Brave Babes - reconvene here!!!

[dementedma]

Hi all
We seem to have finished the last thread but no-one has done a new one. Don't get lost! Gather here until we can sort it out.

Sober your dog pics from yesterday only just showed up on my computer. What a gorgeous setting for a beautiful dog.

Sorry about your bad night sweet.
It's got to be ODaaT hasn't it? Contemplating the entire future is too massive.
I sleep awful with booze and awful without, Ta-daaa!
And more nightmares when AF. But feel a bit better in the morning with no booze.
Happy Tuesday all

Morning, everyone!

Had LOADS to drink last night, but it's ok. I'm nearly done. Woke up this morning with that horrible sinking feeling: "what did I do?" but all is ok. Funny how the whole shame thing is so tied into alcoholism... DH is getting in a tizzy with how to arrange babysitting for something on Friday and what to tell or not tell my Mum - I think he's embarassed.

Thing is, I called him on it this morning and said that though society at large tells us this is shameful, I am actually proud of myself - proud to admit to needing help and to be taking positive action. How is it shameful to decide that not taking a drug is a good idea? How is it embarassing to decide to stop poisoning yourself? Madness.

I do think our society has a warped attitude to addiction. I was reading something earlier (sorry I can't remember the source to give the attribution) about how alcohol is the only drug you have to justify stopping. That sums it up very nicely.

Have a fabulous day, one and all.

sweet that sounds awful. I didnt go to Uni but did an Access course a few years ago and I would never have had the balls to challenge a lecturer over any marks I received. How times have changed.
elf good luck from me also and it's great to see you so positive 👍
Hope you all have a great day and catch you all later

Morning all,
My mum and dad are coming today for a couple of nights to hang out (not really 'look after' these days) with the DC for half term.

I am enough in denial that I am planning to drink wine tonight, because 1. we always have wine with dinner when they come here, 2. I don't want to discuss drinking or not drinking, 3. I don't want any future discussion if next time we see them I am drinking wine.
That is totally screwed up, isn't it?
I've put some sparkling water in the fridge too.

Sweet I think Uni culture has changed a lot now that the students (or at least the parents) are the customer rather than the consumer :(

grumpy if you think you want to try and not drink whilst your parents are there, you can try a few things. Other people are generally not as obsessed with our drinking as we think they are

Let them have wine and start yourself off on a soft drink. You can get ready mixed alcohol free mocktails if that's your thing. Or just have cola or lime and soda.

If they ask why you're not drinking just say:

I don't fancy it right now, maybe later,
I'm really thirsty, going to have this first,
I've got the start of a headache,
etc.

Or if there is chance you might need to drive later, that would be another good one to use. Once they lose interest in your drinking, they won't be bothered.

If you do want to drink, another trick is to start off on soft drinks anyway and you'll be less likely to overdrink on alcohol. Hope you all have a lovely time together

Sober, the thing is, most of them don't have the balls to do it in person - it's a poorly worded email within seconds of marks being released (so I know they haven't read the feedback), and when invited to a tutorial - which they would have to do if they wanted to complain or ask for a remark - they never respond, much less turn up . Grumpy, don't even get me started on the way schools train them by teaching to the test (not teachers fault, even more than ours, their careers are determined by results) - so they arrive and are shocked when we a) don't give them the answer (coz there ain't one, it's a bloody debate!) and b) don't premark their work, and let them redo it until it gets the grade they 'want'.

I should add, this was only two students, (who happen to be friends), out of the hundreds of assignments I have marked so far this academic year.

But, when a student does get it . . . oh the joy - they rarely bother to tell anyone else though!

Elf, you are so, so, right. It shouldn't be shameful. But it so often is - as, Grumpy, your post demonstrates. I have exactly the same issue with my parents - particularly my dad. But Faire's advice is good.

Have a good day.

Really good session with the dog. We are going back on Sunday for a class. It feels good to be doing something proactive with him. And it makes such a difference to be working with someone who understands working dogs.

Great news sweet my dog is also a working dog if you want to pass on any tips particularly on how to tire her out

Fuck. Wine witch is back with a vengeance after me doing so well. Having a beer to tryand satisfy the cravings but that's going to screw with my low carbing.....

Anyone around ?

I'm here, busy day. Did you manage to kick the witch?

You've done so well laying off the wine and low carbing - couple more weeks you'll be Glamazing
House full of demanding kids has left me shattered.

I must go to bed now. Will catch up tomorrow.

ma you okay?

I'm sort of around, but not setting a very good example as I've had a couple of glasses... you want to join me in the sidecar?

You can start again today. Keep thinking about the 5lbs you don't want back.

I was just so tired last night.

Joey, did you get those highlights?

Sober the only way to tired SweetDog out is to make him use his brain, it's a very small and underused muscle . After an hour of being made to think yesterday he hardly moved all night. SO you need to train for what TisDog is bred for, even if you don't work him/her(?). Even more embarrassing than SweetDog's complete lack of discipline was:
Trainer: "Does he retrieve?"
Me: "Not with any enthusiasm, I've had to train for a year just to chase a ball"
Trainer: "OK we can work on hunting patterns instead, but let's just see what he makes of a hunting dummy."
Cue bastard SD acting the complete giddy goat over the dummy and performing a practically perfect retrieve and delivery. Git!

Another busy work day for me, then we are taking DS to the theatre tonight to see all of the Shakespeare deaths in one show! Even better, it's the theatre that sells the Fevertree bitter lemon - see, how grown up is that? looking forward to a soft drink.

So I won't be around much. Be nice to yourselves, it's difficult to be positive at this time of year, February can be grim, grey and doesn't have the sense of the new start that gets us through Jan. But Spring is on its way. Find a patch of snow drops, some daffodils in a sheltered spot if you're down south, and think positive thoughts about change and warmer days.

Morning.
After a terrible week since friend died, relationship almost breaking up (still could tbh) and a 1001 million other things I thought I'd pop in to say Hello.
63 days without drink too.
My OH had a really nasty go at me at a funeral on Friday for not drinking. I think he's desperately trying to validate his drinking problem he seems to have. But that's a whole other story in itself.

I haven't been able to get to the gym for 1 days either. I've been exhausted. Last Mondays news really knocked me.
Today is pay day so I shall be treating myself to a bottle of Moonbeam Library of Fragrance perfume oil from Boots.

{{{hugs}}} Mint.

Berating you for not drinking is a shitty thing to do on any day, but at a funeral? It is for you and no-one else to say how you mourn and what you put in your body.If he is seeing your sobriety as a criticism of his own drinking, you will probably have to brace yourself for more of the same.

63 days is a brilliant achievement. Enjoy your perfume oil, you deserve it.

Also sending {{{hugs}}} to Mint. I am at the strength of your OH's reaction to you keeping sober and healthy, especially when you're grieving for your friend. It speaks volumes about him, not you - but you know that. Sounds like you're having a really horrible time of it. Alcohol would make everything so much worse - your 63 days is fabulous!

I'm getting impatient . I can almost see myself sober, doing this, ENJOYING IT (fancy that!). Alcohol is a subtle thing. Although most people I know would be like, "you're not THAT bad..." etc etc, as on the surface I do a good impression of a grown up (I used to be v good at acting at school) it's just a facade. Inside I am a scared and grieving 14 year old in arrested development. I have so much more I want to do with my life. I'm sad that alcohol, the need to numb myself, has gradually taken away my writing and my artwork... I just can't be bothered. All the time. It's too much effort. Everything is too much effort. I'll do it tomorrow etc.

But no! I'll put down the drink and take up my pen and paintbrush. It's definitely the subtlety of alcoholism that got me. "Everyone" drinks (they don't, actually - two of my very best friends have never touched it) - you "need" a drink - you "deserve" a drink, "one won't hurt", "you're not THAT bad"...

Slowly, imperceptibly, being erased by it, bit by bit.

Well, I reckon I'm almost back. Bricking it a bit at the thought of detox but also so so excited! I read somewhere that being sober is quite a rebellious thing in our booze-soaked society, and I like that a lot.

Good for you elf great to read that post
Sending support mint.
I had a couple V&T last night, so drank but improving...ma hope you beat the WW, but if not, start again today.
Happy Wednesday all

ma how are you today?

sweets yes I got the highlights, they help a little to disguise the thinning but not completely. Hope you have fun at the theatre tonight!

I've been stuck in all day waiting for a furniture delivery (which still hasn't arrived) and am so bored... I've tidied up the airing cupboard, eaten a lot of toast and watched a dozen episodes of Nurse Jackie - I can totally get her, I mean apart from that I don't go around heroically saving lives.

Now I'm considering going AF for lent. When is lent? For that matter, when is Shrove Tuesday?

28th February is pancake day.
Hello by the way ☺ also stuck in with a poorly DD bored!

Thanks Bus Babes.
I went back to the gym today after 11 days. It was tough. Apparently I spend my life at the gym....30 mins a day when I'm on half days so really nothing to do with him. I actually went to the gym for 2 months before I actually told him. He's now said he's going to start a detox himself.

aliasjoey I hope that your delivery turned up. There's nothing more tedious than waiting in for deliveries.
UnwiseOldElf A rebel without a drink. I like it 😊

AF today. Just back from trip to local theatre to see Priscilla Queen of the Desert which was fun!

Mint hugs to you, but bloody well done on 63 days!!

Tonight I have had ONE drink! A tiny (approx 1/6th a bottle) glass of red. And no more. Was going to be af- I'm staying over at a friends tonight as I'm babysitting for them tomorrow. They very rarely drink, so often I sneak in booze when I'm here . They took me by surprise by offering me a drink when I arrived this evening, and the three of us shared half a bottle. Panicked me a bit as couldn't say no, and couldn't get out to buy any extra for 'after', but actually in the end decided to savour it and didn't have any major cravings for more (wouldn't of turned down a second glass though...). It must be progress of sorts as a year ago I would of had my 'stash' when everyone was in bed. That said if I'd known there would be wine offered I would of brought and probably drunk another bottle at least after... But the panic of not having enough didn't last, and wasn't as bad as I thought it would be if that makes any sense at all?

Anyway going to stop rambling and go to sleep. Tomorrow I have sole charge of six month old twins...wish me luck!