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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Upset about Husband's Christmas present choice.

159 replies

Mumofboys123 · 22/12/2016 14:02

Hi all,

I know this is going to sound really ungrateful so I want to preface this by saying I am totally not an ungrateful person at all. I don't generally expect gifts or get upset over things such as this.

Basically my partner and I have had a really bad year. We've come close to splitting up because of his selfishness, porn problems and other issues.

Recently he started talking about this present he was going to get us to do together, something I would love. He also told my mum who was saying how amazing and thoughtful a gift it would be. A couple of days ago I opened up our computer and there were loads of tabs open looking at flights and hotels to Iceland, so I was really excited and touched he would be so thoughful.

He has always been very anti going to Iceland, despite it being one of my dream holiday destinations. I thought he was going to surprise me with this grand and totally unselfish gesture.

Anyway he text me earlier saying he had bought my present and I was so excited. Just now I logged into our joint email address and there was an email from a company saying he had bought some straighteners.

So now I know that Iceland isn't happening and instead he has bought me straighteners that I need because my previous ones are broken, but I can't help feeling gutted.

Like I said I am totally not a selfish person and I realise this post may come across as bratty. It's just that I built my expectation up to be getting something truly wonderful and thoughtful to make up for all the crap he's put us through as a couple this year and I cant help but feel gutted.

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 29/12/2016 18:10

No soup he said they are not going because of the car hire. It is a piss-poor excuse. He had no intention at all as car hire isnt an issue at all. They could have booked it by now if he had any intention.

LockedOutOfMN · 29/12/2016 18:40

I suggest the OP and her husband book the flights and hotel now in front of all the family, so he can make good on all of the big promises he's made to her and publicised to all of her family.

As has been made clear, the lack of credit card for a hire car is irrelevant as they don't need to hire a car.

zippey · 29/12/2016 23:47

Damselindestress - You are right, there will probably be more to this. I'm just wondering why the OP doesn't take initiative if she re\ally wants o go. Why wait for a gift from someone. He has indicated he will go, then take some initiative and book it!

Its almost 2017, she doesn't need a man to decide to go on holiday.

Giselaw · 30/12/2016 06:45

I'm wondering if people don't bother ready what the OP has expressed repeatedly, lack empathy or just spout their own agenda.

Yeah, I think OP is well aware she can travel on her own Hmm. Nothing to do with her tread, though.

birdybirdywoofwoof · 30/12/2016 08:47

Agree, Gise, the op, in the relationships section, talks about her terrible year, the partner has been a shit, there's been loads of problems and the relationship is hanging on by a thread. She wants to feel loved/respected, for once.

Answer: why don't you book the trip to Iceland? Voila!

zippey · 30/12/2016 09:17

Yes consult the partner as to when the best dates will be and book it yourself.

CakesRUs · 30/12/2016 09:24

Even if he looked at Iceland, shows he was being thoughtful and looking into the possibility of a trip and thinking of you, even if he ultimately decided against it.

ITCouldBeWorse · 30/12/2016 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalleighDoodle · 01/01/2017 11:43

How are things a week on op?

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