Dating thread 111- just waiting...

[Evilwater]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good.

Crazy all ths pps are right do not reply he is not worth it!!

mintychoc thanks for Sharing that, its a lovely story!
I'd be most Happy if mine followed suit

And I don't have long to wait for my date number 2 with mr13!
We decided not to wait until next weekend because what with Christmas and new year both are busy so we're popping out for a quick drink tonight
He seems pretty keen, and I'm looking forward to seeing him again so all good so far

Whoop-whoop last, so pleased to hear that date number 2 has been brought forward

That's fantastic lastnickname!

Yippppeee lastnickname

Crazy, please, please, PLEASE, do yourself a kindness and block his number

This ^^

Why do some men do this? Just when you are over them ... they pop up just to headfuck you all over again. Stay strong Crazy

I'm back! We just had a quick drink, was meant to be just out for an hour but it turned into 2. I definately fancied him more this time, and it was actually lovely. I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about this one! famous last words

Oooh how lovely last ... fingers crossed for this one

Evening ladies (and gents)

So I have now had four dates with a guy I met on Gsm. Seems good - trying not to freak out based on previous OLD experiences...and then bam! Xmas comes and everyone shoots off to different corners of the U.K. and insecurity and panic sets in! How much should I message...why hasn't he replied yet etc etc. I love xmas and seeing my family but it is like throwing cold water over the oh so delicate getting to know you phase!

On related news, just when I was starting to get over my ex, she popped up to headfuck me all over again. Last week and then again today.

So I'm going to have to block her. I can't move on if she keeps on coming back.

Hello everyone

Been following these threads for awhile which has sorted inspired me to try OLD as reading posts here makes it all feel a bit more human and has made me less anxious about it.

Guess I signed up to ask does the 2nd date mean anything or is it all still up in the air as to if she is interested?

I had my first coffee date/meet from someone I met on tinder after around a week of chatting.

Not sure how my first date went as I was thrown a bit at the start at how pretty she was.

We chatted for around 3 hours then went to a bar to chat a bit more which on my part felt like a 3 hour mix of nerves and adrenaline and eventually had to call it for work in the morning.

I asked if she fancied a 2nd date and she said sure we can hang out after the new year and she suggested a place (but not an exact date so maybe not?).

She started talking about tinder and dates, at some point I mentioned without thinking that I was a bit stunned by good looking she was which was met from her with an 'ooh! and raised eyebrows' then I can only imagine I had a sort of deer in headlights look of my face as I realized what I blurted out.

I think as it was my first date im replaying events over in my mind which has exhausted me a little until I realized I was probably not paying attention to rule 3 so had stepped back a bit and tried to distract myself which stuff.

Sorry if the above is a load of blurb I just needed somewhere to vent.

What the actual hell is going on?
Logged into POF this morning and I've had SIX messages from guys in 10 mins.

Six! Is there some desperate Christmas Eve rush or something?!

Frederick that sounds like a good first date! 3 hours, plus a move to another venue (an ideal point to leave, if she'd wanted to). Try to relax

Keep us updated with progress!

Bant - I posted this to Crazy. It applies to you aswell ... change women to men Why do some men do this? Just when you are over them ... they pop up just to headfuck you all over again. Stay strong

Possibly I would just keep it casual over Xmas. I reply less to people as I'm here there and everywhere. Try not to stress

Frederick 2nd dates - still up in the air 100%. You cannot get too invested at this stage. As many of the PP have found out much to all of our distaste

last it sounds like it went really well!!

Frederick, try not to overthink it, it sounds like it went really well! Many of us on here suffer with getting over invested, but trying not to is easier said then done.

Bant, what would you advise us if we were in your position? I think you should block her and try and move on. You know she's toying with you, so why let her? You are worth more, we all are.

Thank you for keeping me strong. I've managed to ignore him. Deleted message etc. Xx

Have you blocked his number Crazy?×

Am I crazy to have sent a merry christmas message to my iron (the one who cancelled our date because he found out something about me he didn't like).
I just keep hoping he will change his mind. I need to stop that don't I?

I realise he is projecting his relationship history on to me and that one thing reminded him of something he is unable to get over. But it seems such a waste to me. I haven't come across anyone else who I connected with like I did with him.

I know this isn't ideal behaviour on my part. is the better thing just to get back on the horse and try to establish a connection with someone else? My hearts not really in it...

My christmas has been a bit crap so far...roll on new year...

For those who've been sharing my friend's ex the photographer story. I sent her a message this morning to wish her and her family a peaceful, happy Christmas and she immediately called me to tell me about her father's funeral which was on Thursday.

And then she told me that her ex (the man I've been seeing but pushed away on the phone this Wednesday evening because I felt uncomfortable about falling in love with my friend's ex and having to keep it a secret) had not come to the funeral. I fell silent. I was startled as when I had spoken to him (and finished things with him) less than ten hours prior to the funeral he had every intention of going; for his four year old's sake and as solidarity towards his ex. I told her (as I have already done on a few occasions) that I was in touch with him and that he'd told me he was going and I was surprised to learn he hadn't. (I wanted her to know that he really wanted to be there for her and her family). She blurted out that she knew I was in touch with him and from that point on we both finally had a conversation during which we both explained that we knew there was something happening between her ex and I. I told her nothing about that but expressed the need I'd had to be truthful with her but that my hands were, to a great extent, tied. I think she was more frustrated by the fact she'd encouraged me to be straight with her in the past and I hadn't spoken out than by the fact something might have happened between me and her ex.

I felt immediate relief even though nothing specific was mentioned. She has been at the forefront of my mind during this whole (beautiful) relationship with her ex and that is mainly why I split up with him on Wednesday night. I am sad. I am also so sorry he seems to be hurting that much. He'd asked me whether I was also going to the funeral but I told him I was not as I believed it was a family only thing and that I was working that day anyway.

Might it be that his sudden illness is because my decision to end things has hurt him?

remember a merry xmas message is not really big deal, it s polite, do not stress over it.
With regard to him having a sudden change of heart, to be honest, I would treat anything he says with pinch of salt. He has detached, somehow he has shut you out. It is hard to accept but it does sound like you need to move on.

crazy I salute you. I haven't even got any message (but somehow think it will come when it suits) and still feel I have to keep my (dignity) chin up

ThisIsTheRightTime hard to tell why he didn't go. He might have not gone even if you were still together for a different reason, or simply, because like you, hiding secrets from people you care its very uncomfortable.
I had a very short fling with a friend ex but I couldn't go through with it. I imagine that conversation with my friend and I just could not see it happening. I told another friend though and she told me " he is not an ex for no reason ". I made that my mantra

Thanks BoxingHelena for your answer He had every intention of going the night before. As clear as anything he was. And then I split up with him and then he's too sick to go a few hours later? I'm certain he would have gone if we'd still be together. He's been covering his feelings up from his ex ever since we got together.

At least my friend knows now. No details. Just that her intuition was right.

Wishing everyone a merry Christmas. I've been having fun chatting to two guys from POF. They both seem a bit full on which I find quite difficult, I'm much more reserved, but from talking to friends this seems to be what French guys do.

I figure even if nothing comes of it, at least I will be having some kind of social life which I haven't had for the last four years.

Merry Christmas Everyone xxxx

Merry Christmas everyone!

Can't quite bring myself to block number.... not sure why. Pretty sure I won't hear from him again after not replying the text anyway...