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Original poster

SAHM's...do you have 'job satisfaction'?

143 replies

DetentionGrrrl · 20/02/2007 14:07

I'm curious as to whether SAHM's enjoy their work, and get a thrill out of completing tasks etc.

DP said i was a very good wifey the other day because i'd made him lunch for work and ironed some shirts for him. I had a little warm feeling...then thought dear god, where's my feminist feeling gone?!

I don't get as much satisfaction from putting the dishwasher on as i did say, training new staff in my 'proper' job, but sometimes, i think it's not so bad being a wifey instead.

OP posts:
wartywarthog · 20/02/2007 14:10

sometimes. after a particularly good meal worthy of old gordon (i flatter myself) or the house looks good. but mostly i get bogged down in dirty nappies and washing.

Original poster
DetentionGrrrl · 20/02/2007 14:11

me too- i can't say i've ever lorded over a pile of clean socks and thought smugly 'I did that!'..perhaps if i was more house proud it would help.

OP posts:
ScottishThistle · 20/02/2007 14:12

Well I'm not a SAHM but a Nanny & I get a warm feeling when my Boss says I'm a star for all the things I do.

Being a SAHM is a very hard job which doesn't get enough praise in my opinion!

Original poster
DetentionGrrrl · 20/02/2007 14:15

i agree- i didn't appreciate how hard it was until i was on maternity. and i'm pretty lazy most days, but mentally it's harder than than my job was. i'm going back next month, but as i'm pregnant again i'll be there for 7mths then taking a year off.

OP posts:
bobsyouruncle · 20/02/2007 14:19

I'm a mainly SAHM but to be honest I don't think of my "work" as the housework, but rather as looking after dd and ds. If we've all had a good day that gives me satisfaction regardless of the state of the house!?

QueenEagle · 20/02/2007 14:19

In the early days, yes, I did. But that was 15 years ago and although I was happy being at home, I was fostering at the same time so gained immense satisfaction from that.

After 5 kids I gave up fostering and I have been a sahm for the last 3.5 years now with only a 15 hour per week evening job and tbh it made me realise what I was missing by not working more.

For that reason I am re-training for a full time job which starts next Monday so I will be able to give the other side in a couple of months' time! I have done this because being a sahm wasn't giving me that satisfaction any more; I do hope it doesn't turn out to be a case of the grass is greener.

NAB3 · 20/02/2007 14:20

Most of the time yes. I am doing the most important job and I do feel happy when all is well. My favourite thing is when I am in the kitchen cooking or baking and every one is just pottering about.

preggerspoppet · 20/02/2007 14:23

I loved my job as a paediatric nurse, with huge job satisfaction (miserable pay -separate issue)

but...

I get even more job satisfaction from being a sahm.

I love it so much I will be so sad when these days are over.

Aderyneryn · 20/02/2007 14:30

For me the two don't compare. Being a SAHM is just being at home with more time to do the mundane jobs. I don't see it as a job.

I might get a sense of calm every now and again amongst the chaos but I don't see it as a sense of achievment because I know the calm is not going to last.

Caring for the children is my job (at the moment) but I'm a fair-weather SAHM so I get better job satisfaction when the sun is shining and the days are warm

Can you tell I am looking forward to my return to WOTH employment this coming Autumn?

Callisto · 20/02/2007 14:36

I loathe all housework and gain no pleasure from doing it. I adore looking after DD and get immense satisfaction that I am giving her the best start in life. I work from home which does help the sanity levels, but what is more important than bringing up children? SAHM have the most important and responsible job in the world imo. Such a shame that so few people see it that way.

yomellamoHelly · 20/02/2007 14:38

When I manage to step back from the daily grind and see how happy the boys generally are and how they're growing then yes, but not when i'm in the thick of it generally. Weekends and holidays score particularly low because I can remember when they were all about having a break and lots of "me" time. In reality they're just like any other day.

Gobbledigook · 20/02/2007 14:41

Erm, well I have a job as well (freelance) so I get a degree of 'satisfaction', if you like, from that.

As a SAHM, I am truly holding this house and family together and so I guess I get satisfaction from knowing that I am organised enough to run the whole caboodle, deal with the finances and bills etc and know exactly what the kids need and when. I feel a sense of satisfaction from the happiness I see in my children, how bright they are etc and I know that at least some of that is down to me

It is satisfying - but I'm a right saddo.

madamez · 20/02/2007 14:42

Well there's a distinction between looking after kids and housework: doing stuff with children, playing with them, teaching them things, cuddling them, running around with them: that's valid important stuff (and the feeding and bumwiping is, of course, part of it). Scrubbing toilets and washing dishes is just shtwork that has to be done, and a lot of this happy housewife crap (oh, women are genetically much better at hanging up washing and wiping worktops...) is just men's way of making sure they don't have to do this sort of stuff. In fact, the whole history of human society could be said to boil down to "making sure the shtwork is someone else's job".

I do very little housework as it bores me. I work from home and outside the home and have a 2-year-old DS to look after, and I really don't give a toss about books all over the floor or dust on the windowledges: life's too short to care about it.

BarbieLovesKen · 20/02/2007 14:49

whispers...(no satisfaction here! definately not) Ive never considered myself a SAHM, but I suppose I was for the 5months after dd was born (was on maternity leave) This is nothing to do with dd, I have adored motherhood from day one but to be honest I was (whispers again) bored out of my brains!! it was lovely when dd and I spent time together, but she slept alot when she was that small... and when she was snoozing, I just didnt know what to do with myself!! I felt that there was only so much that I could clean and felt that I was becoming "out of touch" with everything.. with that I dreaded going back to work because, of course I had the guilt and hated leaving dd, bad mother etc.. but the best move ive ever made - feel that I actually get way more "quality" time with dd now. So no, definately no satisfaction for me there! but we're all different

BarbieLovesKen · 20/02/2007 15:04

Callisto, just read your post and am really insulted by it, here we go again... sahms are holier than thou - can people not just respect the fact that all families are different and what works for one wont for another.. bad form! there are women who have no choice but to work and feel immense guilt when returning - I hope one of these girls does not come across your post.

"I am giving her the best start in life. I work from home which does help the sanity levels, but what is more important than bringing up children? SAHM have the most important and responsible job in the world imo. Such a shame that so few people see it that way"

makes me sick...

Bucketsofdynomite · 20/02/2007 15:09

I love the satisfaction of watching my kids learn stuff and knowing that I taught them that (but I can't wait until eldest starts school this year!).
I love 'working outside the home' at toddler groups with my 'colleagues.'
I love pottering about with my kids.
I love finding ways to save us money as I'm in charge of finances.
I love doing voluntary work that would be a PITA if I was working (home-based admin and event management mostly.)
I don't really count housework as SAHMwork as I'd still be doing it if I wasn't a SAHM. I do the bits I enjoy (cooking, laundry, some cleaning) and DH does the tidying at the weekend because it bugs him more than me.

Twiglett · 20/02/2007 15:10

its not work though really is it

SmileysPeople · 20/02/2007 15:12

When I was a SAHM, I liked being there for the children, bur got no satisfaction from all the other jobs it entails: shopping, cooking, cleaning.

It was so repetitive without ever that job done feeling.
And mindlessly repetetive at that.

I remeber Dh coming home from work and the house being a mess and saying 'I have clened it up 3 times today' and irrationally resenting him because there was nothing to show for all my input.

I now work part time. It's the best for me. Still around alot for the kids. But I employ a cleaner. Yayyyyy!!! The best money I've ever spent.

What I'd really like is a housekeeper to tidy, shop, wash clothes and organise. But you can't have everything.

SmileysPeople · 20/02/2007 15:13

Ohh you norty Twiglett.

You bored and looking for fight??

Twiglett · 20/02/2007 15:15

the sentence I hate most in the whole wide world

"Oh you SAHMS you have the hardest job in the world"

.. um only if you make it hard by setting up hoops for yourself to jump through

(actually I'm thinking now I could think of worse sentences if I tried really hard like "I'm going to cut your head off with this chainsaw" but YKWIM)

SSShakeTheChi · 20/02/2007 15:15

No I don't get a thrill out of it. I do what housework has to be done but it doesn't give me a sense of satisfaction.

I think I'm one hell of a good mother though.

Mind you when I went out to work, I did it for the money not for some sense of satisfaction TBH.

Bucketsofdynomite · 20/02/2007 15:20

"its not work though really is it"

Does that count for nannies too?

fryalot · 20/02/2007 15:21

It's not work for me at the moment because we're having too much fun to call it work!

Aderyneryn · 20/02/2007 16:42

BarbieLovesKen - in all fairness - 5 month old babies do get older and more interesting as they become bigger children. I liked spending time with DD1 when she was around age 2-3 - when I stopped working part-time. Now I have another 'boring' 'needy' one (DD2 aged 1) and I would love to have some time with just DD1. It does make me laugh a bit when people compare their maternity leave of 6 months with being at home with children who are older. It's so different.

3sEnough · 20/02/2007 16:44

I like most days, I love some, loathe others but never have the Sunday night feeling - which I love too! I am really enjoying the SAHM bit but am now looking forward to getting back to a bit of paid employment - it's been almost 7 yrs after all!!