Dating thread no 112, still searching for a valentine.....

[Lovemusic33]

Hope it's ok for me to start a new thread as the other is full, I have copied and pasted the rules.

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. *edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

Ah, match.com, you vicious bugger.

My subscription expires in a few days, and yet suddenly, today, I end up recieving more 'favourites' and 'winks' than I have in the previous two months. This happened a couple of years ago, in the week before my subscription expired.

It's all down to their 'pull em back when they're about to leave' thing. Promote the profile front and centre, instead of hiding it down at the bottom of the page. Or the fake profiles they set up, and have employees messaging people pretending to be someone they're not.

All highly unethical and possibly fraudulent but par for the course. As soon I someone resubscribes they drop down to anonymity again

Irritating.

Definitely harsh tactics from Match but at least you're wise to it enough to make your own decision and not fall for that in itself.

Could do with some advice for later. I messaged the iron at lunchtime and she replied quickly. Nothing further but she's at work. My plan was to wait to see if she contacts me tonight. If she doesn't message me, I was gonna not message and just forget it. To me, after all my instigations so far, if she doesn't message me tonight then she isn't interested. Seem legit?

I don't want to drop into only the forced 'how was your day' message. Bit pointless.

Info I would be tempted to send her a message that was a statement, rather than a question, and see what she came back with after that- does she start a new topic or ask you a question? If she messaged you last, she might not want to send another one, thinking it is your turn?

Hi all... longtime lurker coming out to nail her colours to the mast. With all this dating lark I've found that the only rules I can follow are my own. Take a chance and not be afraid.of a knockback. Ive had plenty of oddballs, perverts and sociopaths 😯. However id be just as likely to meet ppl like that in real life. Ive just joined my.local meet-up. Gazillion of things to do.

Bloody Android App! Ive been chatting with a guy, one or two messages per day...I disabled my account for a bit, came back and he'd messaged me....anyway, we've moved onto whatsapp... lets hope he's normal!! Do any of you have any advice about managing ppl expectations re size? My photos are.under 1 year old but are of face. Rest of me is dreadful. I need to brazen it out don't I?

Bloody Android App! Ive been chatting with a guy, one or two messages per day...I disabled my account for a bit, came back and he'd messaged me....anyway, we've moved onto whatsapp... lets hope he's normal!! Do any of you have any advice about managing ppl expectations re size? My photos are.under 1 year old but are of face. Rest of me is dreadful. I need to brazen it out don't I?

I messaged her at lunch and I was the last to reply.

Hard to gauge with some people whether they are just like that, quiet or not. Not sure the best tactic, hang back and wait or try to keep it ticking along.

Instinctively did you mention anything about your body type in your profile?

I also make sure I have at least one full body shot. That way anyone that messages me l led what to expect t and I don't need to drop it in conversation.

If you haven't could you casually mention your body type in relation to an activity/clothes shopping etc.

Info I'd either ask her for a date or leave it for her to get in touch. She had been at work and if it's anything like mine it's pretty full on and I can't message a lot of the time.

Remember it's just texting, nothing more at the moment and she has a real life ticking along too.

I think we forget that sometimes. I know I do.

Okay here is the plan. Will leave it tonight to see if she messages. If she doesn't, I'll drop one tomorrow and try to fix up a date.

I tend to work well of obvious signals. Though I do miss the signs. A woman could sit on my face and I'd think she accidentally missed the chair. Sorry, bit naughty that.

My goodness info!! Naughty but nice. Chuckle I probably should, that's a good idea...ive had a few repeat dates so maybe I'm not totally horrific.

Chuckle my profile says overweight/curvy. That might explain the lack of likes translating to messages

info - remember also, you have no idea who this person is. She could be a middle aged man sitting in a warehouse in Nairobi, stringing people along to eventually get credit card details (okay, this is unlikely but..)

Remember, it's all bullshit until it happens. Don't overinvest.

She could be talking to five other men, she could be waiting for you to ask her out and wondering why you haven't. The only thing you can do is ask her, soon, and then make sure you keep messaging her if she says yes.

I've got a lunch date tomorrow with my date from last week. We'll see if the chemistry is better on date 2.

Feeling rubbish I don't think I'll get a date 4 and just after very good mooseburgers on date 3. I don't think it was that, think it was my situation that put him off.

It's so annoying I have dated recently, but didn't feel full emotional connection. Can't help activity I have booked with DCs and not flexible as have DCs lots.

Thinking of having a break...

Bant talks a lot of sense. I like Bant.

Bant is wise :)

Bant has had 34 views on match in the last 18 hours, compared to a dozen from the previous 3 days.

To extend my restaurant metaphor, match is like the restaurant that looks quite nice but the menu is sold out of everything, the daily specials are all vegetarian, and when you decide to leave after a bit, the manager rushes out and promises he can get you some steak. And shows you a picture of the steak. And he promises it's not horse.

But then you leave anyway, because it'll go back to being shite as soon as you sit down again.

Isn't that more an analogy than a metaphor?

I won't be dining at Match, no sir.

Technically it's a simile? Possibly.

I should ask one of my kids. They get taught much more of this stuff than I ever was in English classes.

Info I feel your frustration. I have a similar problem with MrPhd. I'm supposed to have a 2nd date with him at the end of this week. He's away on business so our first date was about 10days ago now.
He usually texts a quick 'How are you' each day. So I reply then I get nothing for the rest of the day. I'm always left wondering if I should send another text later or just leave him.
I'm thinking I will ask him tomorrow when date 2 is likely to be. Otherwise I feel I might be wasting my time.

Panicked and cancelled my first date. God I'm useless. I did that thing like when your 14 and you think your boyfriend is gonna finish it so u get in first. Oh dear.

You're!!!

Hello Mrs fluff!

I seem to be in a relationship. 6 weeks in, was asked very sweetly if he could start saying 'us'.

Have no further irons. My only problem is an old iron that I want to be friends with, that I asked if we could switch to friend mode. I'm not totally sure he gets what that means...

I don't want to be mean and ghost. I don't want to be blunt and upset him. We have only met twice in 3 months. I just feel mean about it...

bant yes, it's a simile. info any news on texting?

Sounds tricky with mr mod.. But its not summer yet, can you not just see what happens?

RunnyMummy sack him off and we'll go for a date together!