Dating thread no 112, still searching for a valentine.....

[Lovemusic33]

Hope it's ok for me to start a new thread as the other is full, I have copied and pasted the rules.

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. *edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

Ooh Baklava, that sounds very much like a relationship and he sounds lovely!! Mr31 and I are off on holiday in 2 weeks time - I'm not sure which of us is more excited

I have a coffee first date tomorrow with a tinder guy-eek! Think quite the look of this one. Will NOT overinvest, read too much in to messaging or enter into game playing this time round!!!

Update re the non kissing Mr Art. Just at the point when I was giving up on it at the weekend, we ended up going on a spur of the moment date Saturday night.
He was definitely touchy feely in the nigtclub, and fueled by alcohol I eventually went for it at the end of the night...it was worth the wait and I didn't leave his house until the following evening.
No MB though, taking it slow, but definite progress, butterflies and everything!
Here's hoping it continues to go well, am very OI now

MB?

Hey all can I join? Just dipped my toe back into OLD and I've met this lovely man. We've had four dates so far, get on amazingly and the sexual chemistry is unreal. Yet to actually DTD but I'm sure it won't be long. One thing that's bothering me is I noticed tonight that he's updated his pof profile, which suggests that he's still looking for other women. Is it too soon to bring up the exclusivity chat? And if I do how do I do it in a way that doesn't come across as needy? Sorry if this reads badly, I'm posting from my phone and the formatting is awful.

That's very exciting Mrs Fluff!

info - you've been on this thread for ages! MB = Mooseburgers!

Hi itcuddles

Good luck with coffee Plenty

Sounds v exciting buzz

I think we need a Mooseburger explanation at the top of the thread! I have almost said it in real life a few times - assuming everyone knows what it means. I would sound like a right weirdo if I did...

Ha! Info - watch out I might end up taking up your offer .
I'm getting nowhere fast. I'm trying to compose a polite text to MrPhd that basically says "Oi - what's happening about this 2nd date then?".
I'm beginning to think he just sends a "how are you" text to a bunch of women each day and then decides who he wants to reply to. Or maybe I'm getting too cynical.

Does anyone have chats on Pof or elsewhere with someone they know they'll never meet. Or is that just me? I have a guy who messages me every day but has admitted he's only looking for casual fun so doesn't want to meet me as he respects the fact that I don't want that. It's a shame because we have a good laugh about life and the joys of OD.

Good luck plenty - just enjoy the coffee and chat. Anything else is a bonus.

buzz that sounds more positive. Hope it gets better and better.

After hearing all the positive reports on here, I took the plunge and joined POF for two months! So far I've been very pleasantly surprised! Their algorithms are much better than those on match and have paired me with men who are over 6ft 2!

Chatting to 5 of them (although three are VERY hard work and not sure how much longer I will keep going! Think 15 messages and not once have they asked anything about me!) . Some hilarious responders though - had 2 lads claiming to be 51 but clearly only early 20s. Two claiming to be 51 (what IS it with that age?!!) but clearly well into their 60s!!

RunnyMummy I suspect that will happen to me too with a couple of the ones currently messaging.

Blobby I had that once too. A young man who was 25 but had his profile set to 43 because he likes older women... very open about it. But not really my thing. Too close to the age of my son! As for the ones who set their age younger...what are they thinking?

Runny, I think long term messaging can be really good. if they are fun and you are happy with it and it fills time then why not? An online friendship is a good thing, but try not to develop feelings or invest too much.

remember I'm happy with just messaging. I did ask him to meet me for a drink last Saturday but he said no, he was happy with just messaging as well.

Blobby have you paid for 2mths on Pof? I'm wondering whether it's worth paying for a couple of months. But then again I messaged guys who said "yes" to meet me and mutual matches and got nothing.

runny yes I have paid - £38.50 I think. I figure that within 2 months I will either be having a whale of a time or have written it off and under £40 is a lot easier to write off than £60 (match) or £80/90 (elite singles)!! Or the FitSingles one where no-one seemed to be very fit . Thing is with POF that you have to pay for certain options and if the people you match with dont have those options it makes it more awkward.

remember my sons are 20 and 18 so get exactly what you mean!

Thanks Blobby let us know how you get on and whether you think it's worth it.

cuddles re the exclusivity chat, I did it after our second date! He said something about liking me, and I told him I liked him too, and said I wasn't really into 'the rules' and all that nonsense and would rather just be myself. I then said that the notion of 'multiple irons' wasn't really me, and that as I was invested in him it meant I wasn't talking to or dating anyone else - I also said that I didn't expect likewise or a declaration on his stance but I just wanted to say where I was at. And he came straight back to say that it wasn't him either, and he wasn't seeing anyone else. And that was that!

I guess if he doesn't respond likewise at least you know where you stand for the time being too, and knowing you're wanting exclusivity might give him the reassurance he needs to get off POF?

Cuddles I would be a bit annoyed that he's changing bits of his profile is this suggests he's trying to attract other women. Me and Mr MOD hid our profiles on POF after the 2nd date. I think if he's that into you he wouldn't be logging on to POF and adjusting his profile , I think you need to talk to him next time you see him.

So I have been trying to take a bit of a back seat. With Mr MOD as he always seems to be busy or tired. Today he messages saying he will try and make time to come and see me at the weekend, I told him not to worry too much as I am working (from home) but he insists that he's coming as he misses me and feels guilty because he has been so busy. I would rather he came over next week when I'm not on my period and I can have mooseburger

Well, my date was ok. Nice guy but very one sided conversation that left me feeling a bit drained to be honest. Bit too much talk about exes and sex drives etc too.So don't think there'll be a second. Never mind, glad hadn't spent too long before meeting

Hello! I'm an old timer in the dating threads, but been out of the dating game for the last 6 months for various reasons.

Dipping a toe back in, and had a Tinder iron ask me out this morning, so here goes.....

I love all the little terms, few more to learn I think!

I relented last night and messaged Weapons Grade first. She replies quick and there was chat but just concerned that she never messages first. It's hard to judge as some people like to chat a while and some people like to get a date quick.

I know she has a very busy day and is teaching a class tonight also. My plan is to contact her tonight to ask how that was. That shows I have remembered. Then on Weds I won't message and see if she contacts me. If she doesn't, I'll contact on Thurs to see if she wants to chat/date or just wants to bin it off.

Info, I would not message first as like a guy to chase a bit! So you may miss out if you wait for her. I think you should ask her out if she replies to your message. The way you write on here I think you can put it out there in a lovely no pressure way, good luck!

Info I second just asking her for a date. Why wait till Thursday?

Info I too would wait for the man to chase a bit - I would be desperate to to appear too keen. Think of it this way - what have you got to lose by asking her out? She could say no but she will probably say yes and it might lead to a MN wedding!! x

Info - By asking her now you can arrange something for this weekend. If you leave it till thursday you might find she is already busy.

Your hesitancy is shining through Info.... there's lots of analysing and second guessing going on here. Sometimes you have to stop thinking and start doing...

And I remember you saying no games info - do it!! Ask her out!!!

Yep info I'm in the ask her out camp! Text her tonight about her class and then when she replies ask for a date. I would never ask first, I'm old fashioned like that and I have wished a man would just show his interest and ask! Go for it info!!!