Support thread for those of us having to 'co-parent' with a narc or very difficult exh thread 3

[Lilacpink40]

Thred 3!

Hasn't anyone else stuck a 9v battery on their tongue in their misguided youth?! I demand you all do it now!
Also no shower shagging or electric kinkiness - I just want to shower in peace damnit.

NO TEXTING Frog definitely no texting, very very bad idea, remember what a wanker he is.

Hi Handy the narcs blank 'I'm so innocent' look drives me insane. Mine then usually takes the eye-rolling, shrugging and sighing approach. After all how unfortunate for them to be reminded that their DCs have feelings?

Frog no, no, no texting. I like the idea of thinking of a fairy dying if you do so don't or how about a narc fairy being born to torture some a really nice female fairy? so no, no, no

Dusters your poor friend sounds so trapped. It's good you can give her a reality check.

Natsku I drank myself into oblivion many times in misguided youth, but would never have been brave enough to shock myself with a battery if I'd known it was possible

Frog no texting (read door opening) please. It will be self abuse at it's finest.

Handy I feel your pain regarding any emotional / anxiety issues with the DCs. My X never ever acknowledges, always makes out things are perfectly fine when the DCs are there - unless in front of an official. His solicitor had the nerve to say to me that X thought my DS was suffering abandonment issues!! WTF ???? So she is saying that her client acknowledges he wouldn't tell me where he lived for months (when he finally left) and recognises all of the emotional issues caused by not turning up to see DC etc ?! Not only is he a Wank Narc he can't even remember his own behaviour or keep track of his own lies - what a knob!!

As requested, the most comprehensive description I have found on the net:

outofthefog.website/personality-disorders-1/2015/12/6/narcissistic-personality-disorder-npd

That was too quick Frog ! Do much more research and stop yourself texting

And sorry, Natsku, but no I am not sticking a 9v battery on my tongue - my brain is ducked enough as it is

Thread fairy-friends: you can breathe a collective sigh of relief: no fairys will be dying...tonight...

Sorry, Purple, I've googled the subject so much that I know most of it off by heart

Just watching i don't know why A Royale Family Christmas Special that's on. So funny. Such a shame about Caroline Ahern. It's a cruel world.

Well I took some comfort from deleting his text which began 'dd is the most important thing' and then went on like this: me-me-me.

Wankstain. I'm worried he is going to become generally difficult from now on.

Thank you Frog that's just the thing.

How about "Wank Knob Narc" Purple ? I loved the Royale Family, what about when the nan died .....

Handy Deleting texts can be very therapeutic ! Are you going to use the nick name Wankstain - WS ?

Dusters they were just posing for photos holding the ashes!

Handy I think the key to some of us has been to regain control. Deleting texts is a good way. Don't let him start to infiltrate your thoughts too much if you can, that way leads to madness and hands him back more control.

Yes you're right. I can't do anything about his fuckwittery. Need to regain composure and channel my amazing psychotherapist.

Frog, yay no texts sent and fairies everywhere breathe collective sigh of relief

Deleting texts is indeed very therapeutic! SF used to send me up to 60 a day when I left, most memorable being 'the boys and I have decided it's time you apologise and move back home' 🙄😡 At the time I kept them and told him I'd saved them as evidence and if he didn't quit I'd report him to police for harassment! Twunt!
Took the boys round to my parents for the afternoon and dinner, also emailed solicitor a few points I'd forgotten like the fact that although SF is claiming I'm refusing to return DS1 and it's a large part of his case, he has never actually asked me to return him! Or anything about him at all but that's normal tbh

So clever that it was funny and sad at the same time Purple. Also loved the bit when she went into labour in the bathroom, and the dad sat on the floor with her and held her hand (sobs....).

I agree with the regaining of control Handy. Am feeling quite unsettled after seeing my friend, she didn't even seem to think being in control of her own future was her right/an option ! I was telling her about the circumstances of my split from my ex. Hadn't spoken about it for ages, and could feel the old feelings flooding back. But thinking about where I am now, I can see that taking as much control as I could/can has made a huge difference.

Dusters sadly and bloody frustratingly it doesn't sound as if your friend is ready to take control of her life yet. It's lucky for her she has such a strong friend as you, but I fear she is a long way off dealing with her particular dick.

Just checking in
Still here but not got as much time as I'd like to keep up.

Handy - loving Wankstain. I think you've found a spiritual home with us lot. WN being wanknarc with a variety of sprays and wipes to kill him.

I call my ex GF. It stands for Granny Fucker because OW is a granny. Oh how I laugh.

Unfortunately DD wants to know what it stands for, slight fail on my part but in the grand scheme of things,....

I've had a surprising interaction today. He sends txt saying I am having DC on x date for a (OW) family party.
I reply no you're not.
He says yes I am.
I say, No, you're not. I am not discussing this and do not contact me regarding this or any other topic.

It's all gone quiet.
And that's the trouble. When they argue you're all on edge. When they go quiet, you're all on edge.
That's the measure of the WN isn't it?
Fucking arsehole.

However my date #4 - he has asked if we could go to the cinema, a proper date (#1 was pizza and a gauge of chemistry) #2 was he cooked and lots of amazing sex #3 I cooked and more sex
I'm having so much fun doing this all back to front!

You're spot on Purple. Just looking at the NPD document provided by Frog, I'd say her dp matches about 90% of the criteria. I'm going to give it to her and warn her that it'll knock her sideways. I have to accept that she still won't be able to do anything about it. But maybe she'll start to spot the traits and see the manipulation, and recognise him as the cliche he so obviously is.

Dung agree completely. The quiet used to terrify me when DS was with him. I used to text asking how he was and he's never reply. Cunt.

Moved DS into my bed. Feeling sorry for myself and over emotional. Have a picture of him in my bedroom and I just kept looking at it and sobbing. He's snoring and has brought loads of teddies and his own pillow and duvet. DP offered to take the sofa so DS could have his side.

Hey Dung

GF that's brilliant ! As soon as I read that I thought of a mobility scooter !! And I love your response to his text. Grey rock. I know the silence is unnerving, but you've put him in his place.

And O.M.G. Dates #2 and #3 - the Great British Sex Off !! Daren't ask what film you're going to see at the cinema . Bloody good for you, hope you're having a wonderful time.

So while we're all imagining electric shock shower sex dung is off having the real thing. Brilliant hope date #4 goes well!

frog well done. Please please please remember you don't love him, you love the person he wanted you to think he was. It's hard to come to terms with, I know, but you can't text the man you love, he's not in there.

YY to the fear when you stand up to them and they go quiet. Always wondering what is next because we all know we Must Pay.

Green, must pay is a good way to summarise that sick, anxious stomach feeling that WN like to create in their victims. I used to purposely not ask him for help if anything went wrong, e.g. something broke or stress at work, as he'd blame me and everything would feel worse.

Now I'm not responding to my WN negativity I wonder how his GF is being treated. They're due to get their own place soon, while at hers he's probably been on best behaviour, but I wonder if he's shown signs yet.

Mine lives with his gf, they've been together around 2 years. I do wonder how he treats her. He's sent me horrible messages off her phone before, and I've come to blows with her once. Maybe she's just as bad.