Dating thread 111- just waiting...

[Evilwater]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good.

I'm not sure if I explained that too well but it was part of the dtd early or not/why do they sometimes go quiet after sex discussions.

I think you explained the analogy pretty well Roe I think it may have being someone called Red whom wrote it.

Ah. I prefer Kentucky fried chicken

Thanks Ciao and yes I think it was red well remembered. I hope everyone from the old threads has found a happy ending or at least a happy for now.

That makes a lot of sense rosetta I've certainly learnt over the years that often the anticipation can be really enjoyable in its own right and jumping to mooseburgers straight away denies both of you the excitement of that

Morning!
wing I hate it when people say distance is too much of an issue or deal breaker when everything else is good! An hour is nothing and he's being silly IMO when you had so much going for you and seemingly no other issues!
I'd back right away, actually don't message him at all am doing let him miss you. He'll be back I'm sure! But just give him space to allow him thinking and missing time.

Mooseburgers should stay! Its been such on these threads for ages and is a classic MN term if ever there was one

So date number 5 for me last night! I asked him face to face why he was still on POF he immediately showed me his laptop with it logged on to my profile, said he liked reading our initial messages and looking at my photos but showed me all notifications were turned off. I'm happy!

And damn it, we had awesome mooseburgers twice. With wine in the bath in between officially smitten and don't even care!!

Oh no remember, that's such a shame.

I have realised that I have been over investing in Mr Adventurer so am backing off a bit I think and re-reading the rules. It's a fine balance between sanity/insanity this OLD game!

Whoop Whoop last that is such good news! Well done for asking straight up and am so pleased the answer is a positive one.

Yay last this is sounding very positive indeed. You know it's got a real chance of being right when you can cut to the chase and just ask about things that bother you.

Yes! I'm feeling unusually optimistic about this one! And very lucky too

Hello, I'm tentatively dipping my toe back into OLD and this thread. Was here early last year last time and became slightly (in)famous for my exploits. Hello to everyone I know and others!

Anyway, things predictably went tits up with MTG and I'm back! Have been messaging someone for a couple of weeks now but he lives a long way away from me so not sure how that will work (need to think of a name for him...) . Meanwhile I'm firmly on the OI bench as I've not even met him yet but am very keen! Just doing tinder at the moment, but may expand my search when I have a bit more time/energy.

yy mooseburgers is dtd - and in particular making it to easy for the guy.

Hi waving good to "see" you back.

Well I'm going to try again. I was ghosted by Mr Socially Awkward in October after 4 months. I decided to give it a break until the new year when my thick skin was healed and honed. I'm not sure I'm there yet but sick of nights in alone so a few dates may be a good way to meet people at least.

Mr SA did get back in touch with a text after Xmas saying he had had a lot on! Two months of no contact, not even a quick text to explain he was busy
I would like to say I blocked and ignored, I didn't of course. I have arranged to meet him when he is next working close by. I realise that this comes from a place of loneliness, I'm not over invested this time. I'm just looking at it as someone I can safely go out with, have a laugh with and we do have a connection. The mooseburgers were also delicious but I won't be seeing it as anything other than fwb and will keep my dating options open. It he disappears again, then meh so be it.

Thank you all for your kind words. But there is an update...

Turns out the whatsapp one tick was due to him being out internet range for a while. He came back and was upset that I thought he would ever block me.

So we talked and seems that he likes me alot, but didn't get the spark (despite trying very hard). So he wanted to know if I would still be his friend. He understood if i couldn't do that.

I agreed that we had formed a close bond over the last few weeks, that we know each other and have shared our lives with each other and that I didn't want to lose that.

So the upshot is that we have agree we can be friends. That we can chat online, on the phone and meet up occasionally for movies or a drink.

I actually feel very relieved. I was going back and forth not knowing what he wanted, not knowing what I wanted. All I knew was that i really liked him an didn't want to lose that and it feels good knowing that we still have that connection.

We even talked about each of us looking for someone else and how that will work. We said that we would value each others opinions on that.

This feels good because i have always been close friends with men - until I met my husband who made me stop being friends with any men and i could never make friends with any.

This feels like me doing something to enhance my independence, not give it away.

But I still wouldn't have minded mooseburgers...

Thanks last, so you think I should just leave it all together? I've gone back on tinder, my friends encouraged me to, trying to stay positive about it all, but it's hard when we got on so well 😔

remember, I'm pleased that you've heard from him.

last, bath, wine and a double helping of mooseburgers!?! You go girl!!!

Meeting 'Mr nice' for coffee tomorrow, feeling really nervous, he doesn't seem pushy at all but we have chatted through whatapp almost non stop for 4 days, I'm worried that we have both built up a picture of what to expect when we meet and one of us or both of us will be disappointed. I feel like there's a lot of pressure to like him. So I'm trying not to get too excited, he's ok looking, he has a good job, he has friends and family, enjoyed a few of the things I enjoy and seems pretty normal.

I am still chatting to the other guy which I am meeting on Sunday, he's starting to drop hints of wanting a bit more than friends, he is younger than me which scares me a little.

Just logged onto POF and 'my nice' has been deleted (says in my inbox '** has been deleted), I am now worried, could this mean he has deleted his account or could it mean POF has deleted him for being a mad crazy person?

Hi Waving I'm still popping in. It didn't work out with Mr Professional in Oct, I then wrote to lots of potential irons on multiple sites (played the numbers game). Met two and seeing one since mid-Nov. I still don't trust it, but that's a lot to do with my general insecurities as we do like each other.

I hoped you were ok when I didn't see your name. Was MTG the one that caused heartache before as well as now? (So it's good he's off the scene?)

Love that will be a good sign, if he's removed himself?

I was wondering how you've being Waving lovely to hear all is going well:)

I messaged him and he sent me a long text explaining that he felt weird going in POF last night and seeing that I was online, he sad he hopes that we hit it off tomorrow as he has a good feeling about us, he then said if we don't then he will be taking a break from online dating. I just feel this is adding pressure for us to feel something/hit it off tomorrow. I have told him that I want things to move slow, that I'm looking for friendship and eventually a relationship. I don't want to get my hopes up, I don't want him to get his hopes up and even if we do hit it off I don't want to jump in ( would like to just date for a bit without any of the really serious stuff ).

Hi Lilac, Ciao and Rosetta. Lilac, yes, I was stupid enough to take MTG back after the summer shenanigans, despite everyone on here and in RL telling me not to. Anyway, it went wrong just before Christmas (he pulled the same stunt again) so here I am!

Lilac I'm sorry you were ghosted. MTG nearly did the same to me (but I pursued him for an explanation - that was a mistake!). My advice - steer clear of MrSA!

Lovemusic, I'm in a similar situation to you (both with the ex and the new person). My new guy seems very keen on me - I think be wary! Learn from the past.

remember do you think you can be friends with him? I'd find it difficult I think.

Waving, sorry about your ex being an ass too, yes, people on here warned me too as did my parents. This time I'm listening to you lot. Mr nice says he's not pressurising me and will let me lead the way at my pace, we are still meeting tomorrow but still a little wary.

Waving...you know what, I think I can. We are very similar people and both have trouble making friends. So we realise that we should not throw that away.

I have thought long and hard about whether he physically did anything for me and actually I just liked it - not loved it. I am happy to take the risk it might all go pear shaped...

Now dealing with my ex who is seeing someone new. but it has all kicked off as daughter has found out and is sad she wasn't told. He is chronically difficult and is blaming me...

lovemusic - you can't decide anything until you meet. he does sound a little OI though, so keep being very clear with him what you want. As i have learned, constant messaging does not necessarily make for a perfect date.

Hi waving, I was on here back in September and we were in virtually the same situation with our ex's, I stupidly took mine back to and then came to my senses and ended things in December.

Ok I need some tips on how to stop over investing, I've been OLD on and off since September, spoke to lots, had about 5 or 6 first dates but never felt any spark! Until Mr Biker, we were talking in September/October but nothing came of it but then we matched on tinder over Christmas so we've been messaging daily since then, we spoke on the phone the other night for 2 hours, we're meeting Saturday for coffee, but I already really like him, how do I not get my hopes up? It's the first time I've been so excited for a date!

Have been enjoying reading all the discussions about mooseburgers.

I'm finding this all quite strange and not sure whether or not to give up. I like my single life 99% of the time. So the two guys I was chatting to on POF, well one turned out to just be weird and a bit scary, so I dropped him. The other one who I really clicked with, said he would ring on Wednesday and I've heard nothing and no replies, so he's gone.

A friend suggested tinder so I tried that last night, first guy who spoke was just looking for sex, which I think is ok, but I don't want to meet someone for the first time with the sole intention of sex. It doesn't sit right with me. Another guy got chatting and he seemed quite nice. But it's all so much effort and I'm not sure it's worth it.