Online dating...... where have all the good men gone? Thread 110.

[Evilwater]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

AtSea Unless he has some last minute gesture planned then it seems even worse he said that rather than just not acknowledge

Mr Arse has sent me a message earlier asking how my day was- not read/replied.

I have not messaged the other 2 since I messaged them last yesterday- thought it best to leave it and not appear too keen

I have been on match (others are pof) to see whether there is anyone on there.

Just checking in to see how everyone is getting on.

I've just been invited to dinner tomorrow- I'm meeting Mr 31's mum 😃 Not something I ever thought I'd be saying!!

Mrs fluff!

I'm all good, Shy is still being his lovely self. Although I had an anxious moment earlier when we spoke, I need to stop worrying about stuff that isn't there. I don't tell him I am worrying and then he worries too but doesn't tell me so we are generally a couple of twats

I just matched with someone on Bumble who seems absolutely lovely and has gorgeous eyes, but on re-reading his profile... he's 16 inches taller than me! That's just ridiculous, right? I haven't messaged him, still mulling over the height difference.

blankpieceofpaper AtSea1979 Easier said than done, but you're right. Thicker skin required of all of us!

Pringle I'm 5ft 3 and have dated 6ft men. I don't think they mind as much, size isn't usually a problem when sitting or lying down?

Mrs fluff - go you! We definitely need a loo update from that one!

Myuser how lovely that you can be twats together

Yes to thicker skin over here too, although how to actually care less is proving a tough one at the moment

I know!

We got to the end of the date - I said "it was nice to meet you" and something about hoping his bus came ok (we had been talking about them being unreliable) he replied something similar and then that was it. I have been in a similar position - I did not say anything about meeting up again, learnt that lesson!

And that's it, no message! I am right in not texting, yes?

Please could I ask for your thoughts? My first ever online date was a very successful one. We both clicked and liked each other a lot but, long story short, had a misunderstanding and didn't make it to date 2.
Since then we've dropped each other the odd message on Match (mainly instigated by me ) and checked out each others' profiles. We're both quite shy and not the most confident, so between this and being online at the same times, it's our (very understated) way of showing interest.
So when he looked at my profile, I thought "fuck, I'm too long in the tooth for this shit" and basically messaged him suggesting that we might still like each other, and to meet up for a drink, to see if the old spark is still there.
That was 24 hours ago. It took a lot for me to write that, and to my mind it's not the kind of message you'd really sit on for too long. Not fair, as I'm now pretty nervous!
How long before it just appears rude?
Thanks lovelies

Dieu - I'd say that dating is meant to be fun. If it's stressful before you get to the second date, cut your losses and move on.

Now you've been clear, you no longer have to torture yourself with thoughts about how maybe he just doesn't get it - Re-read the rules, you are the prize, and find someone else who actually makes your life more fun.

I think it's really easy to get sucked into thinking about possibilities - but that's for the Over Inverstors corner!

blank - I feel your pain. Try not to overthink - some people still stick to the 3 day thing (although I think that's foolish in the days of the casual text)

pringle - I'm 5'2, my 2 big long relationships were with people over 6'. It's fine...

mrsFluff - have a nice time! That's proper serious that is!

atsea - alternative viewpoint - people lie on the internet - he may be scared you are scamming him! But the chances are he is an arse...

bant - how did your bumble experiment go?

Waves vaguely at everyone else

You're right BB, and thanks!

Eurgh re-joined Tinder as a distraction. A guy said firstly that I was ‘fucking fit’ and then ‘what are you on here for’ – I hate this question more than life itself. Why ask? Im on a dating site FFS. And I’m not a teenager so it’s pretty bloody obvious isn’t it? I’ve just replied – unfortunately not a quick shag so I guess that counts me out’ You can always tell what they’re after when they ask that question right?

I may try Bumble again as everyone seems to be finding that a bit more successful?

Well, I let my first bumble contact time out, three of the 4 other contacts timed out without contacting me, and I got a message last night from the last one, who was actually quite attractive.

However, I was chatting on whatsapp to tomorrow's date (Miss Knee). The first of them. I'm going to cancel the second one (miss tall) as conversation has been halting at best, and conversation just flows with the other one.

I'll reply to last nights one though, although to be honest I'm getting overly invested with miss knee, having not actually met her.

OMG. I've just been talking to someone on Bumble who actually understands what the hell I do in both jobs and is interested. And interesting. And looks really sweet. Bumble jackpot! Totally meeting him.

Bumble could prove to be a winner for us all? POF is bloody dire.

I take it Bumble is a 'swipe' Tinder type thing? Reason I ask is that I have a brick of a phone, so can only do online dating at home on the Mac!

Yes Dieu - you swipe in the same way as Tinder. BUT you have to be the first person to message (as in the female) and within 24 hours. Then the male then has 24 hours to respond back or the match disappears

I have 14 matches ... and 3 people have responded to messages I've sent within the last 4 hours? Good sign hopefully? I'm hoping for a distraction at least anyway!

Good luck with it! And for what it's worth, I rather like the sound of it. Female led, and encourages striking while the iron's hot, rather than fecking around for ages.

You should try it out Dieu ... ?

My phone is a total brick with no internet. Much to the mortification of my children

Sorry if this has been answered already, but is bumble free / low cost?

lilacpink40 You can use Bumble perfectly well without paying to upgrade. Go for it!

Thanks Pringle, I found with match and zoosk that the free part didn't really allow anything apart from messages saying men are interested in me.

Me too dieu! I'm actually considering upgrading my phone, just so I can try bumble. I am so easily led...

Good look with Ms Knee, Bant!

That's exciting pringle

Logged into bumble and ticked potential matches, guess Ill wait and see what I receive?
Excited, I like having surprises.

How you tell of someone is still married/attached? I have been chatting to one guy for about 3 weeks on and off. I thought right off he was married because he only chats in the day from work but goes quiet every evening and weekends too...sounds bloody obvious yes?

But I've asked him outright and he says he is still married but seperated 6 months ago, living in separate rooms while they sell the house. Says it's awkward there etc and making dating hard. Has his own room, feels like a teenager....all the chat but to me although it sounds plausible and he comes across well it doesn't explain why he never messages at night....

lastnicknamefree I once dated a man living in the same house as his ex. Two words: never again. He was so bloody concerned with making sure she didn't feel bad, I felt utterly rejected.

Coffee Meets Bagel is crap. Bumble is proving more promising though.

Anyone else found any sites/apps with a decent pool of the opposite sex?