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Original poster

Ex has called the police on me!

300 replies

Notmyweek · 01/12/2016 21:59

So I've just received a letter from the police stating that my ex has called them due to me harassing him!

They've said they aren't going to arrest me but want to see me to get my side of the story!

Is he fucking serious??!! Only last week I had to call them because of his abuse and weirdness and now he's called them!

Yes I've contacted him since but only regarding our child.....wtaf??

His sister has even been in contact with me! Yet I'm now being told I'm harassing him??

I'm pregnant! I don't need all this stress, how can he do this?? I genuinely believed he loved me once, obviously I was wrong...who calls the police on their pregnant ex??

OP posts:
Original poster
Notmyweek · 02/12/2016 13:53

That's the issue in all of this, I called the police on the 21st and he's called them on the 28th a whole week later.

They will simply assume we are both as bad as each other even though I made an allegation of physical harm

OP posts:
ThPrincess · 02/12/2016 15:32

sorry op this is just how the police work these days a man literally has to kill you before they do anything then its to late.
I am staying on my friends sofa because I am scared for my life yet this person is still occupying his property despite apparently being so scared of me. I am more than half his age and 5'3 size 8 female. For me troubling the police with this I have been dragged through criminal courts now I am being dragged through the civil courts. I have also had to leave my job because of this.
It has literally ruined my life and my mental health, I am on high anti depressants.

I am just telling you my story so you don't suffer the same fate as me. I wouldn't wish what I am going through on anyone (despite the person in question)

Original poster
Notmyweek · 02/12/2016 16:46

I've known my ex 8 months & he has manage to single handedly ruin my life.

I contact him about our son and he has the cheek to call the police and claim harassment!

Yet as soon as he decides he wants to knock on my door when the baby is here, il be expected to welcome him with open arms!

I'm speaking with the police on Monday and will ensure I refer them back to my police report made a week before.

OP posts:
SestraClone · 02/12/2016 18:02

Was he arrested or spoken to, about the allegations of abuse that you made to the police?

Original poster
Notmyweek · 02/12/2016 18:35

No, the police advised to leave it and see if anything happens, see if he contacts me.

OP posts:
goddessofsmallthings · 02/12/2016 21:52

When advising you to "leave and see if anything happens" I very much doubt that the police had it in mind for you to contact him.

As it is, you stand alone in your complaint of 21st November while he can whatever famly members were present when you went to his home, together with the email you sent to his boss, as evidence that you harassed him on more than one occasion during the week thereafter.

Furthermore, there would seem to be little cause for you to persist in harassing him to arrange contact with a child that is as yet unborn.

I've known my ex 8 months & he has managed to single handedly ruin my life

Enough already! According to your account, despite only knowing each other for a matter of months the pair of you planned this pregnancy and as you were a willing particpant, even though you were aware that the relationship was toxic, it can't be said that he has "single handedly" ruined your life.

Original poster
Notmyweek · 02/12/2016 22:22

Honestly if my thread is bothering you then do me a favour and don't comment!

Fact is, I am 21 weeks pregnant & the father of my child who was supposed to be my bf upped & left me! & then calls the police because I email his boss???? He should be ashamed of himself for putting me through this end of!

Fact is I'm human & I have feelings tough luck to anyone who tries to disagree!

He called the police because he's angry his manager knows how much of a coward he really is, he's embarrassed she now sees what kind of guy he is!

The guy hit me & emotionally abused me, don't you dare sit & judge me for emailing his boss!

OP posts:
Fidelia · 03/12/2016 14:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

myoriginal3 · 03/12/2016 14:28

Stop harassing him.

Original poster
Notmyweek · 03/12/2016 15:49

It's funny how he made the allegation on the Tuesday however the police don't feel it urgent enough to see me until Monday??

I didn't send the email to embarrass him, however that would be the reason he rang the police!

The hilarious thing is if in April I post on here saying "ex is harassing me to see his son" you'd all be the same damn people to tell me I should be letting him see him & that he has every right!

OP posts:
SlottedSpoon · 03/12/2016 15:52

Its embarrassing when adults behave Ike children

Isn't it just? Hmm

Original poster
Notmyweek · 03/12/2016 15:59

The point you are all missing is the fact he physically hurt me & emotionally!

If me contacting him about our son overrides all of the above then you all need professional help!

OP posts:
Spartak · 03/12/2016 16:13

Please get some help before your child is born. Don't let him be born into this fucked yo situation.

Original poster
Notmyweek · 03/12/2016 16:27

What help do I need??!

Are you all ignoring the fact that myself & my ex made this child together & he has so casually walked away from his responsibilities yet you are telling ME to get some help!!

OP posts:
Pidlan · 03/12/2016 16:28

Sounds to me like you've had a royally shit time with a total arsehole, then harrassed him for a bit because you both love him and hate him. Put all that behind you now- you have a lovely little baby on the way! Good luck to you.

Original poster
Notmyweek · 03/12/2016 16:33

I posted pictures of texts from him so soon before he did this, you'd all understand exactly why I contacted him.

Me & him splitting up for days on end was also the norm so forgive me for contacting him thinking we'd sort it out eventually and get back together!

OP posts:
demonchilde · 03/12/2016 17:14

OP- I know it's easy to say but really, just keep going with your determination to stay away from all these people causing you grief, and try and re-focus all this negative energy into your unborn child and a stable, setlled life for you both. The longer you remain no contact, the less pissed off you will feel about it all and the more you will be likely to be able to view it all as pathetic behaviour and laugh at them.

Destroy any means of contacting him you can in case of an (understandable) weak moment, block his numbers/texts etc etc if you haven't done so already. When the baby is born, don't put his name on the birth cert and keep them away from him, that will lessen any power he may have.

And the police- just saying, I wouldn't assume that they will be reasonable and 'play fair' with you so protect yourself. Smile, be apologetic and just tell them exactly what they want to hear. Try not to say too much at all, as that will lessen the risk of you incriminatting yourself in some way. There are people on here saying 2 accusations of the same thing looks dodgy - some of the police could say or think the same, so be careful.

Just make the decision to remain dignified and walk about from all this shit, get real life support onside and don't look back. You and your LO will be much happier for it.

Original poster
Notmyweek · 03/12/2016 19:51

Thanks demonchilde

Although I've got his number & know it off the top of my head, I've no intentions of contacting him even though I want to speak with him to find out why he's done this.

Being rejected is hard enough, being rejected a second time is unbearable however I won't put myself in that position.

I am simply confused as he wrote me a 4 page letter telling me how much he loved me & not to give up on him.

It's not so much what he said, it's the head f*ck & not understanding how a man can so casually walk away from his pregnant girlfriend....Id say he hasn't even given me a second thought!

I guess I'm just scared il spend this time getting over all of this just for him to try walk back in!

OP posts:
goddessofsmallthings · 03/12/2016 20:03

If you succeed in "getting over all of this" there'll be no chance of you allowing him to "walk back in".

However, it seems to me that you're more scared of him not trying to walk back in because you've bought into the drama of a dysfunctional relationship and are thriving on it.

Patriciathestripper1 · 03/12/2016 20:12

You are coming across as a bit of a stalker dragging in everyone connected to your ex.
If you didn't contact police at the time of the assaults then why are you doing it now?
Not cool to email his boss. He is obviously not interested in you or the baby so leave him alone and get on with your own life. You will feel much better in the long run.

Original poster
Notmyweek · 03/12/2016 20:22

The thing is, whether he's interested or not, he can't run away from his responsibilities, it's not stalkerish if I contact him about his child.
You don't just up and leave your pregnant child to leave her to do all the work.

If I was desperate to have him back and in my life for me, then I'd be constantly contacting him and not bothering to listen when the police get involved.

Why didn't I call the police when the assaults happened??
Because he gave me the classic "you are overreacting", "I was playing"

He made me believe it was me thinking things up!

What everyone has ignored is the fact I had to call the police because of his behaviour on the 21st, he called them on the 28th.

I haven't ever had a relationship how I did with him!

OP posts:
Original poster
Notmyweek · 03/12/2016 20:32

Pregnant gf & child**

OP posts:
GriefLeavesItsMark · 03/12/2016 20:33

As it is often said on here, anyone has the leave any relationship at any time for any reason. And because on of the people is pregnant, is not good enough reason to stay. You don't have to respect him, or his reason for leaving the relationship, but you need to understand he doesn't need your permission not to see you.

AngryVagina · 03/12/2016 20:40

Ah it's so easy to get worked up and into a tizz about a break up. I can't even imagine how hard it must be with a baby to think about and it being such a short relationship. The ball is rolling with the police and social services now so you will need to let all that play out as it does but aside from those things, you need to find a distraction and stop getting worked up about him, stop thinking about him. I know there's what feels like a ticking time bomb in your belly that will force you to deal with it all and you feel like you want a plan in place but 19 weeks is a LONG time for things to have changed drastically. You don't know what the situation will be then, so deal with it all one day at a time.

AcrossthePond55 · 03/12/2016 21:15

The thing is, whether he's interested or not, he can't run away from his responsibilities

Unfortunately, he can. And it appears that he has. As countless others have done before him and will do after him. They shouldn't, but you cannot make someone be interested in a child. You can't make someone care.

it's not stalkerish if I contact him about his child

Any unwelcome contact for any reason, even if that reason is a good one, is indeed 'stalkerish'.

You don't just up and leave your pregnant child to leave her to do all the work.

But they do it all the time. They shouldn't, but they do. And your bf has done exactly that.

I'm sorry, but you really, really need to let this whole thing with him go. I understand that you want your child to have a father in his life, but you cannot control what this man does. You cannot force him to acknowledge this child. Focus your energy on things you can control, like providing a happy home for your child. Stop beating your head against a stone wall. All it will do is give you a huge headache.