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Original poster

SAHM's...do you have 'job satisfaction'?

143 replies

DetentionGrrrl · 20/02/2007 14:07

I'm curious as to whether SAHM's enjoy their work, and get a thrill out of completing tasks etc.

DP said i was a very good wifey the other day because i'd made him lunch for work and ironed some shirts for him. I had a little warm feeling...then thought dear god, where's my feminist feeling gone?!

I don't get as much satisfaction from putting the dishwasher on as i did say, training new staff in my 'proper' job, but sometimes, i think it's not so bad being a wifey instead.

OP posts:

DonnyLass · 23/02/2007 13:43

And I know it ISNT just about ££££££ ... just that it is interesting to put tangible figures to the discussion IYKWIM...

Fodders · 23/02/2007 18:42

...have to share this with you re: ups and downs of SAHM'ing

after another truly rubbish night's (lack of sleep) dh finished the 0530 to 0730hours childcare shift by waking me this morning saying "[dd1] tells me you're going to make princess fairy cakes, fly a kite and make a dinosaur mask today".....

...and all I could think was...."I LOVE THIS JOB!!"

Needless to say we've managed to fit in none of these exciting things today and filled our day with much more mundane stuff....never mind, tomorrow's another day!

TwoIfBySea · 23/02/2007 20:51

Here is another level of satisfaction. When you go to a parents night and get a glowing report. Yes, dh said the sacrifices we made financially for me to stay-at-home (which weren't really as childcare cost would have left me with nothing anyway) were well worth it.

I like to say dts are responsible for their own good work but at the same time it has been me who was there for them, not someone I paid to do the job. I had been a nanny for a few years and knew what I would have missed had I gone to work, but believe me, being a nanny is a doddle compared to looking after your own.

I hope my years at home have given dts the self-esteem that security brings. Yes there were times where I have ended up feeling like having the screaming me-mes but I have enough interests of my own to outweigh any frustration, and now I can cook!

Plus Lily Allen was on that programme after Question Time last night saying children were depressed now because their mums weren't home for them.

wartywarthog · 23/02/2007 21:05

this thread has made me feel a lot better after a really crap day with sick dh and dd and 2 hours sleep last night.

off to bed.

TwoIfBySea · 23/02/2007 21:10

Hey you're not a parent until you have had vomit in the hair and poo under the fingernails and been peed on at least once(god help if it is at the same time!)

Works for both SAHMs and WOHMs that one!

commutingmum · 25/02/2007 16:35

Love having fun with the DC but find the day very l....o...n....g. Could be because DS has Autism so is very hard work. That said, feel great sense of satisfaction in teaching him to speak etc. Also HATE housework but can;t play with kids until it's done ( I know I know get a life oh anal one)

fortyplus · 25/02/2007 20:01

I loved being a full time sahm!

I notice Xenia hasn't posted on this thred - what a surprise! Perhaps I'll do it for her...

doormat · 25/02/2007 20:02

did have until it hitt 22 years
then went out and got a pt job as there is only so much cooking and cleaning a person can do

fortyplus · 25/02/2007 20:09

Xenia's comments from another thread...

...that dumbing down to mother of children level, where the brain apparently doesn't work and your interests are as dull as ditchwater. May be the Guardian did right to publish it as it will show other mothers what a foolish decision it can be to stay home with small children.

The SAHMs only think it's denigration because they feel so inadequate. My references here were to what she said in the article - about how she liked that level of things, the dealing day to day with the mundane etc. Fine, she likes it. How anyone with a brain can like it I will never know but there we are.

Why does any SAH parent find it intellectual satisfying to sopend the majority of the day repeating dull tasks (assuming most people don't have cleaners and nannies). I can see how it's fun to interact with a child and I loved my babies and really enjoyed seeing them grow, develop but not for more than an hour or two a day. So you wash a floor. Someone messes it up. You wash it again. Why is that not boring? I suppose you can develop techniques for doing it well or like nuns for sometimes clean for religious or contemplative reasons...

I don't know why people get bothered about my saying I can't understand why people don't find being a house wife/husband boring.

REALLY?

sophiewd · 25/02/2007 20:12

Yes Thank you, but she I am a work from home SAHM in the fact that I run a B&B she and ne have to cope with that but that is mainly in summer and I live having her at home

Sakura · 25/02/2007 23:12

That article is interesting fortyplus. All of the SAHMs on here seem to be intelligent highly educated by the way they write and put their points accross. I have a masters, but looking after DD is the most fascinating thing Ive ever done in my life. Human development is truly amazing, and im in awe of it every day. I could argue that answering a phone in the office all day at a desk would be mind-numbing in comparison.

Aloha · 25/02/2007 23:36

I'm sure Xenia thinks that every job comes with a free self-cleaning house. Because that's the only way that going out to work would mean there was no housework to be done.
I work from home while my ds is at school and I have an au pair come in twice a week until 3pm to look after my two year old so I can work. My dh also works from home. It's not always easy by any means. We share a lot of housework and a lot doesn't get done. I definitely think about it more than he does, but I think he would argue if I said I did a lot more. I do take on more responsibility for the children, and ds has mild special needs which still take up a huge amount of my time and emotional energy. I think if he was an average kid I'd have a lot more social life around school, but because he has Aspergers we aren't on the 'round for tea' circuit and I find that sad and isolating, tbh. But equally, the idea of having to find childcare for him makes my blood run cold. I couldn't do it.

decafskinnylatte · 26/02/2007 00:18

I stumbled upon this thread just as I was about to post my own on the same topic.

I still can't quite believe that I've finally done it but this week I handed in my resignation at work (was working a 4 day week as a solicitor in a city law firm). It wasn't planned(though I feel as though I've been talking about doing it forever) and it's going to be bl**dy tight financially but for so many of the reasons that you've listed below, I want to make this work.

I'm thrilled at the idea of spending more time with my kids (ds 4 and dd nearly 2). I've always felt that being a mum is the thing I do best but I appreciate that's easy for me to say when I haven't spent every waking hour of the past 4 years of my life with my children. I'm equally terrified at the prospect of being the full time cleaner and more so at the idea of not having my own income. However, my overall feeling is that I am confident that this will work because my heart has never truly been in my job and I can't think of a better job for me at this stage in my life and that of my kids than nurturing & educating them. I hope that this isn't a case of the grass is greener. I know I'm going to have to work hard at it. Time will tell...

Anyway, apologies for hijacking but I wanted to say a huge thank you to you all for your posts on this thread, positive & negative. I'm afraid I haven't answered the OP or added to the discussion but I have definitely benefitted from it. You've helped me to clarify all the reasons why I'm so excited about becoming a SAHM and to identify all the reasons that it scares the hell out of me. I am definitely going forth now with my eyes wide open! Thank you MN! Better than therapy.

Preggerspoppet - agree with your comment about the feelgood factor of this thread. You should definitely take some credit for this. I found your posts particularly encouraging. I hope that I turn out to be as good a SAHM as you sound!

tearinghairout · 26/02/2007 15:37

Have just read some of this, and want to say thanks to all you wise, witty, wonderful women (golly, the alliteration's working well today) for your thoughts. I agree with many of your posts. Gotta go, kids due home & can't be caught chatting on computer!

MakemineaGandT · 26/02/2007 18:08

Wow decaf - good for you and good luck! Welcome to the club!

fortyplus · 27/02/2007 08:57

Aloha - at the 'self cleaning house
at feeling isolated because of your son's condition

preggerspoppet · 28/02/2007 13:10

decaf -thats the nicest thing anyone on mn has ever said to me!

I'm so pleased for you, you sound as though you are really looking forward to sahm-ing. The very best of luck to you, I hope you love it and manage to embrace it and make it your own thing. the rewards I think will last a lifetime.....

have fun!

fortyplus · 28/02/2007 15:24

decafskinnylatte - I had a fabulous time as a full time sahm for 12 years.

I certainly wasn't some dreary housewife tied to the kitchen sink or on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor, as some people on mn seem to envisage as the lot of the sahm.

It can be brilliant, though it certainly doesn't suit everyone. I would never criticise those who genuinely prefer to work full time, but I do think it's sad when people are forced to work for financial reasons. As you say - things will be tight. They were for us, too, although I still kept my horse and we were able to take a holiday every year.

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