I really don't want my son anymore.

[LockwoodJ]

How do I fix this? I don't want him.

That's why you need to call SS now OP and make them aware before the end of the school day.

You need to speak to social services for YOU. Call and tell them that you need help and NOW. Explain everything. Ask them what they think you should do. You need professional support and help for you as well as your son or you will end up in a very bad place indeed and no use to anyone.

Op, do you have other DC? Has your son ever assaulted anyone else?

I think you are doing the right thing by saying you can't cope any more as this goes far beyond 'difficult' behaviour. A broken bone is a serious injury and I can't believe that you have had so little support. I wouldn't pick up my child from school either in your situation because he sounds so dangerous.

What are 'the reasons' he assaulted the OP? She should put up with it because 'that's love'? Christ, I hope you lot don't dole out marital advice to domestic abuse victims. "Well, he beats the crap out of me but I love him, because that's what love is, you can't just walk away." Fuck's sake.

The police and social services routes will be the best for both of you. You are no one's punchbag, not a partner's, not a kid's, and he cannot stay in your home any more as you are not safe.

Op. Lots of advice here. Will you be following through on any of them ?

I'm sure you're angry but please put that aside for a minute and work out your next move. It's not fair on your boy or you if this continues.

You are his mum though, you have a responsibility towards him. i know that he has been awful and you are scared for your safety, but leaving him at school just is not an option. You need to separate out your personal feelings from the duty of care you have towards your son.

You need to call SS. Now. You need to go and bring him home, and the first bit of violence you call the police.

Were the police involved when he broke your cheek? If not they need to be involved now.

If it were me I would go to the school and ask for help, then, no matter how bad you feel, bring him home. If he knows you're leaving him there now he's likely to be worse when he gets home.

All he wants is to be around them and they're 'amazing parents' who offer him alcohol and cigarettes

To 12 year olds .

As I said, I am not in the UK, but is this not the root of the problem? Can you not report these parents whilst you are dealing with SS?

This isn't going to resolve itself overnight OP, but for now you need to do what you need to do. You didn't say (or I didn't see a reply) that SS have been involved. I agree you cannot carry on like this. YOU and he need help. But you have to go out there and get the help it seems.

Op, make some calls. You both need help.

If this didn't get better he'll be a grown man with these issues....

Good luck

*doesn't

marshmallow

In some circumstances the best way to discharge a responsibility is to delegate.

What Ketsby said.
He has made a choice, and he can live with the consequenses. Call the police and SS straight away.

OP, really sorry about your situation. Can you find out if your council can help you with putting your son into a community boarding and day school administered by the council? Such schools educate children who have statements of special educational needs based primarily on a range of emotional and behavioural difficulties.

Yes police were called when he broke my cheek, he was taken by them.

He hit me because I blocked the door (it was 3 am and his mates were waiting for him and I didn't want him going out).

I will be phoning the school, I'm just trying to get my head together.

I agree with the other commenter that told you to go to the school and ask the teacher (or the school's social worker) for help.

Your son needs help. Leaving him will make things worse... For both of you, potentially.

Yes, it will be difficult. But not going will make things worse.

You sound completely at the end of your tether, you can't go on as you are.

If it was me I suppose I would speak to social services & get some respite care. There are foster carers who are trained to look after children with needs like his, they can help. And some space and safety and sleep for you might help.

Yes, there are reasons in his head why he is testing his mother in this way. It's absolutely disgusting that the OP got hurt, vile, but this is her child and if OP doesn't look out for him, who will? OP needs to know why in order to try and solve. Obviously a 12 yr olds answers are not going to make sense at first but I think on further reflection the OP would be able to read between the lines.
I can't comment on SS as I have no idea on that front, but I think calling the school to let them know what actions you wish to be taken next is the first call you should make, i.e. I wish for the social services to collect my child for assessment and help as I cannot control him and I have to protect my family .
The school will know exactly what to do.

They cannot let your son leave school this afternoon if you have said you will not go to school or if you have said he cannot come home.

I feel very sorry for you. YOu need a break. maybe your son should be taken in to social services for a while to give you a break and to prompt him to think.

He has made a choice, and he can live with the consequenses.

Can we please bear in mind that this is a child jelli not a hardened criminal?

Mikk's language of EBD is far more appropriate.

I wish for the social services to collect my child for assessment and help as I cannot control him and I have to protect my family

Op, please do that.

Or go to the school and tell them in person.

I can't believe some of the comments on here. Clearly all is well in their world. Good luck OP.

Those pointing out to the OP that her son's behaviour will continue to deteriorate without intrevention... don't you think she fucking knows that? It's obvious this is someone posting from the point of desperation.

I'm leaving this thread now, too fucking judgemental and not good for my wellbeing today.

OP I wish you luck. I hope you and your son get the help and support you both deserve

Yes, there are reasons in his head why he is testing his mother in this way. It's absolutely disgusting that the OP got hurt, vile, but this is her child and if OP doesn't look out for him, who will? OP needs to know why in order to try and solve

Yes she needs to know why.

But seeking some respite is averting a worse crisis. It's not absolving herself of responsibility. It's acting responsibly.

When i was saying about OP being accused of abandoning him i was simply trying to point out that she needs to be proactive if sh wants any sort if successful outcome here because just saying i don’t want him back and doing nothing will not wash with social workers. OP has a responsibility towards her DS. I know he is acting badly but there must be some underlying reason for this and i rather suspect it has to do with the DH being il and not at home. He is 12 and she is the adult. SS have a duty of care to the child and not to the parent. This can be a really hard thing for some parents to get their heads round (and i do understand why). I would really like to know if he is an only or if there are other DC at home?