Online dating...... where have all the good men gone? Thread 110.

[Evilwater]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

SuperFlyHigh I am terrible, I say nothing, I am the very annoying type who always answer their questions with a question... I never even disclose my real name......

but you know what it is like, before date 1 you cannot do anything wrong, if they like you and before shag 1, still you cannot do anything wrong............ after is all a new kind of story ;-)

BoxingHelena A prospective suitor. As in, 'I have X number of irons in the fire.'

Boxing Helena, what makes you say you MUST back off after a successful first date? I've blown that then!!

I agree about the holiday stuff though

Just to get some wise perspective, what is the general consensus on men that keep initiating the conversation on whatsapp but then take forever to reply once the conversation has started? With forever I mean anything between one hour to days..

I find that attitude really confusing

Another new (male) poster. Hello!

Been lurking here for some perspective and it's given me the kick up the arse I needed to get involved.

So, have setup a PoF profile. I haven't included photos as I work Acer 14" Chromebook 14 Intel Celeronit's vulnerable women and know a number are on PoF. My plan is to include my Facebook profile when messaging people. Is this even possible?

I haven't the slightest clue what computer spec is doing in there. Apologies.

Try and ignore the Acer Chromebook nonsense and the rest should be half-coherent.

Thanks last and pisssed. going to try to enjoy it but take it slowly. :-)

Can I ask you lovely people for advice. I'm having date 4 with a man tomorrow. Dates 1 and 2 were drinks, date 3 was cinema followed by mooseburgers back at mine and date 4 he's coming over tomorrow night for dinner. We've been texting every evening and getting on great. He mentioned by text yesterday that it was his birthday yesterday. My question is should I get him a present?? I think it's a bit early tbh but at the same time I'd like to mark it. I was just thinking of a book - one of his sporting heroes has released an autobiography recently so I was thinking of that. Nothing too personal or grand. What do you think??

I got mine a book so I would say yes. It wasn't expensive but he was touched and I really like him and want him to know I do and that I took the time to get something actually a little bit meaningful, but not some huge gesture

Thanks myusername, that's exactly what I was thinking. Nothing ott but a gesture to mark it all the same.

Hey all

OnTheAir - do you mean you aren't going to include any photos at all on your profile?

sammy I'd get him a book if you know his taste (and he reads) or maybe a nice bottle of wine.

I am really getting pissed off with widower I think I may call it a day... He's so busy too busy and I can't be bothered with someone not even bothering to ask about dates. He had time enough to go to a house warming party on Saturday whilst his parents looked after his DD and he didn't text until almost 4pm yesterday so obviously busy up til then!

boxing I know what you mean best behaviour up until a certain point then almost anything goes!

Looby. Yes. No photos, but include my Facebook profile in any messages I send.

Does that sound absolutely mental?!!

I'm not interested in the vast majority of women on the site, so not interested in any unsolicited approaches. The 4 or so women I am interested in I'll approach myself.

Lastnickname sorry but with Mr Unsuitable no matter how much you liked him to me as an outsider it seems too many issues don't work in both your favours...

UpYer I've had that before too.... Strange isn't it??

Boxing I agree but why must you back off after a good first date? I agree with what you say about holidays though, got this with Bearded Jacket but no reason to doubt that he's lying about being away!

Oh got a story re the man who was the poet and a nutcase... I saw him yesterday outside Sainsbos, I was with a friend and going shopping came out to the lifts eg going to my car, he came out of the lift with I think his younger brother, took a look at me, went to say hi but then shrugged maybe grunted and then walked into Sainsbos! He always did say if we bumped into each other locally he didn't want me to say hi to him... But my friend looked at me after this exchange and said something about men being strange.... I didn't fill her in on the story!

lastnickname have emailed Cutie almost word for what your suggestion.

I just remembered I don't usually do books like Men are From Mars, The Rules etc but got How To Meet and Marry a Man after 40 a few years back not sure if I ebayed it but she had some good sensible advice. May clear out my bookshelves tomorrow see if it's still there!

superfly good luck, let us know if cutie replies!

No reply yet lastnickname but I know he sometimes works late for job.

Will have to speak to widower at some point he may realise with my texts I am not as keen, it's a pity as I showed his pic to a friend last week and Cuties and she preferred widower!

Hi all haven't posted for a while. I've just had a fairly good first date, but going to go ahead with another date in two days time as that will stop my over investing. Since coming home we've messaged each other and arranged a second date. Only kissed on the cheek, but out of all the dates /men I've chatted to over the past 4 months he's the first that I've really wanted to grab and have my wicked way with more so than man I dated for few months. We had lots of eye contact so I'm hoping he's interested too. Bet he goes and ghosts me now I've said I like him!

Super you've shown real patience with the widower. Why not give him 2 possible days (dates) and say please pick as it would be good to see if this could work? Then leave it, you've tried and he hasn't?

Ontheair you can share phone numbers when you chat so move to What's app, but probably can add enough information for women to find you on FB too. Would it be better to just share that once you've had messages and know who you're sharing it with?

OntheAir This sounds weird to me, sorry. I actually have my settings such that if there are no photos, you can't even send me a message.

Lilacpink40 Well done on trying not to over-invest.

Someone has just viewed my profile whose picture is of him tied up, blindfolded and with duct tape on his mouth. I have no words for this.

presumably it's not a hostage situation I am choking on my breakfast!

Oh pringle it's back to our quest for the seemingly unobtainable 'normal'!

OnTheAir - honestly? I wouldn't reply to someone who had no photo. Think it's a bit risky tbh and you may not get the repsonses you're looking for?

pinkie pink --- >
Lilacpink40 -- > that's still exciting right? dare I ask if we have spoken since? but yes I know the feeling as soon as I think oh nice I jinx it

I had date1 last night

you lovely people are so good with the multiple replies!

OnTheAir instead of FB link (far too personal) may be better a new account ad hoc on ig or flkr with just a few photos
just bear in mind that it will still be cause for suspicion