Is he being distant or am I just overthinking?

[shenry25]

I met a guy at the start of December and we were talking every night on the phone and we then met up for a date the next weekend. He ended up staying at mine for a few days and even met my mum and brother in that time. He then came down the day before Christmas eve to visit. After this his mum invited me for Boxing Day dinner with the family which was lovely and we all got on great. From Boxing Day until Monday past, we were with each other everyday and things were great. We are officially in a relationship (on Facebook too), have said I love you (he said it first), met each other's families, have them on Facebook and I'm so happy and he said he is too. He started acting distant on Monday before I left. He was meant to be coming down to mine for a few days but then he said he had work so he couldn't. He's also had an extremely sore back and ear for the last week too so I can understand his mood not being great. He text me on Tuesday afternoon to say he has been drifting in and out of sleep because of the painkillers and he hopes I'm well and he loves me. That's the last I've heard from him. He hasn't been as active on Facebook as much either. I've sent two whatsapp messages and a snapchat and neither have even been read. I had to change my number and the two whatsapp messages were just to tell him and then I text him to ask how he was. I also tried to ring him last night because he was using my Netflix and I couldn't watch anything while he was. I don't know why he's being like this and I know I'm probably overthinking but I just wanted someone else's opinion.

Cross post

Why? Why did you text him?

Sigh

Oh Shenry. I'm sorry you're going through this, it must be hell.

But he's not your boyfriend. He hasn't had any contact with you in a week. He's your ex.

He's also a turdnugget. You can do better

Oh dear god leave it!

He's not interested, take time out to think why you would put yourself in this position, learn from it and don't repeat it

Well. I just read the thread. Took a very long time
Op can you really not see what the rest of us can?
And that text!

Oh Op . You really need to gather your self respect love .

Oh dear. You really need to just leave this now honey, he obviously just too much of a coward to tell you how he is feeling.

I did, it's my last shot. After that, I'll go and get my stuff and accept it.

Was he even your boyfriend? Like officially? I've been seeing someone for two months but don't refer to him as my boyfriend as it is very early days still and we haven't had that discussion

Shenry he won't reply to that. You must know deep down that he just won't.
I'm sorry. I know this is awful for you but for goodness sake girl leave it now.
I think I'm from the same part of the world as you, would it help if I met you and gave you a shake. I'm joking about that.
Here have some

Fingers crossed for you

I don't think the text is that bad at all, you have a right to know what's going on, he's being a dick.

You deserve an answer. You've asked him outright, he knows where you're head it at. You've got it off your chest and should just leave him to it now. She sound like a a nice girl and can do better. These things happen sometimes, you sound like you've had a lucky escape. Don't beat yourself up, most of us have been swept along with romance at times... keep busy and look forward.

Don't go and get your stuff. Contact his mum and ask her to send it to you, because her son is too much of a coward to explain why he decided to disappear without a word.

I think that is the text you could have sent within a day or two when you knew something was up. Oh well you've done it now and I don't blame you for wanting answers. Only thing is he might respond and then he'll start messing you around again.

agree with summer, the text is not bad - understandable from his point of view as he knows that's how she is feeling. At least if OP gets no answer it will help her REALLY move forward as it will confirm what a dick/liar he is. Also if she is lucky, he will actually tell her straight that he wants to end it so she can get closure.
I'm just worried he'll try to make excuses and get away with it - please OP, keep a good distance for a long while if he starts dishing out excuses, he would need to prove himself seriously over time, despite you saying how you still care in your text.

I really hope he feels shitty reading that. Youre a good person op. Please forget him if you dont hear anything back. He isnt worth your care!!!

You need to realize you deserve better, OP. You do.

Forget him and focus on yourself.

xx

Arrgghh op why did you sent that! Your playing into his hands he most likely enjoys someone chasing after him. He's ignored you for almost a week its over. Some men like it when women play hard to get but then loss interest when they get them.

Oh my goodness!

That message is an open invitation for him to have sex with you again (as he knows your not leaving him) before he dumps you/does this again

So your end up sleeping with him again before your right back here

Shenly,
If you were my daughter I would drive you there to collect your stuff and also tell his Mum that her son has behaved like a dick. Just block him on Facebook, there's no excuse any more. Stop torturing yourself.

To all posters saying that declarations of love 'too soon' and living with parents are EEEEEEEVIL; my DH & I said 'I love you' after 5 days, and at that point he was 26 and just moved in with his parents. He's now a professor & we're happily married with DC. so not all warning signs...

Although this situation does sound bleak, because he sounds like a bellend. What 29 year old just doesn't call it off without ghosting like a twat?

Well you've sent it now so it's done. I just hope that if he doesn't answer it won't send you into an spiral of anxiety, and then you end up texting/calling trying to get an answer. I still think after him not contacting you for a week, ignoring your texts and calls etc that it's a mistake to insist on getting your clothes. But clearly you're set on doing it so I hope it doesn't end up being another painful experience if it doesn't go the way you want it to. I wish for you that you could take your power back and not let him call the shots; you're letting him make all the decisions, begging him to let you know what's going on, if you're still in a 'relationship', calling him your boyfriend. I wish for you that you could decide that you're walking away and make that decision for yourself instead of hoping/wishing/waiting for an answer. It's such a horrible position to be in. He's ignoring you, blanking you, disrespecting you, surely you can see that. Please don't let people treat you this way. You deserve so much more than begging for someone to notice and respond to you.

It's ok to say you love someone early on, sometimes you may just know it

But the OP spent a maximum of 14 days with this person (most of the time was talking via OLD)

And he has spent a week ignoring her

In some posts he is 33 in others he is 29

The OP doesn't know this person

Unbelievable how superior some people have come across on here with their advice, and I use that word loosely. OP has been honest and open with him, if he wants to ignore and play games it's him whose the dick and lacking in dignity. OP I hope there's a valid reason for his ghosting, but if not I hope you're able to move on quickly - he's not worth your time if he's happy to leave you this anxious for days. Good luck x

Penguins; this one is 29, the 33 year old is her ex that she made a thread about a few months ago.

but the rest of your post is on point.

I think tatree has a point.

When did honesty become so wrong? When did playing the game become so important?