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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Going on a Bear Hunt - we're going to get through it!

358 replies

madamehooch · 14/11/2016 13:11

As a previous poster on a wonderful thread which has been a real lifeline but which has now ended, this is a new thread for anyone who has been subject to the misery of having an extremely long term relationship (20 plus years ) end. It's a place to find support and congratulations for whatever tiny steps are made and a big non-judgmental hand hold to help us over the inevitable bumps. There will be little LTB on this thread as usually he's already left us (smiling through the pain is always encouraged )😀

OP posts:
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IsNotGold · 02/12/2016 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissWillaCather · 02/12/2016 21:15

I just think now that he's been so so bad to me that I am a fool to have stayed.

But I was a wreck, just wanted to save my family.

Now I feel it's too late, need to stick,with it and just hope to buggery he doesn't betray me again. Dcs are happy, think everything's ok. Just can't do it to them.

Maybe I should stop dwelling and ruminating on these threads.

Good luck to all, I admire your courage in the face of this most horrendous thing.

IsNotGold · 02/12/2016 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Forme2016 · 02/12/2016 22:41

And MissW it isn't you that's done/doing anything to your DC, HE did it, you're the one trying to pick up the pieces.

Sometimes that's better done together (as a couple if he's truly sorry) and sometimes better alone. Neither way is easy and both mean a lot of pain I'm afraid.

Whichever path we choose - we will get through it!!!

Forme2016 · 02/12/2016 22:45

Has anyone seen the trailer for "We're going on a bear hunt" which is on C4 on Christmas Day???

How apt for us all, not that I'll be able to watch it on the day as I will sob all over my family but will record it and probably watch many times in the coming months.

One line from the book that I had forgotten that is in the trailer is "What a beautiful day....I'm not scared!"

How I long for the day when I can say that with conviction xx

MissWillaCather · 02/12/2016 23:40

Thanks, forme and isnotgold.

I am trying and I'm not really sure he is, it's not been rosy.

But what can I do? Now it would be me who'd done it....

Fucking hate these men, we all have had such similar experiences. I really wish I'd been stronger when I found out after months of the script.

Am derailing though, so bowing out, thanks and good luck to all.

ohdearme1958 · 03/12/2016 05:28

To the women who stayed - staying doesn't mean the pain goes away. It will be just as agonizing as the pain of people who decided not to. But the important thing to remember is that in each instance you are making a new life. Your old life has gone and you cannot go into the future without making changes in your marriage no matter how hard your husband might want you to forget it ever happened and just carry on as before But most of all you must not be afraid to grow as a person in case it upsets the applecart. You will be a very different person further on down the line. Be the best model of yourself that it's possible to be. Do not let this ruin you. And yes it's normal for that to feel like an impossible task. But with time and the right help you'll manage it.

And you know just as it's possible for things to work out, it's also possible that even a couple of years from now you say - This has to end, it's not working.

IsNotGold · 03/12/2016 07:06

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kirk123 · 03/12/2016 07:18

Ohhh I am going to tape that on Christmas Day , loving that quote about not being scared as I am full of scared , ohdearme you are so wise and say the right things to us all , thank goodness we have you , I have handed my essay in at 10pm last night , I should be relaxed and chilled , however due to his Tuesday night let me come home I am a bit stressed out , my dd very pregnant one is coming to spend today with arching Xmas movies as my essay celebration , living in the moment thanks my only choice 😢

faffalotty · 03/12/2016 09:09

I'd forgotten that line from the book. That's a great mantra. I'm beginning to see the book in a whole new light now!

Sorry to keep bleating on about mindfulness but if it can help then I think it's worth sharing ideas- the teacher this week taught us a technique for addressing physical pain caused by emotions. You focus on the pain but not the emotions or thoughts. It will then subside (although may take some time). Apparently at an advance level, you can reach a state of being hysterically happy afterwards.

I'm starting to see thoughts in a different way now and it is amazing the difference it can make. Techniques include just observing them as clouds passing by or balloons floating away. It really helps that I'm going to a class, so I'm almost forced to do it while I'm there.

faffalotty · 03/12/2016 09:11

Congratulations on your essay Forme Wine FlowersSmile

Enjoy your celebrations today. You totally deserve them, you are awesome!

Kirk123 · 03/12/2016 12:14

Found us a new book girls

Going on a Bear Hunt - we're going to get through it!
Bubblebath01 · 03/12/2016 22:20

Ohdearme.. We all have our own coping mechanisms. It might appear that I find comfort in his predicament, it is merely moral justice.

He has consistently treated both myself , and his children with utter contempt.

I have spent the best part of thirty years supporting him, the best part of twenty years being a stay at home mum. Because we are not married he has walked off with everything, except my half share in the house.

He refuses to acknowledge even a moral responsability to myself. He has consistently insisted he will only include his children if they included his friend, who is only a couple of years older than our children.

I invited him to visit on our son's birthday to try and build the bridge between them. He turned if into a manipulation to try and coerse me to agree to sell the house. Even suggesting he would take legal action. We found out she (predictably) has left, got bored.

Our children are stable, settled, with less than two years to go until they finish further education. My son suffered a meltdown at his father's abandonment. I virtually had to give up part time work to ensure he was safe. I was in the middle of a university course and now have a new career.

I have been on antidepressants, had counselling, considered taking my own life on many occassions.

I am only inviting him to the house for our children's sake. He needs to know he has given up everything that is really important, family. Once he has come, and gone, it is up to them to work it out between them, not down to me.

I might appear to be callous, and "rubbing it in", but over the last 18 months we have been through absolute hell. He has bought himself a house...

And is trying to negotiate us out of ours.

So, no, he is not getting cake.

We all cope as best we can, and some of us are prepared to be civil for our children's sake. But when this is manipulated, we fight back, to the best of our ability.

I'm glad you have understanding, but not all of us do.

Not looking forward to tomorrow, but it needs to be done, for our children.

Xx

Castelnaumansions · 03/12/2016 22:25

Flowers Bubblebath01

Forme2016 · 03/12/2016 22:48

You sound amazingly dignified Bubblebath, despite all you've been through, you will get through it Flowers

Forme2016 · 03/12/2016 22:49

Kirk, now that sounds like my kind of book Grin

ohdearme1958 · 04/12/2016 00:06

I'm sorry you're going through all of that Bubble. Sadly it's all par for the course and something everyone here will relate to.

I have a severely disabled child, he's my youngest at 25. His dad has seen him 5 times in 3 years. It's our punishment because My 4 older children will have nothing to do with his new, very sordid life. Recently my son had to be restrained both chemically and physically. In desperation i had to, along with his carers, strap him to a chair in order to protect him from himself, as well as protect us. It was a new low and left me very badly shaken emotionally. I sent pictures of it to my husband. Pictures I take because I document everything for his medical team. The reply I got was - I'm going on holiday today, why are you trying to spoil my holiday? Why are you telling me this, do you want me to be there being beaten up as well?

There has also been many incidents of serious injury requiring hospital treatment as a result of self injurious behavior. They're also not acknowledged.

It's my 40th wedding anniversary in 6 days and If he came calling he could have as much cake as he likes. Nothing ever harms these people and I think It's far better for our health and emotional well being to rise above them [and that doesn't mean forgive them] than anything else. There's none of us getting any younger and to be honest I look upon how I handle things as important to my health as having a mammogram or smear test.

I hope tomorrow works out well for you.

IsNotGold · 04/12/2016 07:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kirk123 · 04/12/2016 08:45

Ohdearme I read your above thread and cried , what a selfish bastard , are trying to spoil my holiday , yes we may never be able to forgive them ( well I can't ) but I too am trying to rise above it ! Like a wise old priest said if it helps feel sorry for him he is the selfish loser ! Today I wil rest and put my energy into my own mental wellbeing .Bubble thinking of you especially , the rest of us "as we were" which is good enough ❤️

TheTapir · 04/12/2016 18:54

I hope everyone has had good weekends

I usually hate them but this one has been pretty productive. I got my hair done on Saturday and am now blonde for the first time since I was a little kid, I have booked a Pilates class and a gym induction for Monday evening, done most of my Christmas shopping - my husband used to buy all of the present s because I get stressed about it so this is a big thing for me, I have trimmed my guinea pigs' toe nails, caught up with the Apprentice and cooked myself a curry.

Keeping myself busy is definitely the way to go.

I did sleep really badly last night, I woke at 4am and that was it. I've been trying to tell myself that I will be ok eventually all along but now I am actually beginning to believe it. Still a long way to go though.

faffalotty · 05/12/2016 12:35

Hi Tapir

Sounds like a good weekend! I find keeping busy is useful too. I've also found myself doing things that I wouldn't have done before - going out much more for one thing.

Early wake-ups are annoying. I'm the same, I find it very difficult to get back to sleep. Have you tried any sleeping tablets? I bought some herbal ones, but keep forgetting to take them.

I imagine the festive period has potential to be upsetting for many of us. My STBXH still hasn't said when he wants to see DCs - I want to be able to prepare myself for the times when he has them, so that I won't just wallow and feel sorry for myself.

If a friend of mine was in this situation I wouldn't say 'why don't you just sit at home and think about the past and feel really miserable'. I'd tell them to enjoy themselves and relish the freedom they have. Carpe diem and all that shit.

TheTapir · 05/12/2016 13:01

I've tried herbal nytol tablets but I can actually get to sleep ok, and they don't seem to make any difference to the early morning wake ups unfortunately.

I've been hiding away a bit recently but I've decided to try and get out a bit more, even if it's only to the gym. I have a few things in mind but am thinking after Christmas for most of them. New year, new start kind of thing.

TheTapir · 05/12/2016 13:02

I imagine that Christmas is difficult for all.of you with children. At least I have no need to see my stbxh at all which I am grateful for.

faffalotty · 05/12/2016 14:01

I think getting out in the Winter is really important. Even if life is going smoothly, I find staying indoors all the time can be quite depressing and also makes me feel really tired (think it is SAD)

do you have plans for Xmas Tapir?

TheTapir · 06/12/2016 15:52

Hi Faffa, I am going to my parents' place for Christmas day. For the past couple of years we've hosted Christmas for 8 at our house and my STBXH has enjoyed every minute of being the "host with the most". This year, I think that he'll probably be spending Christmas just him and his elderly mother who is a miserable cow. One of the silver linings is that I no longer have to put up with her!

I am aching after going to the gym last night but have a kettlebells class booked for this evening. I also have plans for Wednesday evening so most of the week is occupied.

I hope everyone else is doing ok.