I really don't want my son anymore.

[LockwoodJ]

How do I fix this? I don't want him.

It would be unusual for a 12 year old to just be 'bad' as it were. He needs therapeutic help to get to the bottom of this and you need some respite.

What do you think would happen if you told the school and social services that you can't have him living with you for a while? Are they already aware of him? Does he have diagnosed?

How would that feel to you?

Do you understand the implications of not going into the school?

When I was going through this with my daughter I begged social services to help. I have two younger children too that were hearing her awful language and hearing her screaming at me and her smashing things around the house. I told them I needed help and couldn't cope.
They basically told me they couldn't help because nobody had actually been hurt physically. They told me to find a family member who could help or have her stay with.
Teaming up with the school is your best bet.

Would a Boarding school for other residential school be an option, so he gets away from the children you find a bad influence?
It must be heartbreaking, for a twelve year old to break one of your bones 💐 you poor thing it's horrific.
I am guessing there is much more to this and he didn't wake up one day and start being violent.
Good luck I hope you get help from somewhere.

Ds4 has asd and often bites, punches me. His behaviour id due to his disabilities' not because he's being a little sod swanning around with his mates and acting the hard man. It's a totally different thing

To be fair dixie you don't know that it's a very different thing. It could be an extremely similar thing, in fact, with a different presentation.

So what will happen if he isn't collected from school?

Oh my god..you've told school you're not going?! abandoning him ? He's 12...he needs urgent help to deal with his emotions, you really don't have a choice..get to the school and support your son ! You need to re-assure him over and over that you will be there for him whatever. Help him. There is support out there for you too,

Call social services. He can be temporarily taken into care. He is not safe because of his behaviour, neither are you.

With a little breathing space maybe he will accept help.

This doesn't sound like a sustainable state of affairs OP.

You need to find a way to force the issue to get some effective service input.

Could some of this be a reaction to your DH being ill and not being at home? Sometimes pre teens find it hard to say how they are feeling and this may be his way of telling the world that he is not coping?

What was the school's reaction to you saying you weren't going to get him?

It doesn't matter if I don't collect him, they leave him in isolation until the end of the school day. He is already at a new school (started in September) as his old school wouldn't keep him on. He got excluded too many times. I don't want him at home, he can stay in isolation. Do you not understand that if I tell him I'll be there he is just nasty? You don't understand how bad he is.

I think you can put him into care, it is an option.

I feel for you, op.

You need to think of yourself. You'll be no good to him if he wears you down.

I think a few days in care would do him good.

Do you have other children OP? They need a safe home as well.

Women do not need to put up with male violence no matter where it comes from. You have a right to be safe in your own home.

I think it's fine to say you aren't picking him up. He broke your face.
No, you dont have to be there there for your children no matter what. There are lots of things I can think of that

SleepFreeZone You cannot just put a child into care. That is not how it works. Social work need to be involved and it has to be assessed as in the child's best interests and a million hoops jumped through and paper work has to be dealt with. I would know, i am a social worker.

I'm not sure from your posts if you've had formal input from social services. However, whether you have or haven't, i think you need to get on to the 'phone to them now, and tell them you are at breaking point, and you need help - now. Raise a child safeguarding alert, and tell them you are not going to collect him and you don't believe you can look after him at present.

This is going to potentially lead to drastic action, are there any other family who can have him? Otherwise they will have to look at other care options. Come 3pm (or whenever the school day ends) he won't be the school's responsibility and he will need somewhere to go.

Yes we understand OP.

It's very clear that you desperately need a break.

Yes op it is an awful situation.
I find it difficult to understand that the police have not taken this more seriously in the interests of protecting you. Have they not referred him to ss?

Blueskyinmarch, so what happens if I refuse to have him home? As that's the point it's getting at.

Plus social care cannot prevent children from absconding any more than parents can. So few secure unit places left.

OP you sound at the absolute end of your tether, you sound broken down by it. Can you get some urgent respite from SS? I don't know the process but you sound like you do need a break from this, maybe if you had respite you can recharge and face helping your son again. Children who are violent and aggressive do take a lot from you, I don't think your a bad parent just badly let down by the help that should be available to you and your son