Online dating...... where have all the good men gone? Thread 110.

[Evilwater]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Hahaha!! faff that's brilliant! I went back to check but strangely enough I'd deleted him too- can't think why!

lilac haha- can you imagine his excitement? Actually I don't want to think about his 'excitement'!

pringle goodness! Have been reading the thread through and getting over date 1 and bumble breaking and then the latest updates Brilliant! Have you been shouting out loud that you are the prize?!

super interesting that you say you've had 2 bad relationships where you didn't fancy the guy at first. It was only reading that that made me realise that applies to me too. Gosh. Both times I was relentlessly pursued by guys I didn't fancy and eventually caved, got attached and then got treated unbelievably badly. I hadn't made the connection before! I think my problem in RL is that I don't seem to encounter many men in my day to day life and socially I go out to the cinema/theatre/restaurants with a group of girl friends so we never get approached. I've got a Christmas fair this weekend but it's a school one so the stall holders will be fellow mums and any men there will likely be their husbands!

Pringle number 2 could be the ideal man. It's great you were proactive and got your number to him. Better still if he rearranges his day for you. Sounds like a romantic film - Obstacles in the way yet you still meet.

I think I have seen Mr Snow too
if the sheer amount of pervs wants enough, lot of them have a vanilla profile too

mind you, I am perving on really young men at the moment

Pringle & super it really was fine with me no issues with it at all it was all a little to planned to be honest and we both agreed it was over thought and should just happen naturally. Since then though (Sunday) I keep wondering if things are still cool with us, he kept apologising for it and saying he couldn't believe I was still sat there with him after, told him it was cool and no issues and if he wanted me to leave then I would but he said he didn't after I left that evening and got home we spoke about it via text and he thanked me for understanding and said how much he liked me and loved spending time with me and the following morning he gave me a call and all was good but we don't have another date set in stone just a kind of day later this week that will work for both of us, where as dated 1,2 and 3 were arranged and agreed as soon as the previous date finished so I'm stupidly finding myself over analysing any texts etc...... stupid I know but just can't help it... think I need to take a breath and take a step back

Blobby and Ark I've only been using OLD for 4 months and overall think it's good. It's hard to meet single men in RL and it's good to chat with men first.

My initial advice would be to try to get useful details to cyberstalk and check them out. First name and place of work can often help to get a surname then on FB you can usually tell if they're in a relationship / look normal. Some men are happy to share FB info before meeting.

Seeing Mr Two this evening. Wish me luck! First second date!

pringle don't be so cryptic ..... PRIZE ?!?!??

barb as his confidence is probably low, why don't you suggest low-key date this week?

One of my dates couldn't hold on for more than 2 min had issue, but next time was great. I think it's a sign he may really like you and just be nervous about messing it up.

lilac thanks for those tips!

Definitely worried about getting too caught up too quickly. One guy messaged me straight back and now he's not replying. Why?! lol I know it's ridiculous

oops, pringle crossed messages
cool! go, girl
firmly on that plymph ...
( unlike me miss deliveridoo ) :-)))

boxing what's a plymph?
pringle spill! And good luck
barb fingers crossed

This is a first for me Dancing Queen has deleted and blocked me on LinkedIn (I've not had any contact with her on there) I presume it's same with her phone number...should I be worried that she might cause issues at the classes we go to...I've done nothing wrong other than try to keep my distance at classes

Genuine for your own good I'd give up over thinking about DQ. She's not causing issues by blocking you she's just moved on. You have done something to do with classes as you told us at the Christmas do that you watched her interacting with several other men then told a mutual friend that you were worried /anxious or something similar. Then she asked you not to talk about her.

Try looking for new opportunities.

Genuine listen to Lilac, change class too, really, just do it

Evil a lymph is that thing, a sort of column , where you put a very precious (prize) work of art on display

ifs ! plymph---- not lymph !

I've deleted her number now.. can't change classes nearest other one is an hour away, plus I've made some good friends at this one..

Plinth?

Pedestal?

yes, that's it

oh well done GUY, codependency its never good for the soul

Update:

Love it Pringle!

Arkkorox With most of the men I've dated, I could tell you their full names and where they work. I'm also quite wary and have vetted them all to make sure their stories add up - happy to message you privately with some advice if you're worried about screening someone who might be around your DD.

genuineguy Well done on stepping back. If you don't want to give up this class because of the friends you have there, have you considered maybe doing a similar one elsewhere on a different day too? Might be way to meet some new people with similar interests.

So, ladies (and gents)... I HAD A NORMAL SECOND DATE.

He rearranged his plans to see me, we had a lovely time, then as we went to say goodbye, he looked me in the eyes like he thought I was the prize and went for it. Many kisses were had.

Yeah, I think he likes me.

Oh yes, and it's plinth. The view from the plinth is lovely. Come join me. Whatever happens next, I now know the difference between a man looking at me like I'm OK and like I'm the prize. Confidence regained!

So, what do I do about Mr Sporadic? I'm supposed to be meeting him on Sunday. I need to tell him my number has been changed - he currently can't get in touch with me.

I don't really want to meet Mr Sporadic now. Well, I do, but in a friendly kind of way. I can't go for lunch with a strange man in a friendly kind of way, can I?

I don't feel like juggling any other irons at the moment. What to do?