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Original poster

I've been ghosted... it's made me feel so crap !

144 replies

hoolabaybee · 17/12/2016 10:44

A guy I went to school with got in touch about 6 weeks ago and we been chatting regularly ever since. He works away but we made plans to meet when he home Sunday and also xmas weekend, he had been ringing me everyday and was acting very eager to meet me.

On Wednesday night had a long lovely phone call and then Thursday nothing, just stopped texting me...no explanation nothing.

It's really put me down in the dumps and kind of ruined xmas..sad really as we not even met Sad

Self esteem rock bottom now..anyone else this happpened to?

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 17/12/2016 10:46

He could be busy? It has only been two days, a bit early to assume you have been 'ghosted'

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 17/12/2016 10:47

There will be lots; ghosting is pretty common. Don't blame yourself. There's a multitude of reasons why it happens but almost none are relating to you.

With no further info, I'd presume he just needed someone to talk to and now that you've filled that purpose, talking to you isn't a priority to him. Sad; but his loss. Don't let it ruin Christmas. Be sad and nope a bit today, if you need to, then onwards and upwards. You hadn't met him yet and he's not that important. Flowers

Crankycunt · 17/12/2016 10:49

Yeah it's happened to me, just last last week actually. Guy I've been seeing for three months, one day we were making plans, the next day nothing. It does hit your self esteem, but I've figured that if he's ok treating me like this he's not worth it.

Be glad you found out he's a cock this early. And that you didn't start a relationship with him.

scaryclown · 17/12/2016 10:49

have you trued to contact him? it could be a silent test

Original poster
hoolabaybee · 17/12/2016 10:55

Thanks for all your replies Smile

I've seen him on WhatsApp and fb so I know he been online but failed to answer my texts and believe me I've made it clear I'm not happy!! Just so puzzling as to why I'm not worth one text to say he changed his mind

OP posts:
Original poster
hoolabaybee · 17/12/2016 10:56

Scary that's mind messing tho and yeah probably better off not seeing someone like that.

I wasn't even sure I fancied him...it's just the silence and no closure that's eating me

OP posts:
Unrequitedlove · 17/12/2016 11:01

I hope there is a good explanation OP.
I've experienced this too and it has really put me off dating.. for you though I hope there is a more positive outcome Flowers

Bluntness100 · 17/12/2016 11:04

Sorry I'd also say two days isn't long, then to make it clear you're not happy is a bit much when you haven't met yet,

If he wasn't ghosting before and was getting round to calling you, then this may have had him back off, I think uou need to focus on you, you shouldn't be feeling this is going to ruin Xmas, so it means you were more invested than he was and more invested than you should have been at this stage.

Try to do something that will take your mind off it, see some friends, buy a treat for yourself, see a movie, whatever, but try to shake it off.💐

fallenempires · 17/12/2016 11:08

Yeah I've had this in the past & just before Xmas like you! I can almost guarantee that he will be back in touch,can't say when but he will be!
In your shoes I would make myself unavailable even if you're not & make him do some legwork.If he's genuine he will.An interested bloke will do everything possible to be with you.
This may seem like game playing but it is the only way to deal with this kind of behaviou.Remember you deserve much much more than this type of treatment.Smile

Christmasmice · 17/12/2016 11:10

Honestly after 2 days he might just have been busy. It is Christmas.
I was ghosted this summer and it was unbelievably painful. It surprised me how much. I couldn't shake wanting closure and some explanation, even though the reason it was done was irrelevant really.
Give yourself some space to feel hurt and confused and then move on. He's not worth more than that. Plenty of other fish in the sea.

fallenempires · 17/12/2016 11:14

Just seen your other post DO NOT CONTACT HIM!! I can fully appreciate that you're angry & upset but letting him know that just boosts his ego!

INeedNewShoes · 17/12/2016 11:22

Be thankful that you found out this early on that he's a twat.

There is nothing wrong with you. It is always the person who chooses to ghost who is deficient in something!

Overthinker2016 · 17/12/2016 11:27

Fuck him and fuck "closure". The silence speaks volumes - that's your closure.

Someone people just want someone to chat too/salve off loneliness/boost their ego. Looks like when it got closer to meeting you he has cooled it off.

Block!

mummydawn07 · 17/12/2016 11:34

I know it's often easier said than done, but just move on and forget about it, don't dwell on why he hasn't replied... what are the odds that once you've moved on and are happy getting on with your life and not contacting him, he will contact you again then you can do the ignoring

TheNaze73 · 17/12/2016 11:37

Just block him & move on.

Don't let a prick you've only been with for 6 weeks ruin Xmas, you're better than that

QuarterMileAtATime · 17/12/2016 11:40

It's cowardly - a reflection on him, not you Chocolate

Original poster
hoolabaybee · 17/12/2016 11:43

Thanks all of the posters...yeah I got lots to do with kids before xmas.

I not seen him since I was 15 n his pics on fb weren't doing it for me so could be blessing in disguise.

Onwards and upwards they say...

OP posts:
fallenempires · 17/12/2016 11:46

Fighting talk!Xmas Grin

Unrequitedlove · 17/12/2016 11:47

Hoola.. I think he'll be back in touch.. what will you do if he is?

hoddtastic · 17/12/2016 12:19

You seem really invested in this- I would try to be less externally validated if that's possible.

How can Xmas with your kids be ruined by someone you don't 'know' in real life (any more)?

Really- stop, this way lies madness!

Original poster
hoolabaybee · 17/12/2016 12:32

Unrequited I will enjoy blanking him too! There's no going back from it anyway, this is a guy who text me every morning n every night without fail in 6 weeks...suddenly just dropped off face of earth.....wanker!

OP posts:
Original poster
hoolabaybee · 17/12/2016 12:34

Should have said 'ruined my xmas' it will in no way affect my kids xmas

OP posts:
Alorsmum · 17/12/2016 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SausageSoda · 17/12/2016 12:43

What do you mean when you say you've made it clear you're not happy - what did you text? And how soon did you send it after he hadn't replied to your text on Thurs morn?

alazuli · 17/12/2016 12:57

I've been ghosted before. I think it's getting more and more common these days. The sense of rejection is brutal. The worst time was the last guy I was seeing. We dated for just over a month so it wasn't that serious but my mum was dying of cancer at the time. He knew that and he disappeared just as things were getting worse with her and I told him about it. F*cker.

I think ghosting allows men to believe that they're still the nice guy because technically they've not actually 'done' anything bad but it really is the most cowardly thing someone can do to you because it sends you off into a spiral of self despair.

It's hard but the only thing you can do is use all of your will power not to contact him again. His silence is your answer.

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