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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Going to the school to see my girls

662 replies

Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 13:50

DD2 and DD3 ... The school have told me that they will have to inform ex I am going because they are aware the girls have been staying with him. Despite me having the court order to say they live with me. He's not even on their bloody birth certificates !
That can't be right surely ?
If he's there I'm just going to say hi and walk off ...

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 07/12/2016 15:50

Lostmysanity, go find the last thread that was posted when OP had enough and packed her children off.

I think given the replies, it's clear to see she's not listening to any advice given to her in regards to this horrible situation. Everybody is thinking of her children!

BubbleGumBubble · 07/12/2016 15:51

Are these reponses really helpful?

OP IDK any of the background but I suggest you contact a solicitor.

A solicitor was suggested by countless posters on page 1 Lost Hmm

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 07/12/2016 15:54

Are these reponses really helpful? hmm

OP IDK any of the background but I suggest you contact a solicitor.

Which many of the posters have said. It is the OP that doesn't want to!

zofranks · 07/12/2016 15:54

So I don't know how to look back and find threads but if this is a pattern off the OP then I feel so sorry for the poor children & maybe they are better off with the father (doesn't matter if he is on the birth cert or not imo) - I agree with everyone else though, you need to seek legal advice or actually speak to the father calmly and come to an agreement.

I think if I knew you personally I would be calling SS to protect the poor kids who seem to be being used in the middle of all of this

LostMySanityCanIBorrowYours · 07/12/2016 15:55

I know that Bubble, but do you honestly believe that OP is going to be focusing on the few helpful suggestions between all the vitriol?

How is it helpful to tell OP her life is a car crash? How is that going to help her children?

BubbleGumBubble · 07/12/2016 15:57

There are more than a few helpful posts and frankly it is not vittriol it is straight talking and truthful which maybe a deluded OP needs to hear.

This is a car crash she is messing up her children. Why beat around the bush? Who will that help? Sorry but sometimes the softly softly approach does not help.

Trifleorbust · 07/12/2016 15:58

LostMySanityCanIBorrowYours: I've been on threads where the only thing anyone has done is try to help this particular OP, and she just doesn't listen, unless it's to posters saying "Poor you, your ex sounds like a bastard and your kids sound awful!" Usually because they haven't come across her before. Unfortunately that leads people to get frustrated for her kids, who are the ones who suffer in all this.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 15:58

I've called ss and a solicitor myself

OP posts:
MrsPeelyWally · 07/12/2016 16:00

I think the OP just does what she wants, posts about it and ignore any advice given.

There's something far wrong going on here.

Maudlinmaud · 07/12/2016 16:00

Op where do your children want to live? With you or your ex? As they are teens they have a say in the matter.
Haven't read your other threads.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:01

MrsPeelyWally fuck me imagine that somebody doing as the please

OP posts:
Idodo · 07/12/2016 16:01

Are you on mumsnet at the school?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:02

Maudlinmaud - with him. I want contact and for them to know the door is open if they need it that's all.

OP posts:
MrsPeelyWally · 07/12/2016 16:02

MrsPeelyWally fuck me imagine that somebody doing as the please

Yes. Imagine that.

Not that its anything to do with your childrens lives being an absolute bloody misery.

HoopsandEverything · 07/12/2016 16:03

Pisssssedofff fuck me imagine that somebody doing as they please at a huge detriment to their children

Fuck me imagine that somebody is an asshole parent.

A real, live, asshole parent.

Sirzy · 07/12/2016 16:04

When you have children though most people realise you can't do what you please, you have to do what is needed to keep your children safe in a stable, loving home.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:04

I sound almost like a dad don't I ?

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 07/12/2016 16:04

Right so what have SS and your solicitor said?

LostMySanityCanIBorrowYours · 07/12/2016 16:05

Have SS offered you any support OP?

I'd also have a think about having a chat with your GP. Going on what other posters are saying your lifestyle appears very stressful and chaotic. The GP might, if nothing else, be able to sign post you towards some extra support.

Maudlinmaud · 07/12/2016 16:06

Well, start working with ss to arrange that in an amicable way. It can be done.
Cool it. I know you are under stress and that's easier said.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:06

Sirzy - I've done that for three and half years. On my own, he didn't see them for two, moved in with another women in Darwin when we lived in Perth, didn't put them on his visa and didn't pay child support - 5 hours away by air. So to have this twat tell me I cannot even see my girls is a bit galling I won't lie

OP posts:
OnionKnight · 07/12/2016 16:07

I sound almost like a dad don't I ?

WTF?

Hmm
Sirzy · 07/12/2016 16:08

So you have children who are teenagers and you think not putting yourself first for 3 years is some sort of achievement? Hmm

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:08

SparklyMagpie Said are they at risk, I told them what happened last time had them DD3 ended up in hospital sedated, they said if it happens again they will let me know, end of conversation.
Solicitor said file immidateky to have them returned. I'm not doing that

OP posts:
HoopsandEverything · 07/12/2016 16:08

OP, you're on EB too aren't you?