Online dating...... where have all the good men gone? Thread 110.

[Evilwater]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Thanks Bruno but I know a number of male friends who can escort me without additional extras like "massage" and without costing an arm and a leg.

Boxing this one with Cutie wasn't even a second date!

But what you say makes sense re ghosting!

Re Widower I have to ask him outright this weekend! Re dates or not. Meh he keeps texting though.

Have been chatting to someone who wants sex via Tinder not really what I want and not my type re profession etc but I may meet him.

Love struck are offering a deal re dating may subscribe.

Boxing re your 3 options 1 and 2 I wouldn't bother with especially not texting etc. 3 I'd meet for a drink.

datingbarb glad you have a third date and I can see your confusion.

Super How does one have sex via tinder?

I'm guessing there are some vital commas missing there!

Haha! The 'sex via tinder' made me laugh too!

Bant sorry he was after sex eg started off normal then changed to wanting a booty call then backtracked! Basically he was seeing Tinder as a hook up site, so he seemed to say!

I'm ignoring! Should have been warned by pic of his on a beach lifting his top to show a 6 pack!

super is that the code then? Any hint of naked skin in the photos is a sign that they're after sex?

I was just doing the quick match thing on OKC in the hairdressers when a profile pic came up of a man's hand around a very large erection! I am far from being a prude but I was quite shocked. I thought the sites screened the photos? Clearly not! My hairdresser found it amusing though!

Blimey! I've seen a few naked ones, but from an angle where you can't anything.

I received a notification from okc this morning that 1 of my photos had been reported as inappropriate and had been removed. It was a scenery photo that I'd added (not as profile pic) just to give an idea of what I like. I've seen scenery, pets etc. on other people's profiles so I thought it was ok.

Bit extreme of someone to report it I thought. And yet an erect penis is ok...

Clawdeen the income thing is a bloody minefield. I fully expect to meet somebody normal not a millionaire but when I dated one guy who literally said if we go bowling he couldn't eat for a week I did knock it on the head. Nice guy but you couldn't imagine a life with him

clawdeen it's not the code (he didn't say sex but when I asked him what he was after he said "we should have our own party" and I said "I'm not on tinder for hookups" but he backtracked after that.... Tried to talk nicely.

I do find it they do chest shots etc they're more than likely after something physical rather than a relationship.

faffalotty which pic was that then? I do wonder after what clawdeen wrote re the erection pic how the modifiers work, is it "oh they can keep the erection one but let's delete her sultry looking one"

Pissseddoff income for me too is key, current man is ocado delivery driver, seems nice, Widower is a trainer for a financial services company but also studying to be an IFA. I do prefer to meet people who are either in same income bracket as me or can afford eg trips away, not have to count the pennies etc.

So far this year have dated journalist, IT specialist and admin/IT for a charity. Oh and admin support for local government, but he complained about being broke all the time and wanted me to sub Him part of first date! Oh and had hedge fund man (the one who stood me up) i think there are others I've forgotten about!

It was just a photo of fields and trees. No people in it.

I'm avoiding financial services men, tighter than a ducks Arse in my experience.

faffalotty a pic of fields and trees was rejected?! The moderator must be a guy- with the warped view that no man would be interested in a field yet all us women would be gagging to see an erect naked penis with their morning cuppa!

pissedoff super yes, I agree with you re income, it's so tricky. I'm hoping as tonight's date suggested and booked a restaurant that it won't be a problem but he's obviously worrying.

super can't believe your date wanted you to sub him! Did he pay you back?

I've 90 minutes until the babysitter arrives and I'm snuggled in my dressing gown on the sofa with my kids. I need to gear myself up. It's so cold outside! I'm seriously considering wearing thermal tights on the date- how sexy is that?!!

Here's the message I received. Followed by a list of pictures you're not allowed to post

I mean a list of reasons. So for mine the reason was I wasn't in the photo.

Porn or nudity was another reason.

I can see their point in blocking it though. What's the point of pictures of scenery on a dating profile?

As for the knobshot, well I'm presuming it's still there because no one has actually reported it? They don't have people scrolling through all the photos to spot nudity (or scenery), they only do that when someone reports it.

Super - did that guy said he'd pay for the whole thing and then ask for a loan, or did you go Dutch and then he said he couldn't afford even that?

Another possible success story for anyone needed a boost.
I decided to give it another go with Mr Tinder after a not so successful date and it's going really well. He's lovely an has stayed over twice this week. Early early days but........

Bant and Clawdeen this was ages ago i think may or early summer. Anyway went for a drink, he bought 1 or 2 rounds of drinks. Then we went to a bar and as soon as it came to paying he made up some lame excuse as not having been paid yet... Could I pay? I said ok. Then next minute (an hour or so later date going well, he'd kissed me) he said he could buy me a drink after all and did then when I was hungry on way home and got McDs I ended up buying him a burger too. So he didn't exactly not pay but didn't suggest going Dutch or anything! It was strange. I didn't mind paying for drinks but he went all embarrassed and said he couldn't afford to buy me a drink (at second bar) so I got them for him. Either first or second round at the second bar. I caught him out one time too, he claimed he was "too broke" to go out for a drink with me, yet that weekend I saw him at a local festival drinking, I challenged him on it and it was "my friends bought me drinks", same excuse the other night, preferred me to come to his (I didn't mind) which would lead to sex (which was crap anyway).

Pissedoff so do you think Widower who's financial services will be tight then??!!

Clawdeen I have to say the finances part of it would worry me, surely any decent man embarking on dating knows he has to go Dutch or treat (yes I know old fashioned) on a date? I'd hate to be checking the prices everywhere for a meal. That reminds me of an ex from a few years back, we went out for drinks on second date and I took him to a nice cocktail bar in London as he wasn't from London, either during or after the date he said something along the lines of not doing the cocktails thing too much, yet in the future with me if it was a place he really liked he was more than happy to splash the cash there. Note a place he really liked!

Re the photo - I thought that was what you were meant to do. Other people have pics of pets, motorbikes cars, places. I thought they're meant to create an idea of the person rather than just a pic of yourself. Obviously got that wrong!
Can't understand why someone would feel the need to report it though.

Yeah, it's a bit dickish to report photos of scenery.

But what's the point of a photo of scenery. A car is at least something that belongs to the person - presumably. It makes the point 'I have a car' and also 'I have no personality'

A photo of a man holding a fish says 'look, I can catch a fish and know at least one person who can take a picture of me doing it'

Cupcakes - I like to bake. Horses - this is my horse.

The ones of people jumping in front of the pyramids says 'I have been to interesting places' and the ones of people posing in their bathroom says 'look, I am attractive/scary, but I have a toilet'

Scenery though - what's the point? It doesn't belong to you and doesn't have you in it.

But yeah, a little weird to report it.

I put it up as example of my photography and also to show what's important to me - nature etc.

I think I'm probably way too naive for this!