Online dating...... where have all the good men gone? Thread 110.

[Evilwater]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

SuperFlyHigh where can i read about cutie ?
I'll expand on the 'backing off" too

I don't mind them seeing my FB in fact I'd prefer it so they gets feel for my life. You can always block them. Pmsl at the hostage situation, each to their own but not my cup of tea.

Do any of you still chat to guys you've had a date with but not see again? And guys of the thread id appreciate your input on this topic! Met a guy, had one date, unsure on spark (think we both were) and we kind of slow faded each other but since then he hit back in touch on Tinder and we are what's apping. Chat is a few messages most days, not all. He's still friendly but no mention of meeting again so I think we are in the friend zone. But a part of me thinks maybe he's interested but thinks Im not. Do men actually chat regularly with no motive or intention? Thoughts please! I'm getting mixed signals here

Mmmm I guess why not, slow burn is no bad thing. Keep chatting if you're enjoying it see where it goes.

So mr outstanding in bed who declined my Facebook request has been back in touch, promising to make it up to me. Am taking it with a large pinch of salt tbh

One of my now best mates I met on Tinder lastnickname It's purely platonic though. Had a date 2 years ago, realised there was no proper attraction but we've remained friends ever since. We've caught up a couple of times but he now lives in another country now aswell so def nothing but friendship in it

Obv in my case, I was happy just to be friends but if you want more from him, he's clearly still single so you could suggest catching up and take it from there?

Hi everyone! I came out of a 20 yr marriage 6 months ago and was wondering whether to give OLD a go. I read this thread from time to time and it sounds like hard work to me? Is it fun or very frustrating? I am happy on my own but these winter nights are becoming a drag. It sounds to me like you have to put loads of effort in to get very little out. Please give me some hope!

I find the actual OLD process of swiping, messaging and talking to people quite fun Dipping

As with all dates, first dates dating etc, that can be the only down side obviously. As you may not get on, you may like someone more than they like you, they may ghost you and so on. But that could happen with someone you meet on a night out?

I say give it a go, you have nothing to lose. You could meet The One flipping eck, that sounds so cheesy

Dipping, I'm with Looby, I've found it good fun. Chatted to quite a few people and met three. One of whom I'm still friends with and one I'm in the early stages of a relationship with. I loved messaging and getting to know different people, but I appreciate that not everyone feels the same way.

Lovely dates are a lot of fun

I think you get out what you put in. And I've been taken for some lovely meals ... Just saying 😜

Hi everyone. Was on a couple of threads a few weeks back and the lost track and you've filled at least 2 since then! Glad to hear everything's still going well for Mrs fluff and 31 and user and shy.

Is anyone else finding bumble quite glitchy? I keep getting messages asking if I want to backtrack (I don't) and can't get rid of them to continue swiping/ messaging unless i log out of the app completely. Very annoying!

Hi sumo, thank you! How're you getting on?

Lastnick - he's probably still interested in another date and is just waiting to see if you are too!

What's a good first message to send?

I've done the read the profile and mention something in it and don't seem to get any responses.
Tried Bumble but so far....nothing!!

Lastnick I'm friends on FB with man I dated for few months from OLD. I'd keep chat going if you enjoy it, at worse you'll get to try another date or gain a friend?

Pringle what's wrong with you that you don't want a bound and gagged man? who an earth helped him with that photo?

Genuine I'd continue with the mention something from profiles and start with a Good morning / good evening.

Sumo buble has glitched for me. You could uninstall are reinstall?

I'm seeing another first date tomorrow, but already thinking I liked last night's date a lot.

Lilacpink40 still go ahead with "safety-net" date ;-)
I had a good one last night, but already feeling a bit of nerves for mr(2)
I also have the following day mr(3) treating me for dinner

I really would like to learn more about you all but I guess is like starting to watch a soap it will take me sometime ? I am loving it tho :-)

Is everybody mainly looking for a relationship or (torrid love affairs) ons or a bit a both ?

•Lilacpink40 •
are you talking to him today?

mrmuso has been in touch, I have been quiet

Thanks for the feedback everyone.

Still going to do it (no photos but send a link to my facebook), but at least understand that it'll potentially be seen as weird. Want someone laid back and empathetic, so if my approach and explanation aren't enough then that's not the worst thing that could happen.

Will report back the results.

BoxingH I'm looking for a serious, but fun too, relationship. How about you?

Both irons (potentials) are writing regularly. I've forgotten what I was originally going to call them so I'm I'm calling one Mr Tall and the other Mr Smile.

Ontheair good luck with your profile.

I only wanted a relationship. No ONS

Good luck ladies!

I wanted some fun and a relationship.

OntheAir good luck. I second the comment other have made. I wouldn't like it to be honest. Also make your first contact about "them" not about yourself

well unless you are US based, it seems to be the standard approach (an a4 page about themselves that no one will ever read)

Cheers Lilac and BoxingH. Will soon find out.

I now have a third man writing to me on What's app. Nothing happened for what felt like ages and I started to think I will be alone at Christmas and don't care and now have three in one go. Just as I enjoy it I bet they'll all turn out to be crazy. New man works in the same large company as me but no DCs so not sure we'll have much in common. Nice photos so I'll chat to not over invest in Mr Tall who I've decided since FB stalking I really fancy.

lilac wow! Always good to have choice. Fingers crossed for you.

Well I joined OKCupid 10 days ago and so far 10 men that have messaged me/been chatting with have suddenly disabled their account!! Am I scaring them?!

Had a coffee date lined up for Friday but he's cancelled as he has to go to the police station . . .

Have another first date on Friday night- Mrdrums-he's booked a place for dinner but is suddenly panicking about some of my answers to the OKCupid questions.

I've also been asked for drinks on Friday by another guy I've been chatting too ( though we've only exchanged a couple of messages, I'd prefer a few more to get a feel). I'll call him MrLaw. I had a crazy idea that I could try and arrange them back to back to maximise use of my babysitter. However this morning I think that might be totally bonkers- I'd most likely arrive on the second date tipsy, exhausted and late!