Just found this FB message exchange between Dh and a woman, not sure what to think?

[HuskyLover1]

Message was in July:
Him: Thanks don't think it was up long
Her: Sorry, it was a mistake. Only meant to send the pic to you. Won't bother you again
Him: Don't be silly. I wasn't bothered by it. You don't have to be like that. What happened in your marriage?
Her: Ok, sorry again for shocking you. I'm still married but it's not the best. I feel very unloved and have done for years. It will be our 9th wedding anniversary on 20th July. I want to enjoy my life with someone who loves me for who I am and wants to spend time with me. Hope you are happy.
Him: Not shocking. Good pic actually. Didn't want my wife to see it and put 2 and 2 together. I'm so sorry that hasn't worked out for you. You moved out or are yu going to get a divorce?
Her:No I'm very scared. How long have you been married?
Him: Scared of what? I've been married years.
Her: I'm scared to leave and be on my own. Hate life at the moment. How did you meet?
Him: You'll be ok I'm sure. You have a lot on your plate. I met Husky on POF.
Her: POF?
Him: Plenty of fish
Her: Where is Husky from? Hows life Hows work?
Him: Tells her where we live

^^ this was all in July

Then last night he sends her a message saying "how are you"

God tell me what to think about this :-(

First, he was the one to turn it into a conversation. He could have left it at the first line but he carried on and showed concern for her. - If it was a male friend would it have been okay to have conversation and show concern?

It sounds completely innocent on his part. He was polite and interested only as an acquaintance. She must have posted to his timeline instead of private messaging him the pic. The picture must be at least 10 years old, on which case op would have been able to see that it was an old photo. He shouldn't have asked her to take it off.

Seriously it's innocent, he told her all about uou, and there is nothing wrong with a bloke simply asking a woman "how are you " four months later. It's hardly excessive contact, and I see nothing weird about it.

Nor do I see anything wrong in him not mentioning it, it's probably irrelevant to him. I'd have taken the approach that if he did mention it would be more of a big deal to him. Especially in light of the conversation, where he's clearly telling her he's married.

My interpretation is, they're work colleagues, there's been a do, there's a picture and she's shared it. He's asked her to remove it out of respect for you.

I think it sounds like she was looking for comfort maybe so old flame, he is clearly not interested but asking her how she is, as for tonight's meagre maybe she posted something and he was just seeing if she's OK.
If they have a shared history it's not unusual to care if that person is hurting.
As no other behaviors have changed I think you just have innocent exchange.

Thanks for replies. I had it out with him the moment he got in (he'd been at a concert). Not the best, as I'd had a few glasses of wine! He says it was a selfie with her, him and another colleague, where they were all doing those stupid pouted lips thing. She posted it on his wall, he knew I wouldn't like it. It wouldn't have bothered me actually. Years ago it may have (first H cheated with over 10 women, so it's been hard to trust, but I do). When I asked about the "put 2 and 2 together" comment, he said that was badly worded and that he should have said "get the wrong idea" instead. I asked why he sent the message on Friday. I missed a bit, it said "how are you, are you still staying at your sisters?". He said because he heard on the grapevine that her sister was very ill. It would seem that they are all old school friends and he has never dated her. I'm still pissed off that she is pouring her heart out to him. Bog off! But I don't know if I am over the top, because of my past with first H. I feel like I can't be around him tonight. He will be home at 5pm. Don't even want to cook his dinner. Not sure if I am over reacting?

Posted to early. Meant to say I agree with the comment above from another poster. I don't think it's an Ex.

I think his explanation is the truth.

I was at a leaving do at work and a male and female took a pouting selfie. In my mind I did wonder how their spouses would have felt seeing that, but there was nothing more in it.

I do think you're overacting a bit to be honest.

There must be something wrong with your relationship before he's deleting photos of him and another friend thinking it would annoy you

I think his story sounds believable.

Before your update I was going to say that he does'nt seem guilty of anything, they don't really know each other that well if he was telling her that he has been married a long time and how you met etc.

Maybe she was trying to get some attention, maybe she was just trying to signal that she's in a violent marriage re the comment about being scared.

Either way, I don't think he's sniffing around her.

It sounds reasonable but sometimes people can hurt our feeling even if technically they havent done anything wrong. Your upset and that's okay.

yeah, I think you're over-reacting a bit too, but it's more understandable given your past history.

However - you have to decide whether or not you actually trust him - that's key at this point. If you don't, then you've got bigger problems than cooking his tea!

He shouldn't be engaging with her.

Sounds like a clingy ex. Nothing inappropriate by the sounds of it but, bad form from him

Yes, you're over reacting, don't tar him with your exes brush, he's done nothing wrong.

Ignore me. Just saw your update.

Awarding myself a lack of attention to detail

His version is what I had assumed from the messages. He should understand that his history of cheating makes things harder to believe though.

Ah I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

His story sounds believable. Is he a kind person? Sounds like he's being nice because she's having a bad time. My concern (because this happened to me) is that she interprets his concern/friendship for more and he is flattered by the attention and it leads to more.
However, sounds like your relationship is solid (mine wasn't). His responses are all positive about you, no suggestion from him that he's being anything other than thoughtful and concerned.

Sorry - just realised you meant your ex was the one who cheated. I don't think it sounds like you have anything to worry about with this one.

His explanation sounds perfectly plausible. Perhaps worth pointing out that it's not particularly appropriate for her to be pouring her heart out like that seeing as they both have partners.

He sounds like a decent bloke, he hasn't flirted with her or tried to engage her in any dodgy conversation, and months after the first exchange he has heard that her sister is unwell and is enquiring after her.

That wouldn't worry me in the slightest.

Your past is seriously clouding your judgement on this OP, I didn't see anything sinister in the exchange & his explanation sounds perfectly plausible. Why do you now feel the need to punish him when as far as I can see he's done nothing wrong?

I'm with Sandy & Aye & others on this. I understand your concerns but I do think he's telling the truth. It may be that shes looking for a shoulder to cry on etc, but he doesn't appear to be offering her one. Hope you're feeling a bit better

That sounds very believable. I can understand your paranoia given your first marriage, but try to relax, it sounds like a genuine casual friendship. It will only become an issue if you make it one.