Dating thread 111- just waiting...

[Evilwater]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good.

Mr nice is still messaging me and being annoying.
I'm not really talking to anyone else, I have a date lined up for Sunday but not holding out much hope as he's a lot younger than me. POF seems to be dead, only seem to get messages from people that are too far away so no other dates lined up.

Morning everyone, just catching up with the posts over the weekend,
Sounds like there are lots of loons out there at the minute!

My iron I really liked has gone silent, we said we'd try and make coffee Sunday but I haven't heard anything from him since Saturday night, shame cause we got on great on the phone.

I've got lots more but he was my most promising.

I've got another one who ticks lots of boxes but he smokes and not sure I can live with that, anyone any experience?

I went out on a girls night Friday, that was fun but no chance of meeting anyone remotely suitable!

Good luck Bant I'm not sure anyone will live up to your ex unfortunately but I really hope you have a lovely date. Fingers crossed she is the step you need to be able to move on

How much younger lovemusic - there have been a fair few toyboys on these threads so don't write him off

Good luck Bant you have to get back on the horse at some point and you won't know if the time is right unless you give it a go.

Rememberthetime - I don't know how he could find me - I hope not.

On POF you are not allowed to report anyone for any reason other than their profile content, otherwise you get banned.

Do you think I should report him to the police? I've blocked him on there and hidden my profile. I have police friends so maybe I should contact them.

Hope all goes well with your date bant
lottie - I think we're all doomed if not replying to messages is something you can be taken to court for. What does he hope to achieve by that?
My bad boy is still texting me. His messages turned a little er.. raunchy quite early on but I'm ok with that up to a point. I suspect he's texting quite a few women like that. Think he would be a fun date but long term I don't think I could trust him.

Hopefully he's just posing and blustering - but you know I have three children one of whom is disabled and very vulnerable.

I hope so lottie. His messages look a bit crazy. You've done the right thing by blocking him but it's a bit scary.
Perhaps have a word with your police friend to see what they suggest.

This time I tried so hard to create a profile that would not attract freaks.

I may be wrong but it sounds like it just an arsehole trying to be funny and failing miserably (lottie)

yes how YOUNG are we talking about here? lovemusic

Bant gone missing, good sign ( so easy for them )

I hope so. But the messages he's sent me over the last few days are quite OTT

'I see you are avoiding me and yet I can see you are online'

'Why won't you reply to me? Im confused'

'What exactly are you doing'

was english his first language? maybe he thought we were having fun and it was meant to be ironic. Not making excuses for him Lottie, just trying to diffuse the unease feeling. I get that shit from older men who really do not get it into their own head that NO is always a no, period. Not some kind of 1950s game of playing hard to get.... Hence one more reason to keep away from old farts

YOU, even, not WE

lottie - I am in agreement that it sounds like a very poor attempt at humour. And he is clearly desperate

I was talking to someone online, and I didn't reply for a day, just because of work and going out in the evening. He started sending me abuse and saying things like 'you're obviously married' .... People really need to take a chill pill when it comes to how quickly people reply - within reason

My date for Sunday is 30 years old, I'm 35. I usually date older guys so feeling a bit nervous, he seems lovely, enjoys all the same things as me, he doesn't have children and he has a good job. We haven't chatted much, just a few messages and then arranged to meet, we are going to go for a walk near the coast so pretty relaxed.

Lottie, I would block him. He sounds crazy, and no he can't report you to the police for not answering his messages but if he kept messaging you and you don't answer your could report him for harassment

I want a date !
Cannot have one if I don't answer old irons and do not go back to swiping I guess

love 5 years is no biggie ( says the perv lurking at 15 yr younger - me )

love 5 years younger is nothing! I always seem to date down, usually between 5-8 years younger than me. Not intentionally, just the way it's worked out. I'm 45 but never attracted to men my own age and also most of the guys who message me seem to be a lot younger. mr13 is 39 so 6 years younger

Also to love if mr nice is still messaging and it's getting on your nerves just take longer to reply each time. I.e. Slow fade? Or you could tell him? Do you want to stay friends?

Lottie - it sounds to me like he is just having fun winding you up. he's clearly a twat.
I wouldn't worry too much. But if he keeps being a pest, speak to the site and see what can be done.

My Mr Hot and Cold has agreed to a second meeting. He suggested going out for a drink. I say hot and cold...but in your opinion wise internet ladies and gents...is contacting someone every day, sometimes with simple good morning, how's your day type messages and sometimes for a bit of sexual banter, really a sign of someone being cold or distant?

It is just the fact it is less often than when we first started. But he has consistently been there every day for 5 weeks. I am new to this and I suppose I don't understand what is the expectation for online friendships.

Hi, been lurking, tried a bit of old last summer and it was a disaster! Just thought I need to get back on it, met a nice chap for a date last week, meeting again this week. I feel I am very bad at seeing red flags so a little advice. If someone says they've not had a serious relationship for 10 years, ie no more than a couple of months. Is this a bad sign!? I think after my terrible partner choices in the past I might be a little paranoid. Other than that he seems nice. He's also not into that much communication, though again I might just be overthinking!!! Actually yes I am probably over thinking!!

I told mr nice this morning that I'm not ready for a relationship and I want to be friends, since then he has asked to come over to mine to watch a movie and has just sent me a rude message , I think I will do the 'slowly fade away' thing.

I don't get many younger men message me, last time I did OLD, I did go on one date with a younger man but it went no further. I always feel a bit weird about going younger as most of the men I have been out with have been around ten years older than me.

Trying, I am more paranoid this time too, I'm chatting to someone who is in their mid 40's, he's never been married, has never had kids and likes to brag about how much money he has, I'm thinking this is a huge red flag, why has he never settled down and had kids? Why does he feel the need to brag about his nice new house and how much he earns? I don't know why I'm talking to him really, probably just because I haven't got a queue of men waiting to talk to me?
I have had a couple men message me on POF today and one on another dating site, I haven't replied to any of them, one has young children (I would prefer someone with no children, or older children ), one looks like a geek but is probably lovely and the other lives too far away. Maybe I'm being too fussy but after my last expereance I think it's best to know what you are looking for and steer clear of the people that don't tick my boxes.

I have dated people that smoke, I don't like it so that's one thing I am ruling out this time.

I am struggling with men that are overweight, I never thought it bothered me but after meeting mr nice I suddenly decided that I would prefer someone who takes care of themselves and like to keep fit ( but not someone who pumps iron and has huge muscles ). So it seems I am being fussy, I am looking for my mr perfect, I maybe looking for a long time.

My guy is 14 years younger. 14. I've almost come to terms with it now. Almost.
Date the person. Not the number. This is my mantra....
I don't know, we get on great and have so much in common. He's a bit old for his age, and I'm a bit young for mine. I suppose we meet somewhere in the middle?
And I never, ever, "mammy" him. He's got a mammy, and it ain't me!

There's a lot to be said for the Younger Man

So after the demise of my relationship with mrmountainbike I have been chatting with a local guy, 3 miles ... Yes I've learnt my lesson regarding long distance relationships ... Well for now anyway! .. He seems really nice, we chatted on the phone last night and going on a date on Thursday ... Again learnt to get on with it ... no endless messages for months... Feels a bit wired and I've had to sit on my hands a bit so as not to message mrmountainbike. I think we'll call this new iron mrlocal.