OH went out last night and came back at 9am this morning

[Sarahjane1994]

My OH went on a works do last night. He went out at 9pm yesterday and didn't come home till 9am this morning. I was whatsapping him from 6am asking where he was and he was reading the messages but not replying. He came home and has gone straight to bed. I had so much planned for today (we have a 1 year old and he has a 7 year old that I was taking care of all yesterday btw) and now he's sleeping off his hangover and won't speak to me. I opened his xmas present that I saved up for ages for and chucked it on the bed next to him and said 'merry christmas' but he didn't even look he just threw it on the floor.

His 7 year old has gone home now and my 1 year old is having a nap. I keep getting upset and I just know it's going to be the worst christmas ever.

I don't know how to react. It's not the first time he's done this. Ive gone mad at him before and it never works he still does it.
If I go out which is very rare he interrogates me about other men etc. I wouldn't dare stay out, he would literally be accusing me of all sorts now if I pulled a stunt like that.

What are your thoughts on this situation please?

Thanks and happy xmas eve x

There is no talking to a man like this, he is a dangerous, violent animal and a criminal (past restraining order)
This is a very dangerous time for you Sarah do call the police, ask them to escort you out.

No wonder his ex tried to keep her son away, she was protecting him.

Can you say where you are in the UK Sarah as I would willingly come and help you ((with a police escort)) and we can take it from there.

Op I really hope you're ok. Do you have any real life support? I honestly think you should call the police to remove him. Please stay safe

Please call the police. You owe it to your daughter to do so.

No question - call the police.
Tell them you're leaving your abusive partner (who has a record for violence) and he's now taken your daughter and you're scared for her and you.

Police Now.

OP we are sorry to hear you're having a tough time of it on Christmas Eve.

However with threads where MNers are suggesting coming to the aid of the OP, we really must advise all our members to be aware that not everyone on t'internet is who they say they are, and that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

All the best
MNHQ

Tell them about the abuse, strangulation attempts, pinned to the wall.

OP are you there? We are concerned.

YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet

???? Seriously confused by this.

Good luck and i hope you and your daughter have a very happy and safe christmas x

Mindtrope
Someone said they would assist her if she was local to them which is obviously a kind and maybe genuine gesture but i think they are warning her incase she gives away private information x

Phone your parents, I cannot believe they wouldn't come and get you straight away

Just wanted to add my hopes that you will call the Police and leave tonight.

I had a friend who went through similar with the hands on her throat and was almost killed. Please look after yourselves.

I have a freind who's husband does this about 3 times a year..she accepts it like it's normal...he's got not respect for her and calls her fat and a waste of space.married 14 yrs...he just does as he pleases,and she she puts up with it as she says she can't stop him....personally I think he's shagging around.but wtf do I know....I'd be saying to my dh ,if I was in yr shoes,once is a mistake twice and I pack your bags...but we all have different ideas of what we will put up with in a relationship xx

Is there anything practical any of us can do to help?

Ok,,,sorry I've only read page one..seems I've missed quite a bit,sorry if my advice is shit,I didn't have time to read the whole thread.....good luck xx

newbrummie Phone your parents, I cannot believe they wouldn't come and get you straight away

You have a very idealistic view of life.

Hope she's okay.

Sarah...At this moment in time do not worry about stuff...Stuff is replaceable... Get out...You can get the police to escort you back to collect stuff in the future.

If he won't let you have daughter call police...That is what I had to do to get my son and myself out the house.

Frustrating is not the word I would use, I am very worried for you. Please call th police before this escalates. If he has no plans to do anything wrong he will let you leave when the police arrive with no bother. Please take care.

Very much hoping OP is quiet because she's called 999 and is now leaving with police assistance.

Far better in a hotel room safe behind a locked door than at home with a violent man who controls her.

OP I hope you've managed to escape safely. Well done on having the courage and to listen to everyone's advice X

Call the police, get you and your daughter out safely.

I'm sorry things are in crisis for you.

I hope you have called the police and they have helped you get you and your daughter out and away from this thug of a man.

My warmest and happiest wishes are with you this Christmas sarahjane