Dating thread 111- just waiting...

[Evilwater]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good.

There have been thread meet ups before, a few of them in fact. There have also been marriages of people on here, where they were updating the thread during loo breaks on their first date with the man they eventually married. No dating thread kids yet though, as far as I know.

lotso if you found the joke funny, and they didn't, then that means they weren't right for you. OLD is a numbers game. Some people meet people quickly because they're lucky, some because they have low standards.

Don't stress it, keep plugging away, or take a break, and eventually you'll meet someone who Has the same sense of humour. They already found you attractive otherwise they wouldn't have swiped right.

I try and fit a joke in early because no matter how attractive someone is, if they don't get it, then they won't get me. So what's the point of continuing

oh yes last absolutely, last but not least of the year.

Bant amazing stories. I wonder when the first Thread started. 111 laters...........

Almost 5 years ago I think

Wow I didn't know that bant! And ive been on and off these threads a while annoyingly, but that's pretty exciting to hear

hello all, having googled an unusual username of someone I am chatting to i realised it has an acronym for a slightly unusual sexual practice in it! i am wondering if it was intentional (more than likely i guess) or just coincidence... there's no photo but in our limited chats so far he seems genuine, above ground and professional... it was just an unusual username so i googled it and this thing came up. is this common practice to do this kinda thing? don't know how to bring it up to the user, he wants to meet for a drink... it could all get a bit weird if that's what he's after as I am sure not!!

what's the practice ? shibari? knots and ropes ?

just google "ANR"!

Sprinkle, I'm always wary when they don't post a photo, so I would guess that the user name isn't a coincidence- I could obviously be very wrong though.

Me and Mr 31 have today booked a little holiday for February. I can't quite believe it. It's been a fab 2 months though and means that the year is ending much more positively then I expected. We're both happy and having fun, so I'm still trying not to overthink things.

Oh my, that would be a step too far for me

Ahh, Mrsfluff, crossposted. So pleased that all is going well for you and Mr31, having something to look forward to together is so exciting. Have a lovely Christmas

Forme2016 - laughing thought you were shocked at fluff holiday

Sprinkle -- oh no no..... i would worry if it would include nappi chasing ( vom ! )

err.. that was nappy changing

I Googled ANR too. Crikey. That would be a definite 'no' from me!

It does seem a bit too coincidental, with no photo...

Very pleased to hear your news with Mr31, MrsFluff!

thanks all for your thoughts!

i've sent a fairly direct but apologetic question asking if there's anything significant about the username and saying if so then i'm just looking for a very normal relationship...

hopefully if it's a coincidence he is not going to hold it against me for asking!!

I think that was the right thing to do, sprinkle-although after my effort this evening to be direct I'm not sure I'm the best person to offer advice...

I had another iron, who I've been chatting to for about a week. But his messages to me a) didn't answer any of the questions I asked b) didn't ask any real questions of me and c) seemed rather disjointed and uninterested. So I plucked up the courage to message him and say 'Look, I just don't get the feeling you're into this conversation, so I'm going to bow out and wish you luck'.

He sent me a message back with the clear implication that I was stroppy and/or high maintenance I'm so not either of those things, but I clearly need to learn a bit of OLD etiquette.

I still believe direct and honest is the way to go though.

shodan - i think that was a fair thing to say... i have had a few convos that seem to go nowhere and they seem uninterested, i kinda think what's the point of that then? but i get the impression many ppl are happy to have very boring convos!

i guess the options are to 1) ignore any new msgs 2) be direct like you have or 3) make an excuse e.g. i've met someone or am giving it a break or something... not sure what is the best really!

mrs Fluff hooray on ending the year in relationship and on a very happy note! Booking a holiday together is a big step...and lovely!

sprinkle I never chat to people with no photo. There's usually a reason for them not having one and that couples with the dodgy user name would have me bowing out.. let us know what happens!

I'm really worried about my date tomorrow night now! He's so far, the best guy I've messaged in months. Asks me loads of questions and is a great balance of funny and interesting. So far normal and seemingly a really nice guy. but on 2 counts I'm feeling uneasy.. one is that he seems to be in the OI corner, he's already mentioned several other dates and plans of further things we can do together and said next year is looking good! He did apologise after, saying it was a little heavy but I worry he's expecting this to be a success but we've never met and I don't feel chemistry with about half of my dates!
Secondly we were sending selfies and silly photos last night, he looks a fair but different, and heavier than his profile photos! Which in turn makes me think I'm not going to fancy him! I shouldn't be feeling like this before our first date

Thank you all

Oh last, I hope he hasn't posted misleading pics, that's so pointless and just sets him up for failure. As for his OI tendencies, its difficult isn't it! As someone who has spent a lot if time in the OI corner, I can kind if understand if he genuinely thinks he's hit it off with you, but I was more a daydream about it kind of girl, rather than weite it out in a message.

Thanks mrs fluff I won't right him off obviously, I do still want to meet him but I'm more worried about having to hurt or disappoint him. I hate that part!

I'm usually the one in the OI corner too

Try not to worry too much last, it will either go really well or it won't, worry won't change it I will look forward to the update x

last as MrsFluuff says - My only suggestion if you really do not like the look of him do not enter the polite zone and act all jolly and nice, which is easily done, and then have to have the Chat,
Try to cut the date short - after all its only a tuesday - it will disappoint but at least less confusing (as we ALL know when it happened to us)

I don't post here very regularly, mostly because my OLD has never resulted in an actual meet up despite countless messages and quite a few 'phone calls. There was this Portuguese policeman with whom something could have happened; I guess bad timing, etc. means it wasn't meant to be.

For those of you who might recall I met a photographer way back early August with whom I felt a mutual thing going on but because he is the ex of a friend of mine (there have a four year old son together) we kept away from each other. End of September, whilst working on more photos for my work project, we finally threw ourselves onto each other and then I kept him at arm's length, again because of loyalty for my friend. In November, after spending 10 minutes on the school car park things started escalating between us and we've been seeing each other since then.

We only get to see each other once a fortnight (he lives an hour's drive away and we have one weekend every two weeks without our respective children). At first we were clear about a no strings attached thing but after a mere month that went out of the window. He's been amazing. Things are passionate between us but we are both good talkers so that, hopefully, will stand us in good stead.

My friend still doesn't know. It's a bone of contention for me but we both feel it's better to see where we are going before opening the lid on things, in particular because my friend's father has just died this week from cancer and we both wanted to let her get through this ordeal the most serenely possible. Some of you might feel indignant about this. It is not an easy decision to reach The truth, if we are still together, must come out; hopeful over January.

I'm freaking out though. I am so scared at times as I'm definitely developing feelings for this man, and he is too, I know. I spent the first night at his this weekend and at 3am I freaked out. I woke him up (poor sod) and told him I should go home and I thought it would be better for us to stop seeing each other. I know, I'm really, really stupid! Thankfully he was super calm, despite being woken up in such an unpleasant manner, and we talked about things calmly. Afterwards he told me his feelings had not altered one jot because of this and that I was absolutely allowed to me imperfect. In short, nothing had changed for him.

I felt awful for pushing him away like that: old wounds and all that. I must stop from overthinking...

Do any of you find yourselves panicking in the early stages of a new relationship, however well it might be going?

ThisIs my story is a bit like MrsFluff's

And yes. I had a total meltdown a few months into something lovely and I ended it because I was terrified I was going to get hurt. Major panic attack.
Then there were about 10 weeks of absolute misery until I cracked and sent him a card with a nice message and my phone number. I'd deleted his.
He messaged me immediately when he got it and we met the next night. He is the best thing thats happened to me for years and it's all still completely terrifying - there's a bit age gap and his family would hate me... I think.

So I don't know what's going to happen. But we are really happy together, it just works somehow. We have been away for a weekend, going away on another one soon and we're planning a holiday.

Just living in the moment.
In my past life, I looked to the future all the time, and the future ended up looking nothing like how I thought it would.
So now I'm just living in the moment. The moment is damn fine.

Gosh, thank you so much UpYerGansey! I've almost got tears in my eyes thanks to your post. I'm so happy for you and very grateful you have shared your moments of intense fear too. I am falling for this man. He's amazing (not perfect, obviously) and losing control a little frightening. In a way it's good that we don't see each other frequently for the time being as it gives me time to balance things out emotionally. He is very at calming me down.

I am grateful to you, truly!