Online dating...... where have all the good men gone? Thread 110.

[Evilwater]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

pringlecat I've had that too

Waiting for a reply is excruciating...

some more constructive advice on how to get the (up their own arse) one you fancy --- play long game, do not immediately text first, visit profile (not obsessively) very now and then, if you have settings that allow you, hide yourself from them / look off line..... upload a new photo, see if they check it out - if not visit again - add an extra funny line - updates something i.e. search setting, whatever
on a busy night select the s e x option - or whatever they call it on your site - hook ups etc... that sure get attention - than take it off because such up their own arse type do not contact for sex only (as if........)
if they still don't bate, give it a few move visits --- a) send a msg the system keeps showing me your profile, what are they trying to tell me? "
b) forget about it ;-)

pringlecat what answer are you expecting
darling don't be so impatient :-))
if you were dating me you would go absolutely mad, I'm so slow in replying

BoxingHelena Oh, I know I'm being impatient. It's just after all the first dates that went well and then led to nothing, I am plagued with fear this one will also vanish on me! I currently have no logical reason to think he's not interested, but OLD messes with your head...

Lilac & super he gave me a quick call last night on his way home from work and asked to see me tomorrow so that's date 4 booked in he doesn't live far from me (he's in town centre) so might suggest he comes over this way and we just go to pub for bite to eat (like we did for 2nd date) thinking taking going to each other's houses right off the table for the moment

Barb - it happens to all men at some point (liars if they say it doesn't)..a number of reasons; you might be the first since a breakup, pressure of knowing you haven't had mooseburgers in a long time and it could last 20 seconds, drink can have an adverse affect (opposite in my case! 😜)... get him to feel relaxed, no pressure or expectation and I'm sure it'll happen!

Hi ladies - and gents now it seems

Just checking in. Trying to read about 15 pages that i've missed. Eek pringle - this is exciting

OLD is still taking a back seat for me after finishing with the Toyboy but I think im nearly ready to give it a proper go ... slowly slowly and all that

Barb sounds good. I've had mooseburgers where a man can't finish and in some ways that's as bad as it's awkward to say "can we stop now please"?

Why not plan something low key at yours or his soon, but maybe watching a film or having a meal? No need to move things on then. If he feels more confident, however, things could suddenly happen

If he offers to do anything physical for you why not accept it, as maybe he would be more relaxed then?

Looby are you worried about anything in particular or just fed up with the initial meeting games?

datingbarb I agree with everyone else about temporarily taking mooseburgers off the table!

Hope is fading. Although, Mr Two has previously messaged quit recently late at night, so not totally gone yet. If nothing by the end of today, I'll set up that first date with Mr Sporadic after all.

Pringle what if Mr Two has gone around to visit a friend this evening?
Many people think it's fine to text in evening when there's a quiet time to think.
You have space and may think the worst, he could be somewhere looking forward to contacting you later. Why not send a brief, friendly message e.g. "Good catching up yesterday looking forward to catching up soon" ?

Lilacpink40 Things ended well yesterday in person and via text. I sent him a text this morning to suggest a third date and no reply. So, the ball is already in his court.

I don't think it's possible to not think the worst with OLD, given how illogically some people behave!

Pringle I'm exactly the same, I'd prefer more contact than you've had today, but I know there are times when it is hard to message, e.g. working going straight onto family, or phone issues. If he doesn't message by end of day that is bad of him as he obviously said he was interested, and he must have some time to message today. Is it worth texting at around 7-8ish if no reply to see if he's received message? Some texts fail with no visible notification.

Pringlecat I would wait out a day or two, sometimes other day to day stuff can get in the way. He is probably playing Mr Cool & hopefully you will get response soon : )

Update. I have dinner date with Mr POF Sunday. He seems genuine & messages lots, i like the sound of him.

Hmmm... we shall see & I will report back after said date.

Just out of interest and I'll try to reply I don't often get rude messages but if I give out my phone number then I can get some rude abusive ones (the other day), I've now thought and what does everyone else think, if they ask to go to phone numbers soonish should I say no?

But I have had men with a hatred of women (the Italian stallion poet) - ooh that one was not only hating of women but also a distrust of life in general and various depressive illnesses... And he wrote and then published online re his exes, and did about me too! Eek! Really easy to see when mine was and who it was because it was quite pointed and caustic and days after we broke up... The trouble with that though is you can't spot them straight away at all.

Pringle Mr Political will have to wait until I'm back from a long weekend away and after I've started a new job next Monday!

If I were you Pringle I'd see other irons as well as Number Two only because men can and do go off the radar so easily and with no rhyme or reason to it either!

rosie good luck with dinner date.

barb pub dinner casual sounds perfect with Mr Floppy (sorry!)

BoxingHelena your ideas sound good but I hate playing games.... Still if it works...

pringle hold fire and wait!

Update - since ending it with Widower I don't even miss his daily texts! Normally after that sort of convo going on weeks, months etc I if liked them I miss them and I sort of did last time or felt I'd been too hasty, this time I was fine, set out what and how I felt and totally unemotional! Although I feel sorry for him being a widower his child care etc issues are his and nothing to do with me!

SuperFlyHigh Numbers soonish. But not your personal number - I use a disposable one. Protection from crazies.

Pringle just checking back in to see if you've had a reply?

If not by end of day tomorrow then Mr Two is a twat as acted very keen I'd go ahead with Mr Sporadic, who may be less sporadic when you've met in person.

Lilacpink40 Nothing. I don't get it. Thinking about sending a second text, but let's face it, if he wanted to contact me, he would have done. If he was really that keen, he would have been checking his phone and he would have replied.

I am far too intelligent to let any man define my self-worth. Probably.

Evening all. I don't post much now, but still reading. It's fab to see so many dates happening.

It's still going strong with Mr 31. We see each other about 3 times a week and he stays over a couple of nights. It's my birthday on Saturday and we have lots of nice plans. We're also looking to book a holiday in Feb. Life is good!

Mrsfluff It sounds like you have it made. So happy for you and it's nice to see you still visiting us in this thread!

Right, I've decided not to text Mr Two again and put him in a box. Hopefully he'll get in touch. But I'm not going to chase it. I have my dignity. He seemed quite laid back so maybe he just has zero concept of how BLOODY AGONISING it is waiting for a response when you've put yourself out there. Either way, I am not chasing this.

He really did seem genuinely lovely and into me though.

Pringle - good for you, agonising as it is you need to maintain your distance and dignity. I actually find it quite rude if someone who normally responds quickly then doesn't. It sends quite a clear message doesn't it? Hope you're ok.

Mrs fluff, so pleased to hear that things are still going well for you and 31

Is anyone watching First Dates and First Dates Abroad on TV?

I think it's really interesting how neither party seems to know if the other person fancies them or not. More often than not, both parties thing the other party fancies them but neither party fancies the other much.

I think manners get in the way in these situations!

I haven't texted AudiDriver for two weeks now since we last met and he hasn't chased me so I think it's slowly fading away. Shame but I don't think it ever had legs. I miss his bulging biceps though!

can anyone help?
sometime the thread opens as one long scroll, sometime as numbered pages, how can I control that? I prefer set to pages

singleandfabulous Ooh, is there a new season? I love First Dates. The programme, that is - I hate actual first dates!

I really want to text Mr Two. This is driving me mad. It was a really good second date and there is no logical reason why he would ghost me.

Someone please talk me down...