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Original poster

Online dating...... where have all the good men gone? Thread 110.

999 replies

Evilwater · 12/11/2016 21:18

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP
OP posts:
BoxingHelena · 02/12/2016 12:23

maybe I should postpone to sunday

genuineguy · 02/12/2016 13:41

Boxing - don't postpone, he may take it that you aren't that interested...

BoxingHelena · 02/12/2016 16:22

quite the opposite, I may pass out between now an then
ok keep breathing and think of England

pringlecat · 02/12/2016 16:28

AintThatSomething Change your settings for a really big geographic range and age range, look at the numbers in your match queue, then narrow the settings... Look at the numbers, fiddle with the settings etc... You can figure out which demographic you're having the most luck with!

BoxingHelena Be brave and don't rearrange. Fingers crossed it goes well!

AintThatSomething · 02/12/2016 16:59

pringle that's a fun game Grin young ones here too.I guess there must be more of them statistically speaking?? Maybe I should move my settings down the way a bit, but I always think why would they want a 40 year old.

Does their location change if they are visiting somewhere near you? I sometimes get people tat's things say they live far away coming up within my distance range Confused

pringlecat · 02/12/2016 17:14

AintThatSomething I think the location is based on where you both are at that point in time, so if you play with Bumble when you're at work or at home, you get very different results...

pringlecat · 02/12/2016 17:19

AintThatSomething How young have you gone to? (40/2)+7 = 27 = why not? Grin

Mrsfluff · 02/12/2016 17:52

Ain't I had exactly the same thoughts, why would they want a 40 year old. They do seem to though, so why fight it Wink

ThomasRichard · 02/12/2016 18:11

Maybe for the same reason a 27 year-old woman would be interested in a 40 year-old man? I'm 28 and my settings go up to 40 Grin

lastnicknamefree · 02/12/2016 18:19

Hmm so after last nights "date/non date" my iron has gone quiet! Confused

So either he's musing what to do or think next, is undecided or on the fence or unsure how I feel or of course much more likely I made it really obvious I was trying to move things out of the friend zone when he wasn't interested and hes embarrassed and feeling awkward now Blush

So I've sent him a message asking him what's wrong and if I've said or done something to offend him. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask, we've been chatting constantly the past week or more and known each other a month so if nothing else I'd like to think we could be friends.

Now the nervy wait for a reply! Confused

pringlecat · 02/12/2016 18:38

lastnicknamefree I hope you get a reply. I think when they go quiet, they often stay quiet... Will be thinking of you. The waiting is awful!

lastnicknamefree · 02/12/2016 18:55

pringle he messaged me straight back saying "don't be daft, just has a monstrous day at work because one off sick, one left to have a baby"

Sounds ok!...
Am thinking maybe I might be a little bit interested after all....

pringlecat · 02/12/2016 19:29

lastnicknamefree Ooh! Promising... Smile

motheroreily · 02/12/2016 20:00

Hi Everyone I've not been on for a week and need to catch up!

I rejoined Facebook (after leaving two years ago) to go on tinder and I hate it! I have no willpower and end up torturing myself looking at people I shouldn't look at and it just knocks my confidence.

I have a date two weeks ago with someone I met on a night out and I didn't hear from them again.

I keep thinking about the ons I had. Why did I even do that. He couldn't be bothered to make an effort and cancelled plans etc but still messages me every now again. I really think I need to value myself more. If I did I wouldn't have stayed in my awful marriage for as long as I did well I wouldn't have got married to him in the first place!

Sorry for the long post. I'm feeling down being alone on a Friday night it helps to get it out.

genuineguy · 02/12/2016 21:14

Mother - you're not the only one at home on a Friday night!!
We are all waiting for Boxing to provide a loo update!! 😃😃

motheroreily · 02/12/2016 21:18

Oooo I'll wait to hear in anticipation!

wideboy26 · 02/12/2016 21:31

What is a loo update?

Original poster
Evilwater · 02/12/2016 22:19

Guess who is coming to meet me on Saturday nite?
It's mr friend.
Eek.....

OP posts:
Lilacpink40 · 02/12/2016 22:28

Another one here home on a Friday. At the end of a working week being home and relaxing is bliss (I think).

Man I'm dating is still keen and I'm keen on him, but there are still practical things to get around. I think it could work, but free time to see each other could be a real problem. It's the same problem I'd have in any relationship as my ex has kids so little.Sad

Evil I think your red flags are things that would also worry me. Particularly different sense of humours. Does he like sarcasm or a put-down type of humour?

Where's Boxing's date update?

Forme2016 · 02/12/2016 22:37

Another one in on Friday night, but I've made a conscious decision to come off OLD until after Christmas. I'd only been doing it for about six weeks and had several first dates (no spark) and a couple of second/third dates - one of which ghosted me his loss and one who I really liked but somehow fizzled out Confused

Anyway I've been feeling proper fed up as it's my first Christmas since splitting with EXH and I'm avoiding party invitations so I'm really not much fun at the moment, need a new year, new attitude and new start!

Evil were those red flags for Mr Unsuitable rather than Mr Friend?? I'm sure you wouldn't be meeting on Sunday if it was the latter

I'm also seriously looking out for Boxing's loo update!!!!

Original poster
Evilwater · 02/12/2016 22:58

I think my radar goes into over drive everytime I meet a new guy. My radar looks for the smallest of hint of a red flag. It's not an official date, more of a meet up.
I guess I'm giving him a second chance. I can be 100% sure on weather to take this forward,

OP posts:
Original poster
Evilwater · 02/12/2016 22:59

His humour is sarcasm.

OP posts:
pringlecat · 03/12/2016 00:26

Well, I was out out on a Friday night, but with a gay man, so I got about as much action as the rest of you!

So, I have an update... Mr Two messaged me through Bumble because he didn't think I was getting his texts.

We're now trying to arrange a third date. Grin

I'm not sure whether it's fair to still see Mr Sporadic. I clearly am not into him...

trickycat · 03/12/2016 00:33

Please help - I signed up to Match but want to cancel before the 14 days is up (which will be on Sunday) I found info saying I need to apply for a reimbursement and a link to a contact form but the link doesn't work. Phone no says office is shut til Monday. What can I do?