Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating thread 111- just waiting...

999 replies

Evilwater · 06/12/2016 20:07

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good.
OP posts:
Crazycat1980 · 14/12/2016 07:25

Wow reading this a penny has finally dropped.

My (very damaging) relationship with Mr No Commitment was his transitional relationship. It all makes sense now.

I really don't want to do the same to Mr Tinder but I am feeling really comfortable with him and really like seeing him.

Real food for thought

BaklavaBalaclava · 14/12/2016 07:44

Does that make things better Crazycat? In my head, knowing that it was a timing issue, rather than anything about me, would make me feel easier about the whole thing... (but don't allow yurself to think that it means it could work - you can't really go back...)

If you're comfortbale and not causing him upset, why wouldn't you continue to see Mr Tinder?

Mrsfluff · 14/12/2016 08:23

Last , yay for date number 2!! He sounds very nice, so I hope it goes well.

LotsoNumbers · 14/12/2016 09:08

Joining in! Is it just me that doesn't get any matches on tinder anymore? I tried match and there was only one on there I would have met up with but I just didn't fancy him in person. I didn't have a sort of FWB who messages when he wants some but he is really very selfish in bed so I really don't want to go there again.

Not sure which site to try next... Maybe pof?

lastnicknamefree · 14/12/2016 09:10

Thanks mrs fluff the physical side should and could grow because his personality and character is super charming so I'm looking forward to seeing him again Friday to test out the theory!

LotsoNumbers · 14/12/2016 09:10

I think a problem is that the men are so intense...I just want to find someone who is good at sex, kind and caring that I can have fun with even if that is only short term...have no idea how to find that!

Shodan · 14/12/2016 09:59

The Intense Italian turned out to be the smelliest of smelly rats Grin

After an evening of messaging last night, I got one today saying things weren't too good with him- he has a contract he needs finance for, some friends have contributed, he 'only' needs £50000 more to secure the contract and if he doesn't get it he "feels like killing himself, baby".

Even without the whole money thing, I'd have blocked him for calling me baby Grin Grin

Mr Normal seems ok still- messaged last night (although very late).

Umpteen messages on PoF (the only site I'm on)- half of them just say 'hi' or something equally scintillating; the more interesting ones are rarely attractive to me physically and of those that have been, only one (Mr Normal) has been able to sustain a conversation for more than five messages. Interestingly he's the one that has suggested meeting up earlier than the others- I think that is a good idea, tbh.

My friend is keen for me to sign up to Date my Friend- is that any good, does anyone know?

BoxingHelena · 14/12/2016 13:18

the Sarah Beeny one ? When I looked appeared very empty in my area but it has been a long while things may have changed

no surprise there with "intense" (intense never good start, of any nationality, me-think)

I'm still in limbo

Arkkorox · 14/12/2016 13:46

boxing did you message him?

Arkkorox · 14/12/2016 13:48

Have arranged a date with Mr Tall after Christmas. I did some Facebook stalking last night and he seems relatively normal. I reckon he will be one for tmi relationship type status updates though so I might have to drop it into conversation how much I hate all that.

Crazycat1980 · 14/12/2016 13:53

Balaclava It doesn't make me feel any better about him not loving me at all or enough but I think it helps me to move on xx

BoxingHelena · 14/12/2016 14:12

Arkkorox not yet ......
what's a tmi relationship ? posting pictures of you too on his FB?

Crazycat1980 does it still hurt? aww - - - any new irons on the horizon ?

Not sure if I should see briefly the few I had nearly arranged first dates or just leave till after xmas - see who will be still around in 2017

Arkkorox · 14/12/2016 14:14

Boxing id message him if I were you!

I mean writing statuses like ' love my girlfriend so much' but multiple times a day. A bit vom inducing!

loobyloo1234 · 14/12/2016 14:14

LotsoNumbers Have you tried Bumble? It seems to be the site of choice on this thread lately Smile

BoxingHelena · 14/12/2016 14:46

I see, yuk

I'm officially a wimp - kill me now

Bant · 14/12/2016 15:24

Oh that's odd for a scam artist to actually meet someone in person.

Even if he's not a scammer though (and it does sound like he is) the contemplation of suicide is possibly a bit offputting. Baby.

Shodan · 14/12/2016 16:59

We didn't meet, Bant (if it's my pet scam artist you're talking about).

He did talk of all the friends who had given him money towards his scheme. I was tempted to ask for their numbers, y'know, in case they felt like chucking a few thou my way. My other thought was to come over all headmistress and tell how jolly lucky he was to have so many super friends.

In the end though I just blocked him.

Bant · 14/12/2016 17:19

Good plan Smile

Sorry I was getting Italians confused

LotsoNumbers · 14/12/2016 17:21

LotsoNumbers Have you tried Bumble? It seems to be the site of choice on this thread lately

I haven't I will give it a try!

BoxingHelena · 14/12/2016 17:58

there is another thread about tinder and people are raving about it
maybe maybe....... the way I understand it though you need FB to log on ?

rememberthetime · 14/12/2016 18:13

I use Bumble. yes you do need to use Facebook to sign up - but nothing shows up on your facebook feed. They use facebook to find your photos and info.

But I have found that the men I have spoken to (one of the go at the moment) have been really nice. No weird comments or "sexy" one liners.

I am not convinced all the men on it are genuine though. Every day there are about 20 more for me to choose from and they are too attractive...

I think men realise that women use it because they want to opt out of all that sexist crap. it makes them rethink their approach.

I have found a few people worth talking to. One who is proving to be a little more special...

Crazycat1980 · 14/12/2016 18:29

Boxing it still hurts a lot but I have been seeing Mr Tinder for about 5 weeks now and e is lovely.

BoxingHelena · 14/12/2016 18:53

remember .... this sounds interesting but what does it actually mean ? ...I think men realise that women use it because they want to opt out of all that sexist crap

genuineguy · 14/12/2016 19:25

On the other side of the fence...im on bumble, hardly any profiles and no matches..
I need to move.... Smile

motheroreily · 14/12/2016 21:23

Can anyone help me I am soooo clueless!
What's the difference between seeing someone, dating someone and being in a relationship?
And does it mean to hook up with someone? Is that just to meet them or is it to mooseburger them?

It's less than 10 years since I was single but I have no clue about these things, I think it I was clueless then too.