Online dating...... where have all the good men gone? Thread 110.

[Evilwater]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Although this is not auto-renewal - I have the right within a 14 day cooling off period to cancel. Just can't find a way to tell them that.

trickycat

Per the T&Cs...

Article 3. Your right to cancel under The Consumer Contracts Regulations 2013

This section applies to you if you are a “consumer” as defined under The Consumer Contracts (Information, Cancellation and Additional Charges) Regulations 2013.

You have the right to cancel your contract for the Services within fourteen days from the date of placing your initial order for a Subscription (“Cancellation Period”), by using the contact form or writing to our customer care team whose postal address is PO Box 64197, London, WC1A 9FG, UK. If you cancel your contract for the Services during the Cancellation Period, we shall reimburse you for all payments received from you.

All reimbursements shall be made to you within fourteen days and using the same means of payment you used for the initial transactions, unless you have expressly agreed otherwise.

Cancellation rights under this Article only apply to your initial order for a Subscription and do not apply to Subscription renewals.

In agreeing to these Terms and Conditions, you expressly request that we provide you with the Services immediately and within the fourteen day statutory Cancellation Period.

Pretty sure you accept an offer when you put the letter in the post, rather than when it's received by the other end. Not sure how it works when it comes to cancellations (not a lawyer) but until someone comes along with some better advice, it's worth a shot posting a letter tomorrow at your post office and getting proof of posting.

Thank you Pringlecat, a letter is a good idea. I have been going round in circles for the past hour trying to find this contact form which I don't think exists.

I have cancelled the subscription and will follow it up with a letter.
Thanks again.

Pringle - so had Mr 2 been sending you messages that you hadn't received? Hope that's the case and the next date happens soon!

Forme2016 Yes, he sent me copies of all the missing texts! I was just about to unmatch with him too, so if he had tried messaging via the app any later, I would never have got the message asking if I'd got any of his texts.

I'm glad I get to see him again (if nothing else, I am not done with kissing that man!) but also that I will be seeing him after deciding that I didn't need to see him and I was OK with that.

Not quite Miss Havisham yet!

Pringle - pleased that you heard back from him. Great news.

I changed my profile pic earlier. Just to a full length one of me in scruffy the shirt and jeans. My usual look. I can't believe how many views I suddenly got. It went crazy.

I've had a few messages from blokes who seem to think that because the site says we're a good match I have to chat to them. I pointed out to one that we have opposing political views and that was a deakbreaker for me, but he persevered. Had some more sleazy vibes from some too. There's one that seems OK, so I'm wondering about meeting him. Other than that I may leave it till new year.

On okc can you hide your profile temporarily?

pringle & evil i think that will help. Thank you. It is brutal. It's nice to be back anyway.
boxing last time I saw him I thought everything was great! Not dwelling on it any more. Looking forward to your update!
last that's exciting! You're the prize And you too pringle, and evil too!!
evil my red flag radar defaults to super sensitive too. Just have to live with it. The right man will understand.
Mother
tricky I was a bit over 14 days when I got through on phone and they refunded me. Good luck.

Oh Pringle, that was a close thing then!!! So glad he got in touch - how romantic OI, me?? Yup!!

Although all my family and friends know about Mr 31 and his Mum knows, we don't interact on FB very much. Well it's my birthday today and he's posted s lovely message So it all feels quite public now.

Happy birthday Mrsfluff hope you have a lovely day

morning all
happy b'day MrsFluff (are you getting engaged here?)
faffalotty you can hide - disable - make sure you don't delete as that erases it completely. When you disable people who had already spoken to you or bookmarked you will see you have deleted it

off to read the last pages now

pringle yay! Gosh, what a roller coaster. So glad he persisted- he's obviously keen!

mrsfluff happy birthday! Lovely of Mr31 to post.

Another dud first date yesterday. Having 2 on consecutive days has worn me out. He was attractive and animated but a bit too animated- he said he had ADHD and whilst separated, he still lived in the same house as his wife but it was cool to bring women back as long as his child was asleep. . . That alone is a no from me- far too complicated.

So it all rests on another first date tomorrow with mrbeard. Had barely any messages though which is a bit annoying, especially as I've pulled in favours re childcare. Oh well, if he bails I can get on with buying Xmas presents and getting a tree!

Supposedly going to a Xmas fair later but I think Mr no commitment might be there. I've been thinking of him a lot this week. I think it's because I've had 5 dud first dates in the past fortnight so rose tinted glasses are making him look more of a catch ( which he is not- need to remind myself of that repeatedly!).

Evil I asked about sarcastic humour as I think it's the one that divides more people than other humours. I find unusual things funny, more dry / observational, sarcasm can be a bit passive-agressive. Not always, but if it's directed at people it can be a put down. Being nervous may have made him axt differently to normal, so meeting again would be good.

aww guys, you are so sweet, sorry for lack of loo update, since my last msg it all happened really fast. I'm afraid I went to se my fab instead.
Time for a shrink I think

I meant fwb

Claw hold your nerve, don't look back.

Pringle I hoped something like that had happened. You knew he liked you so had to be an obstacle in the way.

Pringle you could see the other iron for a brief date, just in case Mr Two has negative issues and you find out on date 3?

I second what lilac says, pringle yes ok there is a contact but keep your feet on the ground and options going. Nothing tangible has happened yet ;)

Thanks lilac. He mAde me endlessly anxious with all his blowing hot and cold. I need to focus on that.

Glad to hear things are going well for you. Logistics are hard aren't they? My children live with me all the time so realistically anyone who I end up dating wouldn't see me that much until I felt comfortable enough to introduce them to the children ( a long way down the line).

timing, logistics... all very tricky, and to the detriment of spontaneity
I can (the geek in me too) see the patterns very clearly with new irons the ear ly part of the week (when obi the weekend dates didn't work out that well and back they all are) So on monday you get 100 msg, with a few you chat, they do the same as you do and speak to a few.... so many childless people go for coffees lunch drinks and so on by the time you have come around the idea, organised childcare, all the prep that goes into looking half decent ... not sure where I am going with this but you get the gist

Boxing yes I know what you mean. Spontaneity can rarely happen when you are the main carer of DCs. When you mix two DC carers together it gets even harder. I really want more time with my iron. Not just for mooseburgers but to 'hang out'. I remember pre-DCs the bit where you like each other and it's good just to chat and become friends. I miss the ease of being with someone.

Claw I'm glad that my iron has his own DCs as at least he knows about commitment and it's ok that I'm not that free. I have wondered at what stage do people introduce DCs?

Mrsfluff Happy Birthday! Things sound great with Mr 31. I hope you have a fabulous day.

faffalotty Mrsfluff Clawdeen Lilacpink40 BoxingHelena I'm just so glad it wasn't in my head. It didn't feel right, him not getting in touch. He's meant to be away so I won't see him for a bit, but I can relax knowing that he does actually want to see me.

Clawdeen Ah, sorry you've had so many duds. You're surely due a good one soon...

Lilacpink40 How old are your DCs, how friendly are things with their father and how did they take you separating (if they were old enough to have an opinion)? I think it's a combination of factors.

Lilacpink40 BoxingHelena If I hear from Mr Sporadic today, I'll downgrade him to coffee rather than lunch and meet him tomorrow. Coffee is barely a date, it's just a meeting. And I suspected he wanted to chat to me about a shared business interest anyway, which is totally unromantic.

lilac I have yet to introduce anyone to my DC to the point that I get teased for not having a boyfriend. From what I hear it starts with seeking the person home with discretion - but that depends on age of DC and their sleeping habits...
I would think that if you want to hung out together it will be inevitable that as some point you all go out to the park, the cinema, lunch...so everybody knows who is who, but no direct experience in that sense.
The only time I had a first date with a local dad, my dc and his, was so awkward. Now when we bump into each other the kids talk but we don't
My dc still think he was a plummer

have a lovely day, off to do the xmas things
( with a very sore back )