Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Anyone else happy to stay single forever

371 replies

Gorgeoussunset · 18/12/2016 13:20

I am divorced and have been single for 5 years now. I genuinely do not hate men and have many male friends and some family. But unlike some of my female friends I don't want to be in a relationship. I don't have any need for a man in my life, and don't see that changing. I'm a bit surprised to feel like this, but not regretful. Some of my friends claim to understand but then go on about meeting the right person etc. Wonder if anyone else feels this way?

OP posts:
Rockluvvindad · 22/12/2016 10:53

I have met one woman in the six years since my divorce who made me rethink my aversion to ever being married again. Sadly didn't work out due to a number of reasons...

I will happily stay single for the rest of my life. So long as I can occasionally meet someone in the same frame of mind for the physical aspects... For everything else I have friends who I can see and then go home afterwards to my place which is just how I like it.

And for all those ladies thinking that men are the bad guys in OLD, you should see it from the other side. Don't mean that to be contentious, but by it's nature we only tend to see one side ( unless we're bisexual ). For every fat, balding 50 plus man ( me I guess Grin ) there is a woman who blatantly wants a sugar daddy, or thinks a trout pout and using "v" instead of "th", or with a selfie in front of a pile of filthy washing all over the floor... OLD is a cess pit. Occasionally we get lucky and find someone that ticks out boxes, but ale or female, there will be a lot more that don't...

Newbrummie · 22/12/2016 10:53

I meet men who start talking about marriage on the 2nd date. Wtf. It's like they can't manage on their own

gemm36 · 22/12/2016 10:59

I am a forever single I think, was single for 10yrs after having DS 15 then got in to a very passionate but ugly relationship for 2 yrs been single again for 3 yrs. I do t mind it I like my own company and have plenty of things to occupy my time, now my son is getting older I do think maybe it would be nice to have someone, but am not actively seeking that someone. To be honest I can never imagine living with anyone or having to compromise the way I do things. Hmmmmm maybe why I'm single. Lol Hmm

1DAD2KIDS · 22/12/2016 11:21

Rockluvvindad fair point about there being a fair few dodgy catches on the female side on OLD. I have seen a fair few of the types you describe.

Newbrummie In my life I have dated a couple of women who have come on super strong and alluded to marriage and/or cohabitation pretty fast. I not sure it's a mater that men can cope alone. But some people do seem a little desperate to cling onto someone for dear life or for someone to look after them. Fair to say I hit the escape button pretty quick.

I think the same sort of people exist in both sexes on OLD. That's why it's important to filter the rubbish and play the long game for the right one.

I have long given up on old.

kaitlinktm · 22/12/2016 14:09

Yeah - I read that more divorced men marry again (and sooner) than women, but what about the women they marry - don't they count in the statistics?

Shiningexample · 22/12/2016 16:53

I read that more divorced men marry again (and sooner) than women, but what about the women they marry - don't they count in the statistics?
I was a bit confused about how that worksConfused

MercuryInRetrograde · 22/12/2016 18:15

I know, I don't understand that bit either? are they marrying women who've never been married before.

MercuryInRetrograde · 22/12/2016 18:18

How long before you give up on OLD?

I've met about 16 men in 18 months and even when I thought the connection, rapport and chemistry was there, and I think it was, they still don't follow it up.. the ones who wanted to see me again were bizarrely the ones where there had been no connection and no chemistry. I do not understand what men want and internet dating has taught me a lot about internet dating i guess but i'm none the wiser as to what men want. i don't know if men want that connection / emotional intimacy in the same way that women prioritise it.

Justaboy · 22/12/2016 18:22

newbrummie Well beg to differ, the couples alluded to were across a wide spectra some young, some with, sans children some children flown the nest. In a lot of instances the woman could easily support herself but it seems to me she in most all instances is happy least content where she is.

And on this forum were theirs a lot of relationship "grief" expressed there's quite a few that do say since we met all been well, been together happy with him/her for a number of years now so?.

MercuryInRetrograde · 22/12/2016 18:37

Newbrummie, i weed those needy types out before meeting them! They're definitely out there though. They want to cling to a passing raft. Frightening.

Allofaflumble · 22/12/2016 19:29

Can I reiterate, I have no problem with fat (cuddly), bald (prefer it actually) men! It is the delusion some older men have about their scale on the one to ten, particularly in body shape!

Newbrummie · 22/12/2016 19:35

Really you prefer fat bald men ? Well gee you've no competition from me (or my friends there) so you should have them lined up to take your pick from.
I had a check list as long as your arm I refused to deviate from and got 90% of it too

Allofaflumble · 22/12/2016 19:39

Well as I am no longer on the market I'll pass on that thanks. I have always preferred bald men since I saw Yul Brynner as a young child.

Newbrummie · 22/12/2016 19:41

Blimey !

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 22/12/2016 19:41

Been single 7 years. Tried to met men but they were all freaks or just rude. Now i dont bother.

Allofaflumble · 22/12/2016 19:41

Also my point was that the older, balder, unfit men do not want to be with older, slightly wrinkled women carrying some extra weight. They want a young fit bird.

Allofaflumble · 22/12/2016 19:43

And not all of course. Just a lot on OLD.

JeffreyNeedsAHobby · 22/12/2016 19:48

So much happier single! I did try a few dating sites but there's only so many dick picks, dates on the other side of the country and local guys who look like eggs with glasses on who want a 18yo half their age you can handle before you wonder if it is worth it.

Emotionally I'm so much more stable. I don't have the weird chats the other mum's do about how to keep looking young, how to keep 'hubby' interested, how annoying they are for XYZ. I can watch what I like, eat what I like, do what I like, go on holiday where I like and at what cost, spend money on things I like and dd needs without 'permission' and not be so seemingly paranoid as friends who have partners can get. I also don't seem to be having the midlife crisis about texting male friends to 'make me feel sexy again'!

Newbrummie · 22/12/2016 19:48

Your point is spot on, what I find amazing is how many of them are punching above their weight, the number of gorgeous young girls I see with shrek himself is quite mind blowing

Allofaflumble · 22/12/2016 19:52

eggs with glasses on lol. Very good Grin

Allofaflumble · 22/12/2016 19:53

Jeffrey you're really selling it. It is great to be single!

sixteenclumsyandshy · 22/12/2016 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MercuryInRetrograde · 22/12/2016 19:55

so true Allofaflumble I met a man on Sunday my own age. He was short and a bit overweight and his teeth were a bit goofy, I only say this to indicate that I don't think there would be a trail of women beating a path to his door..

We'd had a brilliant on line rapport and for once that carried over in to a real life meeting. We had a good night. Haven't heard from him since.

I'm not overweight. I'm attractive, I dress well in a less is more kind of way. Financially independent etc. I think that this of all of my most recent of all online meetings has confused me the most.

I'm more surprised than hurt. I thought he would be delighted to have met me! Who the hell is he holding out for?!

But hey, onwards. Koko.

Violetcharlotte · 22/12/2016 19:55

Hi OP, I can totally relate to this. Really glad I'm not the only one as I was starting to think maybe I'm just a bit odd ConfusedI left my violent and controlling ex P 12 years ago, since then have had a couple of relationships which have been a total waste of time and energy. I'm now in a place where I'm completely happy being just me and my two DS.

SingingSeal · 22/12/2016 19:58

So much happier single! I did try a few dating sites but there's only so many dick picks, dates on the other side of the country and local guys who look like eggs with glasses on who want a 18yo half their age you can handle before you wonder if it is worth it. Made me Grin Smile too.