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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Going to the school to see my girls

662 replies

Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 13:50

DD2 and DD3 ... The school have told me that they will have to inform ex I am going because they are aware the girls have been staying with him. Despite me having the court order to say they live with me. He's not even on their bloody birth certificates !
That can't be right surely ?
If he's there I'm just going to say hi and walk off ...

OP posts:

LIZS · 07/12/2016 15:20

Oops sorry I asked aren't teenage girls meant to be a pita and look for boundaries and buttons to push!

BubbleGumBubble · 07/12/2016 15:20

Maybe it is best the children do stay with dad for a bit OP. Is there anyone in real life who can support you? Family? Friends?

BitchPeas · 07/12/2016 15:21

I remember your other thread. I get how frustrating this must be but surely the legal way is the only way in this situation?

Standingonmytippytoes · 07/12/2016 15:25

Those poor girls being shipped from pillar to post you getting a flat for the eldest still pissed they most feel so unwanted. Reminds me of the Christmas my mum kicked me and my brother out to my dads.
Didn't know what was going on. Horrible.

HoopsandEverything · 07/12/2016 15:28

If he's not on the birth certificate, and he has no parental rights, and your children contacted him without you knowing - isn't that kidnap?

Legally I think he should be returning the children to you.

But, you really need to think about what is best for your children - taking a negative family situation into their school environment is not fair on them at all. You need to go through appropriate adult channels - police (if I read correctly and my first paragraph is factually correct), or mediation / lawyers.

Be a grown up.

FourToTheFloor · 07/12/2016 15:29

I agree standing. The poor dc. You seem to love a bit of drama. Who has 3 dc and doesn't put the df on any of their birth certificates

Original poster

Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 15:32

Who doesn't inist on being on the birth certificates of their 3 children - does that give you an idea of how involved he's been up until now ?
DD1 has never been happier, has her own space now doesn't she

OP posts:

SparklyMagpie · 07/12/2016 15:32

You really need to speak to a solicitor and seek legal advice

I'm not sure what you're trying to achieve?

I second a hell of a lot of advice you've been given over threads. You can palm the children off on him and then play games like this, along with the fact your ex is playing stupid games with them too

There is no consistency for your children, I can't imagine how confused, scared and upset they are feeling.

You knew there was the biggest chance your ex would be going to pick them up at school today,considering he's having them all week, so why did you go down to the school knowing this?

You're really not doing you or your children ANY favours! You haves means to contact them on their phones,going to the school achieves nothing and it isn't their job to facilitate this.

I guess that now your ex is there this has opened up yet another load of unessessary drama which could have been avoided.

Leave it be and seek advice from your or a solicitor.

You're messing with your children's minds now, they won't know if they are coming or going or who's right and who's wrong.

I'm a single parent to a 16 month old, luckily me and his father get on quite well, if he'd have been acting the way you say your ex has/does, which I don't doubt, even in my time of need, I would not be giving him my son

I really am starting to believe it's not the children's best interest but the drama and shit surrounding it that you want

Graphista · 07/12/2016 15:35

Sounds like 4 dc?

Entirely possible the SCHOOL has taken legal advice or st least advice from the council and that's why they're taking the action they are.

Completely inappropriate behaviour, school (teachers have no real training or experience for this shit and in front of all their friends?!) is NOT the place to try and force a confrontation which is what it seems you are trying to do.

You've not given a good reason yet for not at least speaking to a lawyer, and frankly we've only your word that ss involvement isn't necessary - yet other posters who've read several of your threads are concerned for YOUR kids and THATS based on your side of things which will naturally be biased in your favour so the truth is likely even less edifying!

Leave them alone as you apparently agreed to do for this week, let things cool down, meanwhile

TALK TO YOUR LAWYER

Iamdobby63 · 07/12/2016 15:35

To be fair you said DD1 was better even prior to her having more space at home.

Did you see DD's?

HoopsandEverything · 07/12/2016 15:35

Pisssssedofff He's the one who is currently parenting the children.

You appear to be on the internet, ranting, and not taking the advice and guidance from many sensible posters, whilst simultaneously dragging your children into a horrible situation at their schools.

Original poster

Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 15:36

They haven't got their phones, do you not think going to the school was not the last resort. DD1 is at the same school and sees them. They've had their phones taken off them

OP posts:

BubbleGumBubble · 07/12/2016 15:36

OP I am failing to see why the hell you started this thread

Stop causing drama for your children. Seek proffessional advice and do what is right for them.

Trifleorbust · 07/12/2016 15:36

What do you actually want, OP? Why aren't you seeking legal advice? Do you want your kids home or not? You keep posting these bizarre threads where it's all about you and there is little focus on your children's welfare. No-one ever understands your aim and you don't seem to reach a point of greater clarity.

Iamdobby63 · 07/12/2016 15:39

So it's quite normal for you to be at school as your DD1 attends also?

Did you speak to them?

Have you received a letter from his solicitor stating he is seeking custody?

QuizteamBleakley · 07/12/2016 15:39

In the midst of all this drama much of which seems unnecessary are three (or 4) children, growing up thinking that this is how relationships are. As many other posters have said, more succinctly, think of your children, park the drama llama and get some legal advice.

Original poster

Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 15:39

Well DD1 is bloody thrilled now tbh. We were only in the country for DD2 and DD3 so she is of the opinion we should start packing

OP posts:

rightsofwomen · 07/12/2016 15:42

The children were 13, 12 and 5 in May 2016.
Searched old threads. It's a bit of a pickle really.

You need to sort yourself out OP. For yours and your children's sake.

BubbleGumBubble · 07/12/2016 15:42

Why are you messing up your children this wau Pissed ?

FourToTheFloor · 07/12/2016 15:43

Right. So you thought having 2 more dc would make it better. You are not doing your dc any favours here. Step back and grow the fuck up. So dc1 df is a waste of space (according to previous posts) and so is dc2-4. Take some responsibility and give those dc some security.

Your life sounds like a bloody car crash.

BubbleGumBubble · 07/12/2016 15:43

*way

HoopsandEverything · 07/12/2016 15:44

Your life sounds like a bloody car crash.

I'll raise you a train wreck.

Seriously PISSSSED do what the posters are suggesting.

SparklyMagpie · 07/12/2016 15:45

No school should NOT have been last resort! You should be getting advice from a solicitor!

You are creating unessessary drama by going to your children's school, they have enough going on being passed back and forth and being fed shit after shit by their father and you! School is the LAST place you should be turning up.

Do you not think it would be in their best interests to leave the be for the minute whilst you seek legal advice ?

You ( and your ex) are damaging them! All they know is all this crap being shown vile text messages back and forth from you both and being passed around more times than a present in pass the parcel.

STOP creating drama !!!!

You sent them to their dad! Read over what you said on your recent thread for the reasons why you did this!

You can't now decide once it's been arranged that the children will stay put for a week that you're not happy and need to check on them.

Atleast give your children a couple of days without another pile of shit thrown onto them to deal with.

This is giving me a headache,I actually don't know what you want,but I can see its more to do with the ex than your children !

CremeBrulee · 07/12/2016 15:47

OP you seem confused and unclear about what you want. Your actions are erratic and causing unnecessary levels of drama for your DC. Is this a pattern in your life? If so perhaps you should consider speaking to your doctor.

I agree with many other posters who feel sorry for your DCs.

LostMySanityCanIBorrowYours · 07/12/2016 15:47

Are these reponses really helpful?

OP IDK any of the background but I suggest you contact a solicitor.

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