I've been ghosted... it's made me feel so crap !

[hoolabaybee]

A guy I went to school with got in touch about 6 weeks ago and we been chatting regularly ever since. He works away but we made plans to meet when he home Sunday and also xmas weekend, he had been ringing me everyday and was acting very eager to meet me.

On Wednesday night had a long lovely phone call and then Thursday nothing, just stopped texting me...no explanation nothing.

It's really put me down in the dumps and kind of ruined xmas..sad really as we not even met

Self esteem rock bottom now..anyone else this happpened to?

Block him on what's app - you can still see when he's online and it might make him realise he's been rude x

Three words.....

Bollocks to him.

Wanker.

If you were quoting someone, Wynter, it is helpful to make it obvious..

Something about this makes me think he is working out some kind of grudge, OP, is that a possibility, maybe going back to schooldays?

Seems like he wanted to get you all interested then let you down.

Alternatively, he's a player - they don't like being attached over Christmas and New Year.

Going She's not quoting, I think she's just having a pop at me

Oh the mumsnet cats have come out to play I see....

User we didn't know each other well at school and we both 44 so very long time ago.

Sorry you getting ragged into the slagging off wynter your posts have been more helpful than Godzilla or Cruella or whatever the name is !

Oh it's liviadrusilla..similar then

There was something he felt that he wasnt capable of communicating. It is v cowardly obviously.

It's okay OP - I understand why you are confused

Father Noel yeah very cowardly but as others have said he prob text me in a week or so acting all innocent

Guess you missed the sarcasm then drusilla ?

Not at all OP - I knew exactly how you meant it

Sounds like he has met someone else to be honest.

Sorry OP. He sounds like a coward.

AlazulI and Wynter sorry for the dicks that ghosted you. Both sad stories.
Hoola, I recently had exactly the same. Someone I had met a few ago, bumped into him again. Text solidly. Him texting before I had even woke up, missing me if we didn't text for a day, just telling me he can't wait ton spend an evening with me and i should get used to his sweet behavior and that he wasn'the going anywhere. Mid conversation he disappeared. Didn't read my follow up for a week then sent a weird spam message, still without reading my text, then nothing.
It is amazing the need for a reason. I am still thinking about it just over a month since last contact and keep trying to convince myself I should send one more text. Ghosting is cruel. It makes you doubt yourself. Please don't let this man consume your thoughts x

It's only been 2 days.. It's a very ott reaction to someone you haven't seen in years & wasn't sexually interested in anyway.

Blimey. What an overreaction. My sympathies lie with this guy I think. You do sound very full on given the circumstances. Please don't message him anymore - it looks needy

Anxious can't believe there so many knobs out there... has put me off dating now

Think ill ask the next man i date if he hasever ghosted somebody and see what he says.

Feel sorry for the guy??

Fact is, 2 days, 2 weeks or 2 bloody months, have some decency and message to say why you no longer want to contact that person anymore, you know....be a decent person.

It's nothing to do with needy & all that other crap, it's to do with taking your own time to message this person & they cut you off like you aren't worth another text!

OK, this has all got a bit silly. Please put away your self-righteous indignation! :) He has done NOTHING wrong. You'd hardly entered into a binding contract where he was legally bound to text you every day, just because he used to do that...

Let's go over the facts of this case.

1. You have not seen each other for 30 years;
2. Your first meet-up had yet to happen;
3. He texted you morning/evening;
4. You enjoyed a "lovely long" phone call on Wednesday. Please define "lovely long" - was it over an hour?
5. You texted him after that and he has read your texts but not replied.

All that's happened here is that you allowed YOURSELF to become emotionally invested in a near-stranger, due to becoming reliant on daily contact from him, before you'd actually met.

I'd say you encouraged this state of affairs, by investing time/energy into replying to him, and having a "lovely, long" call.

It's obviously not rational to become upset when a near-stranger (who you admit you didn't even find physically attractive) fails to respond to your texts, so I suspect you might actually be feeling humiliated as well. Did your texts and calls at any point become sexual?

He might very well have started to feel like you were becoming invested in this dalliance, and backed away because it was all starting to happen too fast. I KNOW he made it happen fast, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't get scared off.

Had you allowed to feel like you were actually standing on the brink of a real relationship, and now feel the rug has been pulled from under your feet, and you're back to square one, facing the reality of your situation?

If so, that could be a positive step for you. Don't minimise your upset under a veil of defiance and, "I never wanted him anyway!" bluster. Admit to yourself that you would actually really like to be in a relationship. And then take small, regular positive steps next year to make that goal come true. Join an online-dating site, find good reliable childcare, buy new date clothes, exercise and eat well, look for work in areas with loads of single men, ask your friends if they know anyone lovely and newly single, etc.

Don't contact this man again - he really owed you nothing. And look ahead to 2017 with a positive plan to make your own wishes happen.

I've had this done in the past and have realised that it doesn't matter who you are, what approach you've taken, what you look like, how long, how much you've seen them, some men just change their mind over night. It hurts like hell sometimes but if someone does that to you it just wouldn't be be right.

It's horrible when you expect contact and it stops dead but 2 days not long really and probably if you got annoyed it could have felt needy. I got really annoyed once with my partner as I text him and then nothing all day so when I had the chance I checked his phone and he had been having a convo with a female work colleague back and forth and ignored my text, not good at multi tasking . I couldn't tell him I had snooped but if he goes quiet again I will ask him who he's talking to! He gets really defensive if I grill him why he hasn't text so it's not worth it sometimes unless you want to argue and nag.i was livid but but let it go.I still date him but don't take much notice of text stuff. Maybe if he had a long convo with you he didn't have anything else to talk about and he was busy. At your stage you wouldn't expect daily texts so I think you presumed more than he did.

This 'ghosting' business is so weird. Suddenly just going no contact. Very weird.

You don't sound needy or crazy. He was clearly bombarding you with texts then suddenly stopped replying to you. It's weird & rude.

I do get the wanting to know why, but honestly, it's really better to just think 'Why? Because he's an emotionally stunted dickhead & I've had a lucky escape'.

Don't let him back in your life, no matter what he says. That way madness lies.

If I had been texting someone but not yet met, had messaged them on Wednesday, not messaged on Thursday, and then on Friday received a message saying "I'm not happy at being ignored" then I would not reply to them any more.

That person sounds too much like hard work.