Just found out my wife has cheated on me.

[Glenoxo]

Hi all. I'm sorry for any breaches of etiquette, what with me being a man and all, but I've no idea where to go and no-one to turn to, so thought the anonymous masses might be able to offer me some advice.

It's 2.17am and I've just caught my wife cheating on me.

We have four children together (12, 10, 6 and 4), and have been together for 18 years since she was 17 and I was 18. Until two weeks ago I didn't know anything was wrong. Then it all changed.

When out for a date night with her she told me that she wasn't happy, that our marriage was failing and she thought we were on different paths. Over the next week we talked and talked and I discovered that she felt a bit neglected. I'm a school governor at two of our children's schools and had just become a parish councillor, and she felt that spending an evening or two a week out at meetings was too much. So the next day I resigned. I wasn't going to let that get in the way of our marriage.

Then I discovered that she has been talking increasingly wth a 20 year old guy at her work. She insisted that nothing had happened, but after lots of talk last night she realised that she had been effectively in an emotional affair with him. She had previously arranged to go out for a work party and stay at a friend's house overnight, before having a day of rest away from the children on Saturday. I asked her to think about everything we had and could have, and decide between him and us.

I admit it - I was suspicious, so when I noticed that one of her work party had posted that the evening had finished I did something I've never done in my life - I checked where her phone was. Using icloud I saw her phone was in a Premier Inn. It stayed there for an hour. I called and she claimed she was around her friend's house, several miles away. When I then asked why her phone was in a hotel she hung up.

She later messaged me to admit it. She says it's the first time it's happened, and that she needed to see if there was anything more to their relationship than an emotional connection.

I am devasted. I am heartbroken. I cannot breathe. I don't know how I am going to tell my children that their mother is leaving us. I can't picture a future without her in it. I can't get images of her with another man out of my head. I can't imagine how I am going to raise four children as a single father. I don't know where I'm going to get the money or the time.

I've never been so hurt. So alone. My world has collapsed, and I don't think I'm ever going to recover.

I need help. Please.

Well done Josephine on posting from beyond the grave

Well that's the first time I've heard widowerhood described as 'taking advantage of my situation and seeing other women'

I guess some folk just really can't let go 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I wonder how Glen is getting on. Sad thread.

Hi @Glenoxo,

It's been awhile, and this thread will be accessed by many more who are up all night typing in searches on cheating spouses while their kids sleep in the room next door. So on that note, if you wouldn't mind, please update us! We'd love to hear how you are doing and how your family is. I could sure use that knowledge right about now.

Carbon copy of my scenario.

She declined MC. Declined forgiveness. Denied and stalled everything.

Long story short she is balls deep in an affair.

Divorce her on the spot. She will lie at every opportunity.

There is nothing left to salvage. She now only wants your money. And custody.

Make a copy of everything especially doctors appointments, daycare, paying for clothes, photos of your time with sons etc. Document the whole lot.

Document, print, document, print

It is interesting how you seem to think that is all about you, it is not, it is all about her. It wouldn't matter who you were she would have cheated because she has become bored, she has liked the attention, having sex with someone new for a change, she is basically living her life and finding some excitement. She never was willing to commit to anyone as she was far too young to do that. I bet by now a year on that you have both moved on and that things have resolved themselves. Human nature is what it is and no-one is to blame for it or for how we are wired, we are born with a free will and we are all individuals. If she had been brought up with two parents that had been together forever then you'd of had more of a chance of her wanting the same out of life, but even then the forbidden fruit always tastes the best.

Hope things have improved for you - we all grow up eventually.

@Glenoxo it is the worst pain on earth.

Keep talking to us, you are surrounded by friends here

Zombie!

Sorry fella but it's time to forget her focus on the kids. Cheating is the ultimate form of disrespect and you deserve respect. This situation isn't your fault, no matter what excuses she throws at you or tries to gas light you, remember this is showing a dirty failure untrustworthy flaw in her character and you should take pride in the fact that you haven't failed her, she failed herself, her children and fail to be worthy of you. Now stand up be assertive put your shoulders back, tell her to leave, and you become the best you and get the woman you deserve not a lowlife.