Dating thread no 112, still searching for a valentine.....

[Lovemusic33]

Hope it's ok for me to start a new thread as the other is full, I have copied and pasted the rules.

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. *edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

If you want a date, just ask her out already, info! And that applies to all genders. None of this "men should do the chasing" nonsense. (sorry plenty!)

I have to agree with everyone else Info, you're over thinking this far too much just ask her out for coffee

Looks like you're asking her tonight info good luck!!

info you have to ask her out today. We can't wait til Thursday to find out her answer

So I sent a text this morning to MrPhd suggesting a time & place for our second date.
Just been on POF and he's on there. He seemed to be on there most of yesterday as well (ok so am I but I'm chatting to a friend)
Not looking good for my second date.

Okay will do! Don't want this appear to like I'm playing games or anything, it's more that I don't want to make the wrong move. I'm just scared of doing it wrong!

Info... your way will be the right way to the right woman

Exactly that chuckle!

So sorry to hear that Runnny

Go Info, Go Info - {{shakes pom poms}}

So what's a good message style for this?

Just to say like how do you think it's going or like hey do you fancy organising a date soon or maybe saying do you fancy having a phone call soon to chat a bit more or something?

Maybe if it takes this much thought it's just too far outside of natural to pursue. Weapons grade though.

My Tinder iron just said "maybe we can meet sometime?" Info, as simple as that will do!

Or "Are you free this weekend?". Stop overthinking!

I'm a nightmare for overthinking. Really bad.

So I asked if she fancied a phone call or organise a date. She said she was useless on the phone but we could meet up in person.

So I said well I suggested phone call because a lot of people like to get a better feel for someone first. She said she appreciated that.

This is good. However, I'm following the code of Bant at this stage. Until we actually meet up then this is nothing yet. Weapons grade though.

Ah, the Code of Bant.

I feel like a sensei

A single sensei, however. Possibly a monk.

Pin her down* and settle on a day and time and venue. Make it firm not wishy washy.

• not literally, until you establish she's into that sort of thing.

Ideally suggest somewhere towards her part of the world, so you're gentlemanly and willing to travel to see her, making life easier for her, and you're considerate. If you don't know the area, say you'd like to meet for a drink, you've heard (place you've googled) is okay, would that be okay?

Quick Info...!!! don't let her get away. She is keen. She agreed to meet you in preference to talking on the phone. That's really good.

Agreeing to travel to her is a top notch idea from Bant. My last date travelled for an hour to a pub literally five minutes from my home. He (eventually) received the aforementioned MB!

I am overinvesting in someone else's date because i can't have one of my own :(

Yeah I'd absolutely travel to her area, pardon the expression. I'd always want anyone to feel comfortable in their own turf in that situation. I think it's always the right thing to do.

Am also totally overinvested info! Can't wait to hear the news that date has been confirmed!

DO NOT ASK if you can travel to her area for a first date.

That will probably offend.

(Although.. You never know...)

Have not been able to read this for a few days and have missed so much! Looking forward to a long read later and some dating by proxy!
Info I had to google "weapons grade". Now I understand! Sounds like great progress.

It's certainly progress! Yeah weapons grade is pretty much the highest accolade. I guess we all want to date a weapons grade!!

I'll try and organise an actually time and date later.

Advice/opinions oh wise ones? Tinder match, messaged back and forth for one evening, whatsapp the next day, he asked me for a date and we agreed on Saturday evening. So pretty swift on his part which is fine but we've hardly chatted not on message and no mention of a phone call. And now today....nothing! Not heard from him at all in 24 hours, last messages were yesterday to arrange the date. This isn't enough for me and I'm not bowling along to meet someone i know nothing about. Also I feel this is laziness and lack of effort really, which doesn't bode well I need more communication than this. I know I could message him, I know I'm being stubborn and possibly petty but how would anyone else feel? Would you message? If he doesn't is it ok to bring up the lack of communication and not being happy with it or is that rude or needy?

Last- not sure if its a tinder thing but am having similar. Am meeting someone tomorrow who I have hardly chatted to after sorting date and whatsapp on Friday. Am just thinking sod it, meet up and see if there is anything there. If they can't be arsed after meeting you that's when I would be more bothered, but prior to meeting not that bothered

I am bothered though, because it takes me a lot of effort to get out on a date, sorting a sitter and stuff. I am fortunate to get a fair amount of messages and matches etc, and don't really want to waste one of my Saturday nights or date possibilities on someone who's style of communication probably doesn't match mine? Is it too much to expect to touch base with someone each day?