Dating thread 111- just waiting...

[Evilwater]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good.

bant not if it's an appropriately dressed cat surely?

Saying stuff like that is why I'm still single isn't it

bant hadn't thought of that. Good call

Just lurking, just split from a man I met online, many of you warned me yet I took no notice, got involved too fast, fell in love, let my guard down. He cheated, I found out a couple days before Christmas, things are still very raw. I know I'm not ready to date again but I am tempted to sign up to a online agency just to find people to chat too but I'm worried about the men that pester and the ones that think sending a picture of their penis is going to win me over. I hope in time I can date again and find a man that wants me for me, someone I can share hobbies with, someone who will treat me right. Feels a bit like finding a needle in a hey stack.

Hi .... has anyone here ised EHarmony please ?
I've set up my profile and think I'd quite like to subscribe but am worried it'll take the whole 12 month subscription out of on iTunes account .
I don't mind paying monthly .
Any here used this one amd wouldn't you recommend it ?
TIA

E- Harmony is just like the rest of the date sites. It's like paying for POF. I certainly would not pay to join E-Harmony, you would be better off paying for Match.Com.

what's the main difference between the two ? (Harmony and match)

From what I remember from a previous poster, EH makes recommendations only, based upon a long series of questions, many of which are ethics and morals based. Someone said it felt very Christian-centric, although I haven't done it myself so couldn't say.

I also seem to remember you could only communicate with the recommended members, and not anyone else who may catch your eye. I may be wrong on this, so anyone else with more experience may be better placed to advise.

Match and pof do recommended matches. OKC gives a (fairly accurate) percentage score based on a long series of questions. All three of those allow people to search and message directly though. Pof and OKC are free to message.

Match and its parent company owns POF/OK Cupid/Tinder and 52 other dating sites the latter are all segmented into religion/friends and so forth.

For example, dating via religion in the US is one of the largest dating segments out there.

Apparently, swiping apps like Tinder are on the outs it appears most people looking for love don't actually wanna just swipe on a photo!

I don't know paid versus free brings better look as you can see Match owns most of the free and paid sites if you're a user you'll have noted the same people are on all sites. Happy dating:)

Luck not look. Ah

Some of the dating sites share a database of users - so when you create a profile with datingdirect.com you end up being viewed by people on match.

And when you join singleparentdating.com, you end up being viewed by bikerdating.com etc ( this may not be the case anymore but it was)

Match, pof, tinder and OKC all have separate databases though, so people create profiles on multiple sites to maximise their chances.

Opinion is divided on whether free vs paid is better.

Probably paid reduces the amount of spam you get, and marrieds, but people feel more entitled on paid sites. That's been the opinion on here before, anyway.

Elite Singles have been advertising all afternoon on television. I can only presume it is that time of year!

I paid around £200 for 6months sign up for ES, no luck on there the free sites were better.

Think I have been ghosted....my iron literally stopped talking to me in the middle of a Whatapp conversation at 4.30 this afternoon and hasn't come back...
This is despite us talking every night and often during the day.

We were talking about our future as friends or more...I think I freaked him out or he decided to cut me dead. practically mid-sentence.

I have since sent a couple of messages and he hasn't read them.

totally confused.

I think I give up on this dating stuff for a while.

Remember don't send him any more messages. If you can, try really hard to imagine he has been caught up in some family drama (e.g. parent in hosp), and that he'll be tired later. Get sleep yourself and see what happens in the morning.

There may be an explanation but if you don't hear anything by 9am I'd send a "have you received my messages?" message.

Hoping he has a good reason for you.

remember - I feel for you - this happened to me 2 weeks ago. Was an odd experience...

I'm working on keeping the idea in my head that it's meant to be fun in the early weeks...

I'm guessing you've checked whatsapp and he's been online since? it's not that long for no contact - I agree with Lilac - don't msg now and see what happens tomorrow

thanks Bant and Ciaovenora for that
I used to pay for o k stupid and I will do so again as soon as I gather some strength to get back into it
It is the only site I have ever used and have no desire for more "work". I do not like the idea of been able only to speak to matches pushed my way by the system....Also - as you said - users must be pretty match the same allover

Remember it does sound like he got caught up in something, rather than ghosting. Let it be, see what happens in the next few days. Don't hold your breath :-)

Ok....he simply went out and forgot his phone. Went on to have a nice conversaction. But scares me how bad it felt not knowing. We agreed on friends....not sure how realistic that is given my reaction to his disappearance off my radar.
Thank you for the adevice to sit tight. At least I didn't look like too much of a looney!

remember why just friends? pls remind me if you have met (1,2?)

I am terrible at replying - one guy actually made me noticed that, saying that overtime i reply he feels like its my last message - I certainly do not mean it that way and I don't even notice I do. So just bear that in mind, some people are genuinely bad at keeping the pace

Boxing. ...no we haven't met yet. But he is convinced that he doesn't want anything serious wit me. There is one aspect of my life that he feels is incompatible with his and that is something I an not willing to change....and he is not asking me to. But in every other respect we are perfect. Neither of us want to lose that great basis for a friendship. W have arranged to meet soon. Once school goes back.

Morning

Come on then last, how did it go?

Popping in to say hello, mainly because I've spotted the messages from BoxingHelena asking where I am. The answer is I've spent the past two weeks doing lots of work and lots of volunteering and have been very busy.

The one time I logged onto POF I had a message straight away from the guy who keeps messaging me despite the lack of replies. If I ever log back in again, I'm going to block him because I feel like he's almost stalking me online and I'm not comfortable with it.

I've been meeting lots of interesting, lovely people recently - none of whom have been dating material. But I feel it's important to stay open to new experiences and connections because you never know where it may lead. Really not keen on doing OLD again, but the idea of speed dating terrifies me and I think I need more than a few minutes to shine...

Dating is 2017's problem. I'll think about it next year. Yes, I know it's next year in a few days...

So the guy who cancelled on me on Tuesday is meeting me for a coffee on Saturday afternoon. He wanted to spend Saturday night, but to be honest I'm not keen onNYE at the best of times, and especially not for a first date.

I did get an arsey message from one guy off Badoo who lives two hours from me because I didn't respond to his hello message. I'm still trying to understand OLD I haven't replied to every message. Is it expected?

Brittany - no, as often if you reply to say 'thanks but no thanks' you'll get a pissy 'how dare you' response.

Just ignore.