Support thread for those of us having to 'co-parent' with a narc or very difficult exh thread 3

[Lilacpink40]

Thred 3!

Buttermint?

Intensely buttermint.
I'm on 6 regular teas and about 2 coffees a day (decaff later in day).

Then add in a few flavoured drinks in eve, like buttermint. Or earlier if I'm home.

Tea definitely in my DNA.

Wow, I'm a lightweight !!

They don't sell buttermint tea over here :(

I drink at least two potfulls a day (so 6 mugs) then maybe some night time tea in the evening. And whenever I travel anywhere I fill a thermos flask with tea to drink on the journey.

Nearly always Earl Grey for me.

I love that we're all drinking gallons of tea. If only it helped you to lose weight - I'd look like a stick !

I drink my tea black with no sugar so its zero calories really

Mr HJM is here !!!! I'd just got in and he turned up ! Not looking v glam but had time for a quick hair brush. He was so chatty, telling me about his crazy morning. Found out we were both vegetarians ! I have to leave soon, so will have a quick goodbye. Oh, I'm so frustrated, I was kind of hoping I wouldn't like him anymore - but I do.................

OOo both vegetarians - its a good sign!

Think about the plus side of him not drinking tea - you'll never have to argue over who gets the last cup in the pot.

Ooh could you ask him for restaurant recommendations?

Posted too soon! So you can at least vaguely discuss going out/date type scenarios (and have somewhere up your sleeve for a date suggestion, although it might be a tad soon yet...)

And find out if his attitudes to food are as weird as his approaches to drinks still struggling with the idea of no tea

Yes, no teapot arguments ! Vegetarian restaurant ideas is a good one. I don't know of any around where I live, he's lived here a lot longer, so could ask him.

I'm still struggling with the no tea I was about to offer him one earlier, it's hard wired into me. My friend's husband is lovely and doesn't like hot drinks, so with the vegetarianism I'm prepared (just) to overlook it.

He's coming back tomorrow or next week

Meant to say Nats that's hardcore, black with no sugar

Sounds good dusters I'm currently getting my romance fix through you (if that isn't too weird) so I'm hoping he's back tomorrow!

I've had both Earl Grey and buttermint today. I knew you lot were my people.

Suppose it means you wouldn't have to increase your teabag expenditure if you moved in together?

Tea with milk makes me sick, its just wrong! And don't like it sweet, sometimes OH forgets and puts honey in mine and its sickly.

Yorkshire tea is where it's at!

Starting to get nervous/anxious re solicitors appointment tomorrow, not sure what I want the outcome to be or what she will advise. Bloody hate uncertainty.

Tea yuk. Coffee. Proper. Strong!

Dusters Love that you're both Veggies - that's hugely helpful on dinner dates. So exciting to have a heart jump of any kind. Just enjoy the simplicity of our without over thinking it.

Ohbollocks don't stress or try not to. Don't try to think of what if before you have the advice. Put it out your mind tonight.

Lilac I keep meaning to catch up with your dating antics on date thread but it moves too fast for me.

My date man is different. He is currently v v stressed and bogged down at work. I could take his radio silence as an insult but I'm following this new line of emotional well being. More later. So I'm simply letting it wash. When he's around he's attentive. I'm very blasé about him. Except in bed. Then he's hot hot hot.

My new emotional state. I had a moment in counselling. I described my emotions as a gently waving piece of string. I do not want to leave the string. It's calm and I like it. I have shut out anything pulling or threatening my line.

I compared it to when with WN. It was a zig zag with huge peaks and dips and tightly bunched piece of string.

It was a powerful visualisation. So much so, I came home and made some art !

My old and new emotional state.

Dung brilliant that you sound very strong about your reflections on WN and ok with date man too. At least you're getting some hot action. I've got three I'm writing to through the day, two I've met but no action yet. Hoping Fri date goes well as house to myself

Funnily enough I've always thought my life with WN as a ball of knots. Counselling undid the knots, but I have to straighten the kinks and relax and that could take many years. Your picture makes good sense to me!

OhB yes try to distract yourself as much as possible. Read, TV, drink yorkshire tea...repeat.

Dusters both vegetarians, surely it's meant to be?
Please, please do lost, innocent act next time "I don't know of any good vegetarian restaurants around here, but I don't go out much, would love to but..." leave gap look vague, bit sad. Hope he jumps in to save you. Also lots of eye contact for longer than usual. Look at his lips lots too. If it doesn't work you can have fun flirting.

greencar that's ok, I'm living vicariously through Lilac and Dung's dating/romances !! I would never need to move in with him. He lives a 5 minute walk from me, perfect for popping down when the kids aren't here. He'd be my little secret You're right about not overthinking it Dung. I was much more relaxed today, more able to be myself. I'd love something to develop, but just enjoying the now. I have to admit Lilac I do look at him a lot when he's talking. I'm quite tactile and the temptation to touch him is quite overwhelming (I sound nuts !!).

Back to tea. I also love Yorkshire tea Ohb. Have a few cups tonight and try not to stress about tomorrow. As they say, don't borrow worry from tomorrow. At least it'll give you some answers and a way ahead.

Dung I love the string image, and that you've gone all Blue Peter and made one earlier . It makes really good sense. I'm pretty much like a gentle wavy line just now - most of the time. That's why I'm reluctant to take any risks, because I'm enjoying the relative peace. Your counselling sounds great.

Lilac In the nicest way possible I hope you're not posting tomorrow night. Instead, I hope the date has been amazing and your empty house hasn't been wasted Immediate posts next day though please !

^and if he doesn't take the hint or is too shy dusters maybe it could lead to you offering to take him out to said restaurant as a thank you for his excellent work?? (ever hopeful, me)

Oops we cross posted, I was talking about lilac's ploy not having to move in with him sounds perfect!

Good luck tomorrow oh. At least when you've been you'll have a bit more certainty.

lilac updates here too please.

dung your art makes a lot of sense to me too. I'm still knotted up, thanks to WN. I'll aim for that nice wavy line!

mysinking was it you that mentioned prioritising freedom soon (sorry, can't scroll back or remember!). I can report back when I've done some of it if you like?

Like your thinking there greencar. I have enough info now to do some low level stalking, and dropping his name into conversation with mutual friends! I had thought about taking up jogging and collapsing into his front garden on my way home . I don't think the sweaty, I'm having a small heart attack look would be that appealing though ?!