Dating thread 111- just waiting...

[Evilwater]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good.

Well I had a PoF date planned for yesterday , we had been texting for about a month , in the morning he started to question where and when we were meeting .we had already been over it before ,

I couldn't be bothered to argue so just told him to forget it , if he couldn't make the effort on the first date then what is the point .
I had rearranged my work to get day off , stressed out and dressed up for nothing .
I text at night once I had calmed down to say could we try again but was just ignored . I spent rest of the evening in tears . Can't believe how it has affected me . Totally gutted that it's over before it even began .
Was thinking of sending a new year text at midnight - am I wasting my time ? X

Brittany and Buyme I'm so sad to hear your stories but some guys just like the chase from a perverted sense of fun. And boredom. Happened to me millions of times but learnt. Apparently "textationship" is all too common. A rush from a text/Whatsapp. Dopamine high apparently! (Bant excluded of course. And Genuine sounds v lovely so good luck with your iron....)

I'm going back to old fashioned friends of friends and the ultimate horror of being "paired off". OLD not for me.

Happy New Year to all. glad to see back of 2016, but hope for us all to have many irons.

Buy me. Remember this is meant to be fun! And then if its not fun, stop!

It's a tricky night to be single, but we're here for you. You don't need to bother with someone that makes you feel stressed

Blinking heck. I would like to think that this time of year is bringing out the worst in people.

In what way lettuce?

I meant the people who had arranged to meet Brittany and Buyme.

Their loss lettuce mine has been texting all evening but I've ignored. In fact I'm having a fab night, I thought it would be crap, two DS 12 and 14 have been on Xbox all day, but I've put an 80s playlist on really loud and was dancing around the kitchen and they came and joined me we've had a great time dancing like loonies.

Brittany - you have the right attitude. Here's to a good 2017!

Need more advice.....I have to tell my teenage daughter that I have a date this week. It is only a movie.....but i don't want to lie to her. But this is the first time.
What on earth do I say?

remember is she too old for the ' meeting a friend' line?

Spent all evening texting Mr W

Just need to try and figure out when my twat of an ex can have dd so I can actually meet the poor guy lol

remember I tell my children I am metting a random man of the internet. They are following my OLD with interest...

My daughter is 11, I'm trying to model to her behaviour that I'd like her to do (so I'll say X didn't make me happy, so I'm not seeing him again, rather than 'I sent a needy text and he didn't reply'...)

Hello and happy new year.
Can I join please?
Just signed up to GSM.
I am old for OLD - 56. Divorced for 5 years not seen anyone in that time - marriage was to a complete shit - so wasn't in a hurry.
Need advice.
Am I too old?
Too short?
Too fat?
What do I write in my profile?
Oh, and I don't have any decent pictures - very few pictures at all, in fact.
Should I move to the Bear Hunt?
Please advise.
Thanks!

remember my DC are much younger so I tell them I'm going to dinner with a friend. They then deploy full interrogation tactics and I have to come up with the name of the friend and full details of the venue etc. They also test my recall of this the following morning which can be challenging!

baklava that did make me smile! And great you model that for your DD.8

Brittany and Buyme, I agree with Mumswallet, there is definitely a factor of men (and possibly women I've heard) that only like to message with promises of meeting, and then cancelling (happened to me: got dressed up, make up etc and then nothing......) . As others have said, I like to meet early on as this seems to eliminate the textationships, marrieds, non commitments, etc etc etc, however even when you do meet you run the risk of investing and then getting ghosted. All personal experiences I'm afraid.

I tell my 12 yr old DS that I am going on a date with a "friend of a friend". He is absolutely horrified at the idea of online dating, so I've stretched the truth a bit. However, I don't go on many dates when he is not at his Dads so it's not something I have had to deal with too much. I like Baklava's approach and it would certainly be one I would use if I had a DD.

education welcome! You are never too old/too short/too fat! However, you do need a very thick skin. It's not easy no matter who you are, however coming on here and reading/writing about it does help and makes you realise it's nothing personal. If it helps at all, my Mum met her current man online, and she's 71!!!

Mr Adventurer is still messaging and next weekend is date 3, he is coming to my neck of the woods which could mean that mooseburgers are on the menu. He does live an hour away, so getting together has posed to be a bit of an issue, but I think in some ways its a good thing. So I have run some of the race with meeting a couple of times, neither of us are dating anyone else/still on Tinder and he is coming to visit. Now to see if I get ghosted after that! I fear I sound a little despondent, but I think this is the end result after a few years of on/off OLD and more a good dose of realism as opposed to despondancy.

All the best to those with irons

Thank you for the advice. I think I will not mention OLD as she is nearly 15 and would be highly embarrassed. However i might suggest the friend of a friend thing. As it is a movie I can also go on the "we both wanted to see this movie and you didn't want to come with me..." line. I did ask her to come see it, but she declined.

I am just as terrified of this conversation as I am of the date itself... she is not silly and has noticed my distraction of late. But she won't feel upset about me no longer being interested in her dad. but she might feel jealous I am going out without her.

My NYE was spent messaging my iron with virtual kisses at midnight...he is extremely committed. Even after 3 weeks of this he still contacts me several times a day and we chat every night. So looking forward to meeting him finally. Even if this doesn't become a relationship (and actually I feel it is too soon for me) I feel like we will be amazing friends.

Feeling a bit loved up today....:)

Thank you for your welcome, Bernie
Hopefully, skin is think enough.

ark your messaging sounds fun! Fingers crossed your ex 'comes good' soon!

education welcome! And no you most certainly aren't too old, short or fat! I was so so nervous before joining up to OLD- took me 18 months of procrastinating. Made my friend take a photo of me and then set a timer on my phone for 5/10 minutes and wrote whatever came into my head. It was quite liberating getting over that hurdle and realising it can always be changed. Also when you see the photos/profiles of some of the men that will contact you, you'll realise that all you are lacking is over confidence and total delusion!!

Clawdeen Thank you for welcome and encouragement
and ...

first thing first
! Happy New Year !
wow I have quite a few dense pages to read / catch up with, hope to read lots of lovely news and that you have been all more proactive than me. I feel like a Xmas Pudding myself, (heavy!) and cannot wait for routine to go back to normal. Only 5 days to go. Breath!!

Happy new year everyone.

Happy new year all! Feeling extremely tired and fat, but still going to shoehorn myself into the least of my jeans and waddle off to my date 4 tonight with mr13 going so well!

Happy new year everyone. I'm really struggling with OLD at the moment. I must have received 20 messages from new people today but I can't find one that clicks. I know I'm being too picky, especially with grammar and spelling (as well as pictures) but some can't even spell my name right. Plus I live about an hour away from anyone on tinder which means a 1 hour coffee date needs 3 hours babysitting.
I'd like to just go to a pub and meet someone but I'm too shy to go on my own. Argh! Rant over.

tanito it really is a numbers game and takes a lot of perseverance and patience! Plus a thick skin and a lot more time, effort and energy than dating should actually need. That said, there are good ones out there. It can happen, and I've known/seen people get into relationships both in real life and on here. I have good friends who have been together almost 2 years, met on Tinder. I have 4 other friends currently dating seemingly very nice, normal guys for the last 2/3 months all happy so far also from OLD.
All had their fair share of bad ones with all the usual rubbish! It's honestly just numbers...

Am just about to block Mr NO Commitment from what's App as fed up with been messed around.
My new years resolution is not to waste time been messed around by men .
I think I will give OLD a break as not sure I am ready for all the upset.
You definitely need a thick skin which I haven't got yet.

is it too much if a date wants date 3 the day after date 2?

I wish I knew how to do this properly!