Online dating...... where have all the good men gone? Thread 110.

[Evilwater]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

update
Mr 1 still texting but I feel so detached / numb ( not just him, generally - still not gone back to my profile )
Mr 2 -- ment to have a quick drink later (we do not talk/text - see above)
Mr 3 has arranged my friday night (numb as fuck, me) he texts

ah ah pringlecat the name you chose for him Mr Lazy is enough to suggest you de clutter :-)

faffalotty what's wrong with turquoise trousers ?

Mr friendzone was odd last night, he kept asking about what to wear, what type of aftershave to wear, tie or no tie.

I'm so is this a red flag?

did he really mean it or was he just fooling around?
He is not a sub is he? Ya know.... its 10 a penny nowadays

Boxing - Rod Jane and Freddy came to mind

boxing I think he was being a bit serious.
Should I ask if he is a sub? He did say he was a pleaser......

How would I even know? If he was......

ask him if he is after a FLR (female led relationship )
if he knows what that means he may well be
(pleaser is a bit of a synonymous for .... )

EVIL do not listen to me I am old and cynical :-)

evil it may not be a red flag, but it's a bit wet, isn't it? Would you want to be with someone who was always asking for your approval on what to wear?

evil when are you meeting? I'd drop heavy hints about liking a man to take the lead and be decisive etc..

So after 3 days MrUnsuitable had responded to my last and unghosted me. I'm a bit about his message and don't think he's being honest so I'm not responding yet, if at all.

I still have the new match from yesterday's super like who is the 10 years younger iron superman still can't work out if he's taking the pee or genuinely interested but am enjoying flirty banter.

Another more suitable iron has got my interest because he's actually local and seemingly normal (so far) lots of interesting messaging back and forth, need to think of a name. I'd quite like a date with either!

Second Date for me tonight first was Tuesday eve, meet in town few cocktails and my prongs plan of meet for a hour then leave went out the window, had such a good time ended up staying 5 hours!

So tonight he is picking me up and we are going for something to eat really looking forward to it, there was def chemistry and so far he seems very keen and interested

As usual I'm useless at keeping up with you ladies and your irons, but good luck for all those with upcoming dates

Ooh barb so am I right in that you are on a second date with the same guy the day after the first? Good luck and enjoy!

Last Yep first date was Tuesday eve, he asked straight away about second date and I suggested weekend or next week but he was keen to get one sooner so we agreed tonight.

Barb fast working there. Good luck for tonight.

Mr Tall and Mr Smile have been writing through the day, they write similar things so I have to be careful how I respond. Now my 3rd potential has told me lots about his split, genuine regular reasons and that he has a high sex drive. Very distracting as I'm desperate for mooseburgers and his photos make him look hot (or enhanced on PC). I'm wondering whether to try to meet him too. Just for one date.

Lastnick I'd leave it if 3 days with no reasonable explanation i.e. hospital very ill.

Evil can you say that you're watching a film with a man's man type character in it and mention that it's one of your favourites, think the lead is a strong performer?
See if he mans up a bit?
He may think you like sub?

2nd date done and bit confused!

Nice meal, chatted and then he came to mine for a drink and has just left, didn't try to kiss me goodbye or anything where as first date was a bit more drinky so plenty of kissing etc

While out asked if I wanted to see him again said yes and spoke about what to do, agreed ice skating and joked a few times about not being as gropey was our last date and touched my leg a few time and just left saying he would be in touch

So not sure if this is a bad thing since our first date there has been lots of messages/ phone calls etc so feeling a bit deflated tonight now

Oh god. I've done it. I am officially having two first dates back to back on Sunday. I am judging myself massively. But I'm so busy, they'll both probably be awful, and I only have to look beautiful once, rather than making an effort on two days.

datingbarb I would be confused too. But the other sex are weird. That's all I've learned so far.

Lilacpink40 Have you ever been on a date with someone who looks as hot as their photos? Because I haven't.

I think I might need to go to hell ladies
Things with Shy - great. But am worrying that things have gone all serious a bit fast. I'm worried the fun will die...
I have been email flirting with a work man person (as in works for my company) for a long long time. It's nothing of nothing - we don't cross paths anymore and it's just flirty banter now and then. But I feel guilty? It was ok when I was single. Oh he is so hot which doesn't help!
I'm not one for doing these things but it's easy to look on it as just fun. I don't think hot man fancies me I am just funny and it's a distraction on a dull day.

I felt so bad typing it I am going to stop emailing hot man from work!

Hope it's all going well for you ladies (and Bant)

Pringle I think it's a brilliant idea like you say it bloody hard getting yourself ready, kids looked after etc just to go and meet some random you have no idea if you will even like.

And your right men are weird, heard from my iron (Mr Champ) not long after I posted my confused post here, and we have arranged date number 3 for Sunday i jokey mentioned how different he was tonight and he said he didn't want to scare me away and thought he should show his other side. So looking forward to Sunday evening... first time I have ever got to date 3 so fingers crossed

barb that's brilliant! Glad you heard from
him quickly to put your mind at rest. I've not made it to date 3 either so fingers crossed for a fab time.

pringle sounds a very sensible plan and one I've considered myself! Hopefully at least one will be 'normal'

lilac I'd say if you have the time, what have you got to lose in meeting him! Are his photos in black and white? Everyone ( well my huge statistical pool of 3!) that I've met that has had b&w profile pics has looked nowhere near as attractive in real life.

I have a first date with Mrdrums tonight. Typically, I've been awake since 5 for some reason so am hoping I can have a power nap at some point today so I look less haggard and don't start yawning within 5 minutes of meeting! He's been v quiet since quizzing me about some of my answers to the OKCupid questions. Also looking back at his profile, I realise that the photos are a bit blurry and are all from the armpits (!) up so I'm wondering if he's very overweight. Need to have some caffeine and get myself in the right mindset!

Sounds great Barb!

Good luck with yours clawdeen. Which questions was he quizzing you on? There are some weird ones.

After your opinions on whether it is worth paying for okc? Reduced price today.

faffalotty ( great user name btw) I haven't bothered to pay for OKC. What extras do you get? Is it just that you can see likes? You can see who's visited you for free anyway. I'm not sure about paying but partly that's because I'm forking out still for GSM which has been extremely slim pickings!

Yes there are some very weird questions. Not helped by me answering some of them quickly by swiping against a timer ( I get very flustered with a timer!) so it has me down as pro war, pro death penalty etc and I can't find them to correct them! He was worrying about income. I think the question was something like 'how important is it for you that your partner has a high income/earning potential'. I'd put 'somewhat important' and then qualified it by saying I thought it was important our incomes are fairly matched so we can enjoy similar experiences. This has got him really worked up! It's hard. Tbh there are so many questions I wasn't giving them too much thought. This question I did find hard. I'm a single parent and didn't want to come across as a gold digger. Equally, I'm lucky enough to be comfortable and don't want to be constantly subsidising someone else. I've had some men messaging saying that they won't ever go to the cinema as it's too expensive. I do actually want to go out! Anyway this whole issue of money has sent him into a spin. I must say its made me less excited about tonight!