OW

[namechangeforobviousreasonss]

Ok so I'm the other woman

Yes I know it's wrong, yes I've been cheated on in the past and yes I know I'm the awful person all women hate..I'm not looking for acceptance but I figured the amount of women on this forum surely someone else has been the OW? How did it turn out?

yeah... been the OW twice, but I did not know it. Soon as I found out it killed for me and the relationships ended.

If this really is the best you can do, then I can see why you'd want to try to make a go of it, no matter how inauspicious.

But please, do not let him see your DC again until he has left his wife and family and you have proof he has done so. It's seriously unfair to DC to introduce people until you know the relationship has a future. And right now you have zero reason to think this one has.

There us an innocent one in all of this. His wife.
She's probably up to her neck in nappies and night feeds while he's lining you up for the sex he's likely not getting at home, purely to boost his ego.
What a catch.

You've posted about this before op , i don't know what you get from your threads, your a disgrace and you know full well what you are doing is unfair for god sake the woman has a newborn, he is likely using you as an escape from his 'mundane' life. Get some self respect, you have no carnage from your actions and his actions would cause if it was to get out.

Get some self respect, you have no idea the carnage from your actions and his actions would cause if it was to get out.

I think they post these threads to get a kicking. Then, because they feel they've been 'punished,' they feel a bit more validated carrying on.

That and the drama.

I haven't ever posted about this before so clearly not the only one in this situation!
On the surface of things it's easy to throw abuse at me but like I said in my original post I'm not looking for acceptance I simply wanted to know how things turned out for other women that had done/experienced it.
I don't want anyone to hold my hand and tell me I'm not a bad person but equally I don't want a barrage of abuse I would have posted in AIBU for that!!

Stop feeding it, everyone

He has a newborn at home? I could cry for his poor DW. Part of me hopes she finds out so she realises what a shit she is married to so she can throw him out, but she is currently at her most vulnerable; probably feeling exhausted, so to find out about OW would be absolutely traumatic at what should be such a special time. You really think he is such a prize? Someone who could behave like this when his DW has just given birth is truly a nasty piece of work.

You're right as usual AF.

I'm so sad for that poor new mother. What a shower of shites she has in her life

OP you are a single parent right? I am too.

I totally get why this emotional affair feels good. Being a single parent is a really lonely situation at times. But honestly you deserve way more than this.

Please finish it before it goes any further. You will only end up getting really hurt x

Some harsh words here for the op. He's the cheater. Unfair?

At the end of the day, are you happy with your situation? If not then change it. Be prepared for it to change if he's caught too.

I hope things work out. Sometimes life is messy, there is no rulebook. X

I admit that as a 'left' wife, there is a vicarious satisfaction in me being able to make observations to an anonymous poster what I would never say to ex's ow in real life. Which is that your life will be shadowed by anxiety, guilt, feelings of second best, judgement by others, fearfulness for your future, ostracisation, and being permanently excluded from parts of your partner's history and life story.

Them's the breaks.

It ends very badly for someone. Can cause lasting damage. It may be you. It may be him. It will most certainly be his wife and child.

I was unknowingly the bloke is still a cheating shit bag now

Logically you need to think the guy is a proven liar and cheat so how do you think it will end ??

If I wanted drama I would have told his wife.
I'm simply a single mum that got rid of a husband the beat me in front of our DC that had a dear friend that chose to help me through it all then we developed feelings for each other. How and why I don't know because it certainly wasn't something I was looking for. Please note this has happened over time not weeks!!!

I don't understand why you want to know other OW's experiences? You could have half a dozen OW each posting a different experience or half a dozen posting similar. It doesn't mean yours will be the same.

Watching "Love Actually" on your own right now, are you OP ?

So am I

But my conscience is clear. Perhaps next year you could be that woman.

Well you have the chance to stop it going any further. Please don't be selfish here although you will have had a lucky escape if you do have the bottle to end it.

Bloody "Love Actually" ooh the film that proves it's really ok because we "love" each other. Never mind the blood bath of pain that's left behind the happy couple.

The innocent ones in all this is the wife and new born baby it's them I feel for

You and him are as bad as each other.

Affairs of any kind ( emotional/ shagging each other's brains out) are never ok, you can excuse and justify yourself all you like.

Affairs don't just "happen" you are adults you choose to let something happen, you choose to not stop contacting each other, you choose to treat his wife and child that way behind there backs. Everything is a choice!

I'm not watching (or ever seen) love actually
Maybe I was looking for validation for something?? A part of it?
I know I need to stop it I just don't want to because I know it will pain me...totally selfish but what part of this hasn't been

The things.
Not all men are unfaithful

You deserve better

Yes, it will get a lot harder to untangle yourself if you have sex with him. There is no thing like ( hot, filthy, forbidden fruit) sec to imprint someone on for psyche.

I hope you find the strength to walk away from the affection, attention, ego boost, and support, and find all those things from a man who can be properly yours.

If you two want to be together then he needs to have the decency to keep his pants on until he leaves her.

You need to think how would you feel?
She doesn't deserve this just like you didn't deserve to be treated badly..

I know 2 guys that have left their family's for a fling but after the lust has gone and it comes to real life they get depressed and realise they gave up their best friends for a quickie.

If this is really meant to be then it will be, just do the decent thing and wait.

I know a bloke who did this to his wife when she had a newborn. He didn't let the affair last long, and left to be with the OW when the baby was still a few weeks old.

They are still together and happy 10 years on. The wife has never got over it and has never really been the same since.

I don't know.....from the outside it looks shit, but who is anyone really to judge somebody else's life?