate drinkers and I did the same, in bed for 1130 and slept til 5 and then (gasp) went back to sleep after a bit...
All good....but, but, but I kind of felt like it was only a quiet night and not so much fun.
That may or may not be to do with the number of drinks, bcos these are lovely friends with whom I can have fun anywhere any time of day. So. Confused as ever.
Happy Saturday babes. My DC are away with their Dad, I have booked to do an extra shift later and meantime will keep busy with untidy house (or watch telly )
Have a good day

Woooo hoooo Hello everyone

Elba I hope you're ok this morning? I second every Babe - you are a wonderful Babe who has been through so much. You are doing so so well - try and remember one year ago and your first post on here! You are an integral part of our bus and we want you to keep on riding with us
Your day with the twins sounded hectic but very rewarding. Your new bed needs you! Please be kind to yourself, you are very precious to all of us! What have you got planned for the weekend? It's so mild down here, not a bad day for a run?

I'm just back from Iceland - not there long enough (3 days 2 nights) didnt' see Northern Lights which is a shame but I love it there. Such a magical place - I've got the Iceland bug and intend to go back. Had a little pipe dream of moving there when my DDs are old enough for me to go. They're looking for artists in residence in several places - god I would love to go and live there for a year only 330,000 folk on the island, I mean how amazing is that?

Still sober, got a wedding reception this evening (sober dancing)
My lovely friend died a few weeks ago of inoperable throat cancer, third friend (all male) who's had throat cancer in the past few years - other 2 survived (one lost his voice box) - all through drinking quite a sobering thought!!!!

I'm busy organising my 50th party which I'm having on 1st April (my bday 30th March) - this will be my second sober birthday and my 2 year anniversary of soberdom (don't get me wrong I still smoke the odd joint now and again so I'm not completely without a vice)

Got to go to work for an hour in a bit.....

Quick hellos to you all - Ma Nuff Sweet Fox Margie Joey Guggs Beaches Baby Dub 42 Lux Pickles Orbrigada Elf Rural and all other Babes I've forgotten or who are lurking.

Have a good Saturday y'all

Morning all, sounds a rough night for a lot of us. Elba you hang in there my love, I can only echo what the others say.

I drank last night, a mistake and feel grim. Lesson learned I hope. Me and booze are false friends.

Will catch up properly later, need painkillers. Stupid me.

Lux you're not stupid at all you were dipping your toe into an old habit and today is a new day I recommend a fat coke and a bacon sandwich (unless you're a veggie!!)

For those of you struggling - remember no-one regrets not drinking, the benefits so outweigh the hangover. When you have a few days, weeks, months not drinking we all notice the difference. Your skin looks better, your sleep is better, you have a clearer head, you get more done, thinking is clearer, the list is endless.....

For any of you who had a drink last night - today is a new day, are you going to drink today? Please be kind to yourselves x

Thanks Spanna no drink for me today, will stock up on healthy AF drinks. Yes I dipped my toe but fell in. Not much booze really but perhaps my tolerance is lower.

You are so right about the benefits, so, so right.

But you didn't drown Lux, you jumped straight back out and on it

just found this bear? can we keep it Ma?

Oh Christ Spanna so sorry I didn't acknowledge your post properly, hungover selfishness.

I am so sorry about your friend (s), it's a dreadful disease, and as you say sobering.

I am 50 before too long, joint part in Iceland?! your trip sounds amazing.

I would like to stay home all days cuddling alas I have stuff to do and am going to a dinner party tonight which must be AF.

I am an adult, in control (aren't I?)

Have a good day everyone, I fancy a burger king but don't think that's a very 'luxury woman' kind of thing, hungry though!

Lux hope the hangover is fading- I'm with you on feeling grim! I also now fancy a Burger King...

Feel like crap today, unsurprisingly, and my back is really really sore (think I must sleep in weird positions when drunk). It's sunny, I need to run, I need to work on a presentation for work, and instead I'm lying about in pyjamas feeling pathetic. Bollocks. And yet another night with no recollection of going to bed. It's compulsive and stupid, and I'm really struggling to understand why I do it over and over again. It is self harm I think, but don't know how to stop it. Feel like I can control it more than I give myself credit for, which makes it all my own fault.

spanna so sorry to hear about your friend. It's scary what alcohol can do. Iceland sounds amazing though, a friend was there recently and the pictures looked stunning. Enjoy the wedding (and the sober dancing!)

42 hope you enjoyed your child free morning! I can so relate to that confusion over drinking.

margie how are you doing? Hope your ok

Anyway, thank you all as always for being so lovely, it really really helps. Have to go and eat, shower and get dressed- these things should not be such a bloody effort! Then attempt a bit of work, might do it from my bed though. Hopeing hangover fades enough to run later- haven't missed a run through drinking yet so don't want to start now.